An excellent sleep consultant, combining the theoretical basis and the knowledge update reserve with the times, formulating personalized adjustment plans for different babies and different families and maintaining the ability and emotional intelligence of moms who keep track and respond flexibly to various situations to cope with different personalities and temperaments, the serious responsibility for the baby, the trust of the mother, the supervision and guidance of the mother (the word guided execution is invented by me immediately, especially the execution of the consultant when the mother is slack, and urges the mother to stick to it, That is to say, the main body of this execution is the consultant).
Putting aside the above, when dealing with your child's sleep problems, mastering the balance between the instinctive sensibility of maternal love and the rationality of the sleep counselor and making the most reasonable response is the most test of the counselor's skills.
A month ago, my daughter had one of the most common sleep problems of all children – waking up at night. Because the case is too typical, I can't wait to share it with you and tell you through my hands-on experience - how to deal with it in the face of night wake-up.
I have something to say
In fact, I would like to say that the problem of sleep is actually very similar. Although the treatment method will never be standardized due to the difference in the baby's spleen, the treatment principles are actually the same. Many mothers always blame their baby's temper for not sleeping well, but in fact, it seems to me that it is also biased.
It is true that each baby's need for the mother's comfort is different, and will show different degrees of crying and resistance, but parents should still be in line with the principle of "soothing emotions, but adhering to sleep rules" in the face of the baby's needs, in order to avoid more sleep problems and bad habits that should have been avoided by the child to the greatest extent.
The children of the sleep counselor are no different from all the children of the mothers. There will be all kinds of sleep problems and various unexpected situations, because the child can never be electronic and programmed, he is a person with emotions and emotions. However, what sleep counselors can do is that when a child has sleep problems, we can judge the child's needs in time and make reasonable and not excessive comfort, and coax the baby to sleep in time to maintain the quality of the baby's sleep.
For example, my daughter, even if she falls asleep on her own, there will be various situations, waking up in the middle of the night, waking up from dreams, teething, sleeping too much during the day and causing her to get up in the middle of the night, etc., but because I understand the reasons behind these problems, I also understand what I should do and what I should not do, so she can usually fall asleep again quickly, of course, this is inseparable from her ability to fall asleep.
I know that there will be mothers who will question: "That's your child's character angel." But in fact, the child's personality determines whether the child is easy to appease, but the parent's handling method determines whether the child's sleep habits, schedules and rules can be successfully established, because the child who is re-allowed to be comforted will also have various sleep problems and various behaviors that test the rules.
Night awakening description
As is customary, the message describing the baby – that is, my daughter. 2 years old and 5 months old, since 4 months, he has been asleep regularly and spontaneously, and has been divided into rooms and beds. Sleep routines: bathing, storytelling, holding dolls, going to bed, covering her with a scarf (wearing a sleeping bag, but used to put a scarf on her before going to bed), and recently adding a new bedtime habit - she would turn on the fire rabbit and listen to music after her parents left the room.
At four o'clock in the morning that day, Meng Meng suddenly woke up and made a sharp cry. Obviously, this is not normal for Meng Meng, who always wakes up at seven o'clock on time and happily calls out to his parents.
Why am I emphasizing this? Look down.
The little assistant comes on
My teammate, Mengmeng her father, is also the main player in our family with a baby, since Mengmeng cultivated to sleep, under