If the child does not have secrets, then the child can never grow up

The image comes from the Internet

(i)

Whether or not the child can have his own secrets, whether the parents should interfere in all the living space of the child, many parents have their own paranoia on this issue.

He is my child, so I should know everything, his actions, thoughts, I should know everything.

If not, you will feel that you have failed, have not fulfilled your obligations as a parent, and have not received the authority that belongs to your parents.

This is a very terrible logic, as a guardian, you must fully understand everything about the child, the so-called pathology, but so.

It is an undeniable fact that parents give their children life, but that does not mean that parents can deprive their children of their right to have secrets.

Everyone is an independent individual, has their own little secrets, and not as a parent has the right to let children present everything they have.

Parents may get the thrill of power, but children are deeply hurt.

(ii)

The growth of children is the rise and development of their own personality, and they will slowly have their own thoughts, their own logic, and their own little secrets.

This is not a harmful phenomenon, there is no reason for parents to be anxious, on the contrary, it should be fortunate that children have their own ideas and grow up step by step.

Parents treat their children as private property, and peel off all the covers layer by layer, which is a naked harm to the children.

Small emotions, little secrets, being seen through by parents, and then treated in a funny or critical tone, is actually a very painful thing.

As a child, loving parents and accepting their parents' love is a benign relationship interaction, but when parents deprive secrets, in the eyes of children, they are no different from robbers.

The child's world is pure, not filled with too many material desires, and all the secrets are precious treasures in their eyes, which need to be hidden as their own intangible assets.

After being ruthlessly exposed by parents, psychological trauma will naturally form.

(iii)

As an adult, there are also their own secrets, which is an undeniable fact, since it is a secret, naturally do not want others to know, whether happy or sad, sometimes, some things, only need to know themselves, without the participation of others.

After the secret is exposed, adults will have angry emotions, and the same is true for children, and they will see the secret more importantly, and the deeper the inner trauma.

Parents need to consider from the perspective of the child, and can not just think that the child is their own, so they cannot hide from themselves, can not hide.

Qualified parents will create a superior environment for their children, and will also give their children independent space, rather than monitoring and depriving their children of their freedom.

(iv)

From another dimension, secrets are the growth link, and children without secrets are difficult to really grow up.

There is a secret, itself is the embodiment of the child's own ideas, this is the growth process must go through the thing, whether it is an event or emotion, he must slowly learn to accept and deal with, rather than relying on the strength of the parents, after such a time, he may have a great change.

Parents need to care about their children, but they must have a certain strategy, not a rough blow and unreasonable insults, giving children the possibility of growing freely, which is the best encouragement and reward for him.

Children who are raised by their parents have natural defects, no opinion, dependence, and indecision, because in the process of growing up, the private sphere is broken, the self-awareness is disturbed, and a flawed character is naturally formed.

Naturally grown children will not lack the care of their parents, but, relatively speaking, their parents will give him comfortable freedom, let him have his own ideas, his own consciousness, and consciously cultivate his ability to deal with things.

Guidance and control will inevitably lead to different results.

(5)

Children will distinguish between high and low, excluding unchangeable natural factors, and the gap between parents will play a very important role.

The first thing to do when comparing parents to their children is to look at the different ways of education between themselves and other parents.

The growth of children needs to be based on themselves, and what parents need to do is to correct, not strictly control.

Children without secrets, without real opportunities to grow, no matter what reasons parents have, is a relative tragedy for children.

36.5° I want to give you a boiling point of 100 °.

The article was first published on the WeChat public account: Shijiuriji, I am waiting for you there.