The picture of this article comes from the film "Cheek"
In human life, it is always good to have attachments to others. It is like adding a little flavor, a little color, to a life as plain as water, making it change from thin and dull to intense, from monotonous to colorful.
In the world, people come and go alone, and the red stripes come and go without concern, it is indeed a feeling of freedom, but the feeling of freedom is a bit light and fluttery. As Milan Kundera said: Life cannot bear the lightness. Although we know that any attachment in the world, whether it is to people or things, will always be like a lead pendant on the wings, making people unable to spread their wings and fly freely, but people are often caught in a deep attachment to people and things, and Gein's yearning for strong taste and color. The advantages and disadvantages of the freedom of a person to be alone are free and free to do as they please; the disadvantage is that life is somewhat thin, some dull, some monotonous, no ups and downs, no heavy ink.
Alone, everything is controllable, and all actions and thoughts are under control. There are many uncontrollable factors, such as other people's interests, hobbies, life's concerns, and even daily emotions, which are unpredictable and uncontrollable. But because of this, people will be curious, will find it interesting, have suspense, like guessing puzzles, want to know each other's ideas, each other's lives, each other's feelings. The other is a vivid, independent being, whose life and his own are like two intersecting lines, intersecting and colliding at a certain point, splashing out brilliant enigmatic sparks, rather than like most other people in the world, just parallel to themselves.
I saw an article by Liu Yu on loneliness, which mentioned that the reason why he was alone was because he did not want to bother to "run a relationship" . If a relationship needs to be managed, then it is a burden, a burden. Only a relationship that comes from the heart's needs is worth maintaining.
There is such a relationship, your heart naturally talks to him, is attracted to him, chases him, pays attention to him, loves him, waits for him, listens to him. This relationship is not disturbing, but happy. All dialogue is heartfelt thought; all questioning is heartfelt curiosity; all thoughts are heartfelt impulses; all attention is heartfelt love. Such a relationship is not a burden, not a burden. It can bring joy and comfort to people.
Most things in the world are without suspense, after eating will be hungry, sleep will wake up, to go somewhere, no matter how long you walk, you will definitely arrive. Only the relationship with a certain person sometimes has suspense (most relationships are also without suspense, such as parent-child relationship, lover relationship). He has his life, you have your life, and the two are like crossed lines, intersecting only somewhere. This suspenseful relationship is more interesting, like a riddle that has not yet guessed the bottom of the puzzle, and attracts your curiosity.
Unfortunately, such a relationship can be encountered and not sought. If there happens to be such a person in the world, if you happen to meet him, if you happen to have a chance to signal, if he happens to respond to you, if... That's where it's possible to build this interesting relationship.
Life becomes more interesting than loneliness if there are one or two such interesting relationships.
People survive in society, have to deal with people, in addition to family affection, according to what principles should be based on the establishment of acquired interpersonal relations? I thought about it, and the following principles should be followed:
First, the principle of least resistance. If you want to make friends with someone who has no interest in you, there's a lot of resistance. Most marriages in society are right, because people of similar social classes and living environments have the least resistance to communication and are most likely to succeed.
Second, the principle of common discourse. To make friends, you must have common concerns, common interests, and a common discourse system, so that you can have something to say and talk about. If the meeting and conversation is tasteless, the eyes are wide and the eyes are small, and there is nothing to talk about, there is no need to communicate.
Again, the principle of mutual pleasure. The person with whom you have a relationship must be able to bring you pleasure, and if it feels like a bland or even painful relationship, you should not have it. Only a relationship that is pleasing to each other, a relationship that can make you often feel happy and comfortable, is worth establishing, otherwise it is not necessary.
Of course, many human relationships in the world are exchanged for benefits and mutual service and even interdependence, and such relationships are beyond the scope of this article.
There are too many people in the world to befriended, like the water of the Tao River, looking dizzy. My attitude is: weak water three thousand take only one scoop to drink. This is the only right attitude and the only possible attitude. Man only needs to make friends with those who are in touch with his own soul, and the Tao is different and does not conspire with each other. When you associate with people who are connected with the heart, you get happiness; when you associate with people who do not understand, you get troubles. In the vast sea of people, there are only two or three people worth paying. Ancients Cloud: Unsatisfactory things are often eight or nine, but they can be the same as the speakers. This is also true.