The Northern Wilderness knew that the youth was in trouble that year
Meng Fangui said stealing chickens
At that time, in the Northern Wilderness, we were in the youth and frenzied spring period, and the living conditions were difficult, and the various companies inevitably made some pranks of stealing chickens and dogs and joking, and thunderous troubles appeared one after another. It can be described as wonderful and tall. The most classic is the past that Meng Fangui told.
There was no meat to eat for a long time, and the intellectuals could not stand it. Strange incidents of losing poultry often occur in the company, so the chickens, ducks, and geese of the hometown families all began to "clear the field" and catch up with the "first-level combat readiness." But the company commander alone was paralyzed. In the middle of the night, a small hen in his family was "shunned" back to the Zhiqing dormitory. Everyone is paid equally for equal work, of course, if you want to eat, you can work together, and you will "take off" the chicken's "clothes" with seven hands and eight feet.
There are also traitors in Zhijing, and after this company has information, it rushes to the dormitory with great momentum, and has already informed everyone of the wind. The people in the dormitory are panicked, anxious, and panicking. He shoved the naked chicken between the two cover rolls. The brothers sat on the edge of the kang at once to block the view of those who entered the door.
The company commander rushed into the house angrily and asked, "Who of you stole my chicken?"
No one steals! Answers.
Stolen! Someone saw it!
Didn't steal!
Stolen!
Didn't steal!
Suddenly, the company commander changed from anger to surprise, his voice changed from large to small, and his eyes seemed to be fixed.
The brothers sitting on the edge of the kang looked back at the strange eyes of the company commander: the little hen slipped out naked...
II. "Shun Pig"
Pigs are killed in the summer in the company only during the wheat harvest. Zhijing people are "stomach loss meat", all day long hungry DC salivation.
One day, a certain zhiqing who was transferred to the post office came to deliver the newspaper and saw a large pouch. Put the newspaper on the kang, pick up the empty bag and pull another Zhiqing straight to the pig number, and tiptoe to a litter of piglets. The piglets were snuggling up to the old sow and dreaming, completely unaware that a catastrophe was about to happen. The buddy saw one and grabbed his hind legs and threw it out of the pigsty. The little pig cub made an arc in the air and passed out. "Post Office" picked it up and put it in the bag, OK!
The next day, I saw the breeder Lao Wang limping towards the health center, and everyone greeted him with concern. "Fuck, I've raised it for a lifetime, it can't find its own pig baby, bite my ass, oops, oops... Yo" Lao Wang's head was full of thick Sichuan accent and gritted his teeth!
Everyone can't help but look at each other, it turns out that the old sow knows the number!
3. The soldiers of the Corps drank the wrong soup
The soldiers of the corps have a self-composed and sung "drinking soup song": "Drink soup in the morning to meet the morning sun, drink soup at noon to warm the yangyang, drink soup in the evening to get up, drink soup in the middle of the night to think of the old woman." The most delicious "soup" is the "soup fun soup" told in the following story:
When the Spring Festival arrives, each platoon makes its own dumplings. The dumplings are wrapped, so what do you cook? Simply brush the washbasin (the washbasin of the soldiers of the corps, wash your face and feet into one), and cook it with it! The fire is anxious, and the dumplings are cooked in a while, but they can be made! Open the Beidahuang wine bottle, and the dumplings will be drunk more and more. The time is not long, the wind is still cloudy, the dumplings and liquor are swept away, and the individual buddies are a bit drunk, and they fall on the kang to rest. The intellectuals who were still sober in their minds also poured dumpling soup, washed their faces and feet with a basin, and slept before they could pour foot wash water. In the middle of the night, a high-drinking buddy was thirsty, so he remembered the dumpling soup, confused and took the basin to drink, and said with a sense of satisfaction: "The original soup is the original food..."
