A high bride price? It is the embodiment of weak spiritual strength

The bride price that was once in feudal society was not only to show the economic status of the man's family in society, but also a promise to the woman's family, promising that the woman would not be too hard in life in the future, and would give full play to the high-quality "machismo" and be the pillar of the family.

In today's society, why has receiving a bride price become a vulgar act that everyone shouts and beats?

First, we have to talk about changes in the social structure.

In feudal society, the family was presented in the form of a family, formed by the common struggle of several generations and the continuous struggle. Such a family, in the way of obtaining resources, has decades of accumulation, stability, and high income, family residence is stable, will not be easy to migrate. Through the major families, in a fixed position, mutual communication, maintaining the interpersonal relationship between relatives and friends is indispensable, only in this way, can we learn from each other's strengths, mutual restraint, exchange of materials, win-win and common interests, and achieve a stable position in the status of male families. In the final analysis, the bride price and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are an indispensable part of marrying a high-quality wife and safeguarding the interests of the family.

In contrast, modern society, first of all, the family, for the vast majority of ordinary people, the family has long been split into a small family, the family has become atomized, the economic chain between the family, more and more do not need to be maintained through interpersonal relations, the nature of everyone's work, has not relied on these to obtain, but more direct work. With the obvious regional disparity in the remuneration for work, this has led to the movement and migration of personnel. Such a flow will inevitably make the original stable small atomic structure family more fragmented.

When the person who earns money changes from a group of families to a person, the income result can be imagined, and it must be lower.

What impact does the decline in the outcome of the benefit have on people and on the marital relationship?

That is, the inner sense of well-being, and the lack of security, that is, the spiritual core, are becoming weaker and weaker.

Because when we act as a family unit, everyone follows the rules of "always being a family" and "supporting each other and forgiving up with each other", even if one of the links in the middle has deteriorated or broken, other family members and structures can be quickly replenished and will not lead to the collapse of the entire system.

And in the current family relationship, we are first and foremost atoms, we are alone against all kinds of dangers, but we can not get too much protection, we know very well, once our chain is broken, it will face, more often than not, doom. As a result, our core becomes increasingly fragile, and we are anxious to grasp something that can be used for our own disposal and is stable and unchanging: money, or stable relationships.

It is precisely because of the weakening of the spiritual core that we will become more dependent on the demand for external things, desperately eager to grasp and control something, and pin our feelings of powerlessness on external objects and on others. Moreover, the weaker the person's mental strength, the stronger this desire to control.

Thus, the sky-high bride price was born.

The problems reflected in the sky-high bride price are not single:

For those who claim the bride price:

People who demand a high dowry are due to the lack of support for themselves in their hearts, the lack of strong spiritual strength, because life is stuck in the quagmire, they have no ability to climb out, so they are particularly urgent, eager to grasp a straw, do not need to pay any price, can be easily obtained, fantasizing about being able to quickly achieve the counterattack of life, to achieve a leap in economic conditions.

But the fact is that what level of people will meet what level of people, what kind of spiritual intensity, will dominate the wealth of the same position. (To be elaborated in a follow-up article)

For those who give the bride price:

The reason why there will be such a large resentment, hatred and dissatisfaction with the number of bride price is also because his mental strength is too weak, and he feels that the other party's demands on him deeply sting his self-esteem. The weaker the person, the more they will see their self-esteem as exaggerated, not allowing others to be offended a little, and the more they will also aspire to fantasize about having a quality partner who demands nothing from himself and is obedient to himself.

But the truth is that people of any level will meet people of what level. People with weak spiritual strength will also bond with people with weak spiritual strength, pull each other, deepen self-consumption in the pull, and thus fall into a deeper quagmire...

#Bride price # #为什么中国存在很多婆媳关系不好的现象 #