In the blink of an eye, the children have been starting for a week, in order to help babies and parents prepare for the new semester and plan for the new year's learning, we invited Yin Xu, an invited scholar and chief product officer of the Global Better Education Forum of the University of Cambridge, to bring you a lecture "The First Lesson of English Opening".
This lecture was full of dry goods, tens of thousands of parents learned and interacted in the live broadcast room, and the most touching thing was the parents' serious notes and thirst for educational knowledge. There was even a careful parent who made a few small flowers by hand to send messages and expectations to their children, echoing what Teacher Yin Xu said. In fact, whether the form is handmade, guide, or handwritten, documentation, behind it is every parent's ardent expectations for the growth of their children, fist and fist, but also the silent care and love of moisturizing things.
Until the end of the live broadcast, the parents who are concerned about the growth of their children have been reluctant to leave for a long time, and have been discussing the problems of children's growth and English learning with Teacher Yin Xu in the comment area.
As the "founder" of the original Learning and Thinking English subject, Ms. Yin Xu has more than 10 years of experience in English education teaching and research, and is well aware of children's learning and subject planning and development. At the request of parents, we have also specially sorted out the lecture content for everyone to review.
Teacher Yin Xu talked about three formulas in total:
Happiness = Interest = Continuous Positive Feedback = Persistence = Habit
Growth = Setting Goals = Reaching Goals = Milestones = Rituals
Child status = parental relationship + parental mindset
Parents' expectations of their children are always inseparable from these two words: "happy" and "growing". But how do you do that? Next, let's analyze them one by one.
1
What is the relationship between parents and children's learning?
Parents are the first model, the first motivation and the first goal for children to learn.
First model: The child will imitate the parents. If parents are always angry at their children's learning, then their children's attitude towards learning will also be angry.
The first motivation: the expectations given by parents will become the child's initial motivation.
The first purpose: when a child is young, he will want to be like his parents.
Handling these three relationships with children well can help children grow well. Before looking forward to children, think: What kind of parents do we want to be?
2
Happy
First of all, we need to clarify the definition of happiness: what we want to cultivate is the joy of children getting a sense of meaning and achievement in learning and growing, rather than the simple thrill of playing mobile games.
This meaningful pleasure comes from interest, and lasting interest comes from continuous positive feedback.
Positive feedback
In life, we often inadvertently give our children a lot of negative feedback: "Why can't you write your own homework?" "How come you're always so-so?" "Don't always procrastinate!" Such expressions full of "no" will make children remember negative keywords more firmly, but more sloppily.
We can try to use positive expressions such as: "We try to write our own homework today, right?" "Baby, check your homework more carefully." "Baby speed up and try to wash up in 10 minutes!" If the child finishes well, be sure to praise it in time. The things that people like must be the areas that receive the most positive feedback. With such positive feedback, it is more helpful for children to cultivate interest in good habits and good behaviors.
Parents should also pay attention to the continuous positive feedback where it is important.
Ask your child for one thing at a time, not everything at the same time. For example, for children who are slow to write homework, they want children to write fast, and they want children to write well, and they also want children to write neatly, which is too difficult for children, but it is difficult to achieve goals, and it may also make children pursue perfection too much in the future, resulting in some compulsive behaviors. For example, some children who write a wrong word and tear up the entire composition must require flawlessness, which will affect efficiency.
An important aspect is selected for a period of time, and the child insists on it for a period of time after forming a habit before asking for the next thing. For example, if you want your child to do homework without procrastination, then be sure to give praise to your child every time he finishes his homework on time, rather than picking out other problems for your child: "It is very good that you complete your homework on time, but there are many mistakes, and the words are not neat." After the child has formed positive feedback on the matter of completing the homework on time for a period of time, we ask for a neat writing. Children will also have a greater sense of accomplishment in the breakthrough of small problems.
Specific and clear expectations and feedback
When making a request to your child, be sure to give specific and clear behaviors so that your child can know how to do it and really make a change.
Vague feedback: you have to be a little more serious (unable to perform)
Specific and clear feedback: check each exam / one more assignment per day (specific can be executed)
The more specific our expectations and feedback, the better. For example, tell the child: "I hope you can sit still", so in what situation is it that you can sit still, and does watching cartoons count? Sit for a few minutes and sit still? If you tell your child, "I hope you can concentrate on sitting for 20 minutes while doing your homework this semester," it will be a good implementation.
