Bi Lingfeng/Wen
"Binding Love" is a long novel completed by Ji Zhenjie in 2018, and it took several drafts before it was completed.
This work explores an unusual parent-child relationship. The father felt guilty about his mother's death, poured all his love into his daughter, and even sacrificed his own happiness - he did not remarry for many years, suppressing feelings for his first love.
Such unconditional efforts make the daughter feel suffocated, the daughter's life development is constrained, and the love has to be sneaky.
"Binding love", as the name suggests, is the harmonic sound of "father's love". The father's love is a little heavy, but it must be endured and become the shackles of the heroine Zhao Shiting.
Everything revolves around this distorted father-daughter relationship, what kind of ulterior secrets are hidden behind the father's excessive concern for his daughter? The feelings of first love, the temptation of emotion, the guilt and redemption in the heart, torment the souls of the father and daughter.
Is it to accept such a father with flaws and shadows, or to choose an attitude of understanding and tolerance?
At the beginning of the novel, at the memorial service of Zhao Shiting's mother, her father behaves abnormally. During the whole process, the father did not shed a single tear.
It is said that "the daughter is the father's little cotton jacket, the lover of the past life", perhaps this sentence does not apply to the father and daughter in the novel. Zhao Shiting, in her bones, hates this middle-aged man who points fingers at every turn.
Her unparalleled status in her father's mind became the nightmare of her future life. Such a seemingly harmonious relationship actually suppresses the true thoughts of both sides.
Zhao Shiting's obedience to her father is by no means from the heart, but under the pressure of strong morality and ethics, she has to restrain her rebellious psychology;
The father's love for his daughter is also not so pure, mixed with guilt for his deceased wife. The more he loved his daughter, the less guilt he felt.
Such a distorted father-daughter relationship is bound to have a negative impact on Zhao Shiting and her father's future.
Entering the university, Zhao Shiting finally temporarily left her father's control. Like Milan Kundera's life being unbearablely light, she felt that her spiritual pillar was gone, and her whole body was suspended in the air.
Just in the "strange picture box" on the street, Zhao Shiting once again met Chen Boyu, who had a crush many years ago.
The inspiration for "Strange Picture Box" came from a trip abroad by Chen Boyu. He sat in a closed box, and the participants were outside, painting portraits for free to everyone. This gives him a sense of security in his creation and satisfies the curiosity of his participants.
Seeing that love was about to come, Zhao Shiting hesitated again. There is a transparent veil between her and Chen Boyu, and the relationship between the two is progressing slowly.
Chen Boyu was a little discouraged and took the initiative to tell Zhao Shiting about his experience. In order to paint his dreams, he did not hesitate to give up the teaching work arranged for him by his mother. The day after Chen Boyu refused his mother, he left his purgatory home.
He and two buddies started a painting studio, and after the failure of the business, they lost their girlfriend who had been in love for three years. His life was once again in turmoil, and the money he earned from painting was only enough to maintain his daily expenses.
Chen Boyu was afraid to delay the girl and let her suffer with herself. The two have similar circumstances, Zhao Shiting put down the mustard and is willing to follow him through this period of hard life.
Zhao Shiting still had concerns in her heart. Chen Boyu did not have a serious job, and she did not dare to have this relationship with her father.
Chen Boyu's relationship with his mother seems to be a dead knot that is difficult to unravel. Even if his mother was on the verge of death, Chen Boyu still did not want to see him. Hearing that his mother was borrowing the hand of others to support himself, Chen Boyu not only did not appreciate Zero, but fell into self-blame.
Chen Boyu left Zhao Shiting. Zhao Shiting spent a lot of effort looking for him, but found nothing.
Zhao Shiting's love affair with Chen Boyu has always been shrouded in the haze brought by her father. Zhao Shiting hesitated, stemming from her family environment. She did not dare to take the initiative to love, and this hesitation led to the imperfect result of the relationship.
My father was also very depressed.
Everything for the sake of her daughter has become the habitual thinking of Zhao Shiting's father. Even if the daughter is past the age of needing to be taken care of, the father is still unwilling to pursue his own happiness.
This repression is touching, and in fact has an element of selfishness. He didn't care about his daughter's feelings at all, this love was too heavy, so heavy that it was depressed, so that Zhao Shiting didn't know how to repay and repay.
After that, Zhao Shiting's father learned that Li Jing was seriously ill. Within a month, his father frequently went to take care of Li Jing. At the juncture of whether or not to undergo surgery, Li Jing disappeared.
The old lady next door said she had followed a few strangers a few days earlier.
According to the old lady, Aunt Li Jing was very cooperative with each other subjectively, which did not fit the characteristics of the kidnapping case. If the old lady had witnessed it with her own eyes, could the gangsters have let her go so easily?
Another possibility is that acquaintances are committing crimes, but the old lady does not know these people and mistakes them for strangers. They tricked Aunt Li Jing out of the house and detained her in a place unknown to ordinary people.
What are they doing this for? Seeking wealth and revenge? Or some other motivation?
His father reported the crime, and the police told him not to mix it up. The situation is becoming more and more confusing.
Li Jing is involved in a very important case, and she cannot escape the punishment of the law. She is seriously ill, can she survive until the day she is released from prison and reunited with Zhao Shiting's father?