The next morning, everyone got up, and the Zhiqing brother who washed his face and feet last night began to complain: "Which one poured foot wash water for me is not clean, what is left?" The drunk buddy really woke up like a dream: "Ah! Dare I drink foot wash last night!? ”
4. The pig's head is gone
The northern wilderness night in September is very cold, sometimes hungry at night, brothers are "stomach loss"! Chatting and chatting, we started the "Spiritual Assembly Meal", some remembered the Chinese New Year's Eve meal that my mother cooked in the evening of thirty years, some remembered the Nanxiang small dumplings by the Jiuqu Bridge, and some remembered the fried rice dumplings, sesame cakes, and Tianjin cannabis flowers on the morning stall... Some long sighs and said, "Don't think about so many delicious things, now there is a bowl of steaming Yangchun noodles, Lao Tzu is happy like a god!" ”
Just like the saying goes, "I want my mother's family - the child's uncle is coming", the next morning the company commander came to send workers, asking the two brothers to help the old workers kill pigs. Everyone wondered, "There's oil!" Sure enough, in the evening, I heard a few loud roars from outside the house: "Come and see, come and see, come late and can't see!" The intellectuals in the adobe house ran out of the room and glanced, "Hey! Boy! I saw that the two Brothers Chen were carrying a bloody big pig's head, smiling happily and triumphantly.
Originally, according to the customs of the northeast: the pig's head is the reward left for the helpers, so this pig's head is their hard work! Seeing the meat coming, everyone was happy, no one gave orders, everyone was busy with seven hands and eight hands, some boiled hot water, some faded pig hair, some went to the canteen to come to a large coarse salt, happy to live, full of energy. After a short while, the big pig's head was cleaned up and white, and it was almost time to find another big pot. Erchen said, "Don't look for it, just take my big aluminum basin." The female compatriots said, you, wash your face and feet, how disgusting! Erchen said, "Wouldn't it be clean after a few more shabu-shabu, if you wait to find the pot, it will be dark." Erchen put the large aluminum basin into the pig's head several times with water, sprinkled with large salt, threw a few peppers, and then buckled a basin to make a cover, and Ma Li put it on the stove of the fire, and grunted and torched the pig's head.
Da Chen said to everyone, "Don't all be around, wait in the back room, play poker!" Erchen said, "I'll come to the pig's head, and you can go play." Da Chen asked, "Are you okay?" Or I'll help you. Erchen patted his chest and said, "You remove the 'what' behind the line, I can't do it, you will look at it when you are old!" "Erchen arrived a year earlier than us, and he mixed the Northeast dialect with the Beijing dialect.
Everyone returned to the house and played poker around the kang, and after a few strokes, Da Chen was uneasy and asked loudly to the outhouse: "Er Chen, are you okay?" Erchen replied, "You think that if you set off firecrackers, they will sound at one o'clock, so wait!" After playing a few more games, Da Chen asked again, "Er Chen, are you fast?" Erchen shouted, "I'll add some more coal-fired Wangwang, and it will be good to simmer for a while!" ”
After a while, Da Chen suddenly put down the playing cards in his hand and said to everyone uneasily: "I have to go down and see, Er Chen Tai Er, don't burn the bottom of the pot." Who knew that his voice did not fall, he heard a muffled sound from the outhouse, the people on the kang were too late to put on their shoes, jumped off the kang and rushed to the outhouse to take a look, bad! A white expanse of water vapor, mixed with a pungent scorched smell, until the water vapor dissipated, everyone saw Er Chen's small face black and white, like the three-flowered clown in the circus standing stupidly in front of the stove. Da Chen looked into the big aluminum basin, and there was a big hole burning at the bottom of the big aluminum basin, and the big pig's head that had been torched fell into the hearth and "squeaked" and was bubbling with flames, burning that big! Da Chen asked, "How did you do it?" Erchen looked at the burnt pig's head in the stove, a silly look! Answer: "No! ”
Everyone, you look at me, I look at you, and then look at Er Chen, and suddenly a burst of laughter broke out, confusing Er Chen's laughter, and someone learned Er Chen's voice and shouted: "Gone! From that day on, a new quip arose in the company: Erchen Ju Pig's Head - gone!
