[Humorous joke] Yesterday, I finally found a job that suited me. Today I dressed up beautifully and stood in a cheongsam at the entrance of the bathing center to greet me. The manager came over and repeatedly explained to me: "If a customer comes, you just need to nod your head and show kindness, don't talk, although you are in good shape, people are also good enough, but the voice is still not ideal!" ”
[Humorous joke] Last night the power outage, not long after seeing the girlfriend sent a circle of friends, said that it was opened in the hotel a room, asked everyone if you want to come to the shower? The room was open anyway, couldn't get the cheaper owner... I thought about the power outage in my own house, so I went with a change of clothes. By the time I arrived, the room couldn't squeeze me out...
[Humorous joke] The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, I felt that her family's food was particularly delicious, and I didn't pay attention to eating five bowls in a row. Suddenly I found that all of them were staring at me, so I remembered the image problem, and after wiping my mouth for the last time, I said:
food
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【Humorous joke】 The mother-in-law's mother-in-law's family invited guests, I wrapped a big red envelope to go, for my wife to win face, my wife is very happy. After returning home in the evening, the wife smiled and said: "Husband, you are so good, how can you wrap such a big red envelope?" It really gives me a long face. I teased her: "Of course, I want to wrap a big red packet, this is not to see my monkey face but to see your Buddha face!" The wife asked incomprehensibly, "Why is your monkey face and mine the Buddha's face?" I smiled and said, "I don't understand this, just go and see Sun Wukong and Rulai Buddha." The wife was stunned for a moment, then punched me and said, "Well, you dare to say that my face is big!" ”
[Humorous joke] The cousin company held a sorority party, and the boss drank too much and accidentally announced that he had been fired. The boss also felt guilty after waking up drunk, but in order to maintain his authority, he was ready to make a mistake. The cousin was not satisfied, and used various ways to intercede with the boss. After several twists and turns, the reinstatement procedures were finally completed. The cousin was happy, set up a banquet to thank the boss and colleagues, after drinking and eating, the boss with a red face announced that he had been fired.
[Humorous joke] After three years of marriage, Miss Gao has not allowed the Eight Precepts to enter the door. One day, Miss Gao suddenly said: After so many years of marriage, I think it is time to have children. Eight Commandments: The lady opened the door quickly and let me in. Miss Gao: You don't have to come in. Eight Precepts: Uh, how do you have a baby without going in? Miss Gao: You and Tang Monk go to the Western Heavens to learn the scriptures, and when you pass by your daughter's country, you can just take some zimu river water for me to come back. The Eight Precepts...
[Humorous jokes] Some things are really predestined!! On my first birthday, there was a girl in the village who was born on the same day of the same month of the same year, and the two families caught Zhou Zhou together. The girl grabbed the calculator, and the villagers said that when they grew up, they would definitely be a financial expert. Everyone was curious about what I would grab, and I grabbed the girl's hand tightly. More than twenty years later, the girl who took away my pay card and took care of my family's expenses gave me only a hundred pieces of pocket money every month...
[Humorous joke] Last night, there was a heavy rainstorm, I came home from work early to see my wife rubbing her arms hard in the bathroom, the skin was rubbed red, and I was still breathing, I was scared and bad, and asked her: Wife, what is wrong with you? My wife immediately cried when she saw me and said: I just met a bad guy on the road! He passed the puddle and drove the broken BMW so fast, didn't he see how dirty the water was there! Splashing me with dirty water, so dirty! How can this cleanliness be so heavy?
[Humorous joke] The female colleague was immediately angry: "Brother, this is not right, since the last time we were naughty, I have always thought that you like me." The hostesses are running four, so old women, you also like? I asked rhetorically: "The boss is also running four, why do you still like it?" The female colleague said angrily: "Brother, let's make a deal, you catch up with the boss lady, I wish you a hundred years of good union!" I said, "It's almost successful, but what good can you give me?" The female colleague said: "Prepare you to continue to be naughty." "I thought about it for a moment and refused, if the lady boss knew about it, I guess she would beat me."
[Humorous joke] I said Big Mom, why don't you eat it? The aunt said: "It's too late to eat, eat a bite of the plate is empty, a look will know that you have no experience, see we are close, I will tell you, wait for the hot dish to come, first sandwich the dish." When the hot dish came, I learned my lesson, took the plate and pulled it, elbows, sweet and sour carp all grabbed my hand, and was about to eat it, I heard someone next to me talking: "People in the city have never seen the market ah... Faster than we are! Female colleagues also complained: "Brother, I brought you to save face, you see..." I said it's okay, we have face, a large number of old ladies have not robbed me, don't you look like I'm a cow?
【Humorous joke】 The female colleague of the company who is good with me suddenly cried today, and the boss asked me to hurry up and coax it, so I went over and asked: "What, who bullied you?" The female colleague raised her head and cried that the pear blossoms brought rain, she said: "Brother, I don't want to like you, if I don't love you, I won't miss you, I won't be jealous that there are always so many opposite sexes around you, I won't be miserable." I looked at me and whispered, "Why don't we break up!" The female colleague nodded, shook her head again, and said, "I won't agree unless you eat with me tonight!" "I said okay. Dinner was at her house, I made the meal, she washed the dish, she said: "Brother, even if you break up, you have to cook for me, my boyfriend and I like the food you make!" "I said okay.
[Humorous joke] Female colleagues want to buy a car at home, let me accompany me to see it every day, I said let your husband go to see ah, she said that her husband does not understand these, and the car is mainly bought by me. I hurriedly asked, "You mean I'm driving?" "Female colleague said yes, after you drive me to drive me to commute, how good!" She asked me, "Brother, are you going to make it domestic or import it?" I said, "Do you really want to send me?" She said: "It's not a gift, you have the right to use, the car is still my husband's, after all, in the end he pays for it." Someone paid me not to be polite, said to be a Lincoln, really not Ok Maserati can also do, or Maybach can also, female colleagues called and asked her husband, the other party said which cars are not suitable for women to drive, you can buy a Beetle.
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