3
Big goals are broken down into small goals
Set a goal with your child and break it down into small goals that your child is capable of achieving, but you also need to have enough small goals.
Teacher Yin Xu had a little girl in the third grade in the class before, the first two pre-class tests were all wrong, Teacher Yin Xu talked to her about the reason, the little girl said that because of the knowledge learned a lot, she could not remember all the content. So Teacher Yin Xu discussed with the little girl, next time do not have to remember all, as long as you remember a word is great. In the next test, the little girl wrote two words correctly! Teacher Yin Xu praised the little girl in time and discussed, can you challenge me to remember one more and remember three words next time? The little girl was challenged by a small goal and finally reached the full pair of words.
Children are kind and do not want to disappoint teachers and parents. They will fulfill the expectations of their parents and teachers as much as possible within their capabilities. However, as parents and teachers, children need to be helped break down small goals together.
Encourage good behavior in children, not good results
Psychologists have done a set of experiments: two groups of smart children answer questions, one group answers correctly and praises intelligence (encouraging results), and one group praises (encouraging behavior) as long as they can answer the question bravely and dare to try to challenge. Gradually, children who answer correctly and are only praised become more and more afraid of making mistakes, because in their eyes, answering wrong means not being rewarded, and it also means that they are "not smart". And as long as the answer is praised by the children, the more courageous they are, and the braver they try.
Encouraging good behavior makes more sense than encouraging good results, because sustainable good results must come from good behavior. Good grades come from good study habits. If you only praise your child's good test scores, then your child may do whatever it takes to get good results, even at the cost of plagiarism. And praise the child to learn to work hard, the child will continue to develop the habit of serious effort, and the final good results are only an inevitable result.
Sense of ceremony
Use natural time nodes to help children set goal ceremonies and set growth milestones. Such time nodes such as new semesters, New Year's Day, holidays. Goals such as passing the GESE exam, KET exam.
After the child achieves the goal, the parents should also record it and give the child continuous positive feedback. You can give your child some meaningful reward ceremonies, such as accompanying your child to an amusement park, making a citation wall, and so on. In the days that follow, children can also savor the joy of achieving their goals.
4
The way of getting along and expressing between family members is the way children get along and express themselves with people when they grow up, and the child is the mirror of parents and needs the correct guidance of parents. For example, if a child falls, the parent says "How can you be careless!" (Negative feedback), the child will also use this expression of "why don't you..." in the future, because he thinks this is the way to express concern. If parents are not good at expressing love, children will grow up to be poor at expressing love.
It is also important for parents to pay attention not to exchange love for love. For example, saying something like "Mom and Dad don't love you if you don't learn" to your child. In a stable, safe, and loving environment, children can face challenges more bravely and thrive.
At the beginning of the new semester, we also prepared a "positive feedback" letter template for moms and dads. Moms and Dads can also use it to write a letter with their baby, ritually praise their children's growth and progress, and express their expectations for the new semester.
5
A selection of interactive Q&A for parents
Q1: How to guide children to fall in love with English?
It all starts with the child's interests. Some children like to compete, some children like to talk to people... Combine English with your child's interests. For example, children who like to draw, in addition, pay attention to children who do not like English, whether they give negative feedback: for example, let children memorize words every day, look at test scores, and children will be scolded if they do not reach it. In this case, the child must not love English. Remember to give positive feedback in time when the child is doing well, and put forward a little challenge in the process of praise.
Q2: What should I do if my child can't help but cry?
Q3: What should I do if my child is afraid of difficulties and bypasses them as soon as there is a difficulty?
It may be because the child cries as soon as he encounters difficulties in the early stage, and he can get love. Encourage children to be brave in challenging behaviors rather than good outcomes. As long as the child tries to solve the problem, praise no matter what the result. It is also necessary to pay attention to whether the child is afraid of difficulties or the criticism of parents after the difficulties are not completed.
I believe that everyone has gained a lot in this "First Lesson of School", and you are welcome to leave a message with us in the comment area to share your feelings about your child's new semester.
I wish every baby a happy growth in the new semester!