V. Give the dead a pulse
When I first arrived at the second year of work, I took the seventh class to build a house behind the large canteen, and I was nailing the roof to the house. Suddenly someone in the tun shouted, and the old man committed suicide! At that time, the little half of the company's men were running to the tun, and when I arrived, the old scorched head had been carried to the barn. The three outer layers are all people, and I don't know who shouted, hurry up and do artificial respiration! At that time, I was engaged in combat readiness and learned some fur rescue knowledge, so I held Lao Jiao's two arms up and down to move back and forth, and after a while I was sweating and tired.
Just as Liu Jiang was next to me, I said, "Liu Jiang, you come to move his arm, and I will give Lao Jiao a pulse." Liu Jiang took over for a long time and asked me, does the old jiaotou still have a pulse? I said there should be, and Liu Jiang continued to do it. Repeated several times, I don't know who next to me said: "Do you have a good number and see if there is a pulse?" "At that time, everyone watched us do it, and the scene was particularly quiet. At this moment, I felt that the so-called "pulse" was actually the movement on my own finger belly - because the hand of the old jiao was very hard, so the old jiao had a pulse, in fact, the old jiao had long been out of breath. Be bold! At that time, my heart was very weak, and I was my scalp. But then I also had the bragging capital – I gave the dead a pulse many years ago!
6. Unforgettable Chinese New Year
At that time in the Corps, the night before the Spring Festival was the most homesick day in my life, crying as if there were no tears, and my eyes hurt. This time was the longest time I cried in my life (and I didn't want to break the record again). Lying down can not sleep, turning over the cake flapjacks, getting up and lying down, tossing and turning a few times. I simply took out a bunch of family letters, looked at them next to each other, and didn't know when I fell asleep.
It may have been released, crying to the end, sleeping soundly. Kang Ke warmed up, the sky slowly brightened, suddenly felt too hot, can't help but pedal a few times the quilt. yes! Not hot, but hot. It was too late, it was fast, and I immediately stood up, lifted the cotton coat and cotton pants on the quilt, and threw them on the ground. At this time, I saw a foot-high flame rising in the air, and I couldn't help but shout: "It's on fire!" It's on fire.... "I didn't care about putting on my shoes, I looked around, but fortunately there was a basin of water next to me, and I picked up the basin and poured it on the flames."
After a few tears, the fire was extinguished, and I stared blankly at the smoking kang, and then cried for a while! "Bite the hate, bite the hate, bite the hate, don't let the tears hang on the cheeks..." I don't know if it was the nerves that scared out of the disease, I actually hummed the iron plum singing voice, clean up the mess. After careful inspection: the cotton jacket can still be worn, and the cotton pants burn off one leg.
I took a fire stick and picked up my cotton pants, which had only one leg left. He said to himself, his mother's leg, into the hole, all at once into the kang hole. At the moment, there are no pants to wear, scratched my head a few times, there is a way, it is difficult not to pour me, began to rummage through the boxes and cabinets. cough! Improper wording, where there is a cabinet, the fixed assets at that time, just a wooden box. I opened the box and pulled out all my legsed pants, one by one. There are single pants, autumn pants, velvet pants, underwear pants, really happy, and a pair of tweed pants. hey! It was really warm. Well, wash your face, comb your hair, look in the mirror and go to the cafeteria to eat.
7. Special "Cool White Open"
At the end of autumn, after the harvesting and threshing of wheat, he began to be busy with the turning of the wheat field and loading trucks to transport grain. It was almost noon that day, and suddenly seven large trucks carrying grain arrived, some of them with drag buckets.