Perhaps most parents will make similar choices to Zhao Shiting's father. Children are more important than their own happiness.
The consequences of this will bring emotional blackmail to the children. Parents will think so, I have made such a great sacrifice for you, can you still not listen to me? If the children are disobedient, they will take the matter out.
The emotional blackmail brought about by the suppression of one's own happiness will also cause a distorted parent-child relationship. Parents and children should essentially be individuals who are independent and respectful of each other, and the right to freedom of choice is exchanged for the hands of the child, and both parents and children can reap happiness.
I didn't want the whole work to be heavy. Through the change of Attitude towards Li Jing, the relationship between Zhao Shiting and her father is also undergoing subtle changes.
Zhao Shiting was anxious to get rid of her father at first, and after working, she felt that it was not easy to make a living, and she gradually understood her father, hoping that she would bring happiness to her father's later life.
Since moving out to live, she has had to wait a while before she could come home. Every time I came back, I saw that the room was a bit messy. She realized that her father was not lazy when he did not clean the room, but that he was less likely to clean. No one came to him to communicate with him, so why make the house look like it?
Zhao Shiting smelled a strong smell of Chinese medicine again. The smell of Chinese medicine appeared at home more than once, and Zhao Shiting became more and more uneasy about his body. But the father still pushed that it was just an old mistake.
The father is so "sensible" because he does not want to add a burden to his daughter. The more he did this, the more Zhao Shiting felt in her heart.
A flying disaster, Zhao Shiting was admitted to the hospital. During her recuperation, Zhao Shiting said to her father: "No! I'm going to be a kid who doesn't grow up. ”
The father replied to her: "Silly child, in your father's eyes, you will always be a child who does not grow up." ”
The father and daughter seem to have reconciled.
The reconciliation between father and daughter is doomed to unpredictable twists and turns. The secrets unlocked by this meeting cast a shadow over reconciliation.
Li Jing was involved in a major economic crime case and left a letter to Zhao Shiting's father before going to prison.
Li Jing also proposed a "five-year covenant" to Zhao Shiting's father. Five years later, she didn't leave this world and wanted to meet Zhao Shiting's father at the seaside on their first date.
In a subsequent letter, Li Jing mentioned the horror before she was arrested and the relief after her arrest.
She felt like a fish, always thinking that the world beyond the surface of the water was very beautiful, thinking that the water that had been with her for many days had imprisoned her wonderful life. It wasn't until he got rid of the shackles of the water and fluttered on the beach in stripes that he realized he was wrong.
Whether in prison or free, she will accept it with an inclusive attitude. Everyone lives in a cage that cannot be seen or touched, constructed by desire and excessive attachment.
Unable to get out of these obsessions, you can only endure the prison of this life forever. She let go of those undeserved desires, in fact, she had long since ceased to serve her sentence. This notice of commutation is only a legal declaration of her return.
Finally arrived at the day of meeting at the beach, Zhao Shiting met Chen Boyu, who had been missing for many days on the beach.
Li Jing told Chen Boyu's unknown life, and Chen Boyu no longer remembered his mother.
She also told the truth about not marrying Zhao Shiting's father. Not because Li Jing's parents strongly opposed, they only acted as scapegoats, but because Li Jing herself. It was this difference in thought that led to a change in the fate of herself, Zhao Shiting's father and daughter, and Chen Boyu.
Under tremendous pressure, Zhao Shiting's father told the truth about the death of Zhao Shiting's mother. His wife's death was inseparable from him, and he did not dare to face the portrait of his wife, those seemingly soft eyes, seeing through the darkest parts of his body.
Her father's human set up collapsed, can Zhao Shiting accept this somewhat strange man?
Ji Zhenjie is a contracted writer of Shanghai Literature and Art Network, and the creation of "Binding Love" is a turning point in his novel. Previously, several of his works belonged to the works of youth romance, and this novel confronted the problem of family ethics and was more realistic.
He once mentioned that in the process of chatting with peers, he felt that many people had a very general relationship with their parents, and there were many misunderstandings and contradictions between parents and children. Should such misunderstandings and contradictions accompany us throughout our lives?
Many Chinese parents interfere in their children's lives in the name of their children's good, while sacrificing their own happiness, and their children show resistance to these interferences, some directly collide with their parents, becoming problem teenagers in the eyes of everyone, while most people secretly resist.
As children, we are eager to break free, and finally find that we may not be able to live without our parents, who we once bored and hated, and this feeling will be epiphany in an instant, and become more and more intense as we get older. Parents are always like this sea of all-inclusiveness, waiting for our return.
Yes, we should have accepted imperfect parents long ago, don't let this moment come too late!
About the Author:
Bi Lingfeng, a young Chinese writer, scholar, director, and one of the representative figures of the Chinese mainland "post-80s" writer group, the chief editor of Shanghai Literature and Art Network, the secretary general of Shanghai Popular Literature and Art Research Association, the supervisor of Shanghai Science and Technology Film and Television Collaborative Innovation Center, the director of Shanghai Songjiang District Literary and Art Circles Federation, the secretary general of Shanghai Songjiang District Film and Television Artists Association, the entrepreneurial instructor of Jiangxi Science and Technology University Entrepreneurship Park, and the executive director of Songjiang District Science and Technology Film and Television Culture Incubation Park.
Source: Shanghai Literature and Art Network