The truck waiting to load the food honked its horn vigorously, but I didn't find a few people loading the truck. Why? The old workers all went home to eat, and Zhiqing was also on the mouth of the meal. Good gangster pulled four or five people, a simple division of labor, two people on the car palletizing, under the car plus I only four people, can only be a group of two people, "one two three", "one two three" shouted the number to the car to throw the more than 180 pounds of marijuana bags, the voice shouted dumb, even the knees, thighs of the strength are made, the brothers are tired of a thief to die. Fortunately, the seven trucks filled with wheat were finally sent away.
Back in the dormitory, taking off the vest that was soaked with sweat, someone asked me: Where did you get such a big "cow" energy lately? I was thinking about it when the vet came in the door with his meal. "He,' he's been drinking my special cool white lately!" A sentence made me almost spit it out.
Two nights ago, the big accountant invited a few of us to his house for a drink, and after drinking, I fainted and went back to the dormitory to lie down and sleep. Sleeping until midnight, I woke up thirsty, my throat was like a fire, it was uncomfortable, but at this time there was a power outage, I went dark to the shelf where the rice bowl was placed to find water to drink, and I really touched a lunch box without a lid, and there was water inside. Grunt, grunt, drink a few large sips of water, feel that there is still a noise in the lunch box, anyway, can not see, turned his head and fell asleep again. The next day, the vet got out of bed and said loudly, "Broken, who drank the water I boiled the needle yesterday." "I just learned that after he gave the cattle injections, he had to cook the needles every day to disinfect them, and I actually drank the water he boiled the needles as a cold white at night." For this reason, the veterinarian observed me for two days, saw that I did not have a fever, did not have a stomach, work more energetically, and bragged to others: as long as you drink the water he boiled the needle, you can grow "cow" strength. But no one dared to drink his special "cool white open".
Viii. Night raid on Guadi
In the Northern Wilderness of 1971, in addition to frozen pears and frozen persimmons, it was rare to eat fresh fruits, so the watermelon field and melon field every summer became the most exciting and most worrying place for young people. Most of the old men in the company who looked at Guadi were extremely principled and selfless. Whenever you pass by the melon field, you can only look at the tempting watermelons from a distance and swallow the saliva. In fact, the young intellectuals of the various companies of the corps have more or less experienced in "stealing" melons. However, if we want to say that we are the best organized and the most appropriately used tactics, then we must count the night raids on Guadi that our eighteenth company of Beijing "Little Scar Li" did! As for who participated in this "battle", it is not said that they were killed! Because this is "thief of morality."
That day began with surveying the terrain and preparing enough small pieces of earth at the selected sites, and then a detailed division of labor was carried out to determine the location of the assembly after the retreat. At eleven o'clock that night, several people entered their ambush point on time, only to listen to the order of "Little Scar", several people used dirt blocks to concentrate on the melon shed, for a time, the melon people were really frightened, did not know what happened, hid in the shed did not dare to move. At this time, under the cover of "firepower", several other people quickly attacked and went straight to the melon field, no matter how big or small, whether raw or cooked, after filling the melon with a prepared bag in advance, all the people quickly withdrew. At this time, the melon watcher began to look out, only to see that "Little Scar" took a small piece of mud, rubbed it in his hand a few times, and spit on the top, pasted the mud block on the left side of his face, shined a flashlight on his face, and shouted in Tianjin dialect in the direction of the melon shed: "Don't you want to eat a few broken melons?" Well, there is! I'm not afraid of you even telling me!" ”
At the meeting point at the edge of the wheat field, several people devoured and shared the "booty" until one by one, their stomachs were full. Return to the dormitory in batches. This night I don't know whether it was overexcitement or too much melon, basically did not sleep, like a sudden frequent urinary urgency, you come in and out, the door of the dormitory rattled non-stop.
The next day, the company commander came to find Zhang Gengyin, a Tianjin intellectual (because he had a black mole on his face), and coincidentally Zhang Gengyin had gone home to visit his relatives two weeks earlier, but because there was no evidence, the matter could only be resolved.
IX. Deception
Heilongjiang winter is very early, the company eats two meals, the day after dinner is already very dark, because there is no electricity, I sat on the edge of the dormitory, chatting with people, found Ye in the corner of the room, sneakily flipped something from the bag, curiosity, and Yang quietly got behind Ye, faintly saw him take something in a bag, saw us found, he was still quite protective of food, not polite with him, I hugged his back, Yang grabbed the bag of things, Ye mou saw that things have reached Yang's hands, I went over to see, Yang was holding a bag of things, I felt like white sugar, as for? As the saying goes, a thief does not go empty.
I don't know where Yang copied a spoon, that is, the kind of raw aluminum round spoon brought by Shanghai Zhiqing, twice as large as the general spoon, Yang got off the guy, a spoon was stuffed into the mouth, and I, snatched the spoon from Yang's hand and also came for a while, in hindsight think about Yang Spoon into the mouth will not move, it should be very suspicious, but because it is dark, the desire to eat sugar is very strong, not so much, this big spoon into the mouth, before my sense of taste is reflected to the brain, Ye Mou bent over on the side. At the same time, Yang squirted out a mouthful, it was difficult for him to hold on for so long, and when the brain reacted, he felt astringent and numb, deceived, it was laundry detergent, and the leaf was confused and schadenfreude! Yang this king eight, die to die, and pulled a cushion of back. hi! None of this is a good thing.
10. "Saccharin" is put in too much
Everyone has seen the movie "Shangganling" and seen the unbearable hardships of the volunteer soldiers' thirst, but this scene in the Heilongjiang Corps also happens frequently, although it does not reach the level of thirst in "Shangganling", it is enough to make everyone unforgettable. There were also ironic stories during this time.
That night, there was another power outage (blackouts were commonplace in those years, and Erlongshan often had electricity during the day, so as not to delay production.) At night, the group sees that there is no work to do, so it pulls the gate and cuts the electricity, regardless of your spare time electricity needs. Therefore, whenever the lights in the dormitory are extinguished, there will always be a scolding sound that has both the subject, the predicate and the object, but the scolding is helpless, helpless and ineffective, it is just a "bird qi" in the hearts of the young children. ）。 We were preparing to make a bed under the "illumination" of a small homemade oil lamp (lighting a candle at the beginning of that year was a luxury, a candle was enough for a meal), at this time, Jxx, the Double Duck Mountain Zhiqing of the next machine row, broke in, looking around and shouting: "Is there any water?" Thirst kills me! "When he saw that the rice bowls and lunch boxes on the basin shelves were all empty and most of them had not been brushed (there were no warm water bottles in the men's dormitory that year, because in the era when more than 20 people shared two washbasins, you bought a warm water bottle and even got angry), and then he was not dead hearted, and he pedaled on the edge of the bed in the lower bunk to look up. Coincidentally, just not far from him there was a military kettle, which was a personal item brought by Beijing Zhiqing Yxx from home, Jxx picked up the kettle and shook it, found that there was less than half a pot of water inside, and he was overjoyed that he could not care about saying hello to the owner of the water, mouth to mouth to the spout of the neck is a big mouthful, according to the current posture of drinking beer, that bite less to say more than two or two.
Just when he was about to pour all the remaining water into his mouth, he found that the water taste was not right, a little bitter and a little astringent, and just when he was hesitating, another Zhiqing in our house grabbed the kettle and took a sip, and after drinking it, he also said: "What does this water taste like?" It may be that the saccharin is put in too much. At that time, Zhiqing rarely bought noodle candy, and if he wanted to drink some sweet water and sweet porridge, he put a little saccharin and was addicted. The others saw that both of them said that the water was not good, of course, they did not drink to the extent of "Shangganling", and the kettle was put back where it was and no one moved.
The next day I learned that the kettle was the "night pot" used by Beijing Zhiqing Yxx to solve the emergency at night, and it had not been poured out the day before, and he happened not to be in the house that night, causing two Zhiqing who had drunk "that water" to cry bitterly. This move of theirs made all the young people in the dormitory grow "memory".
Source: Zhiqing Love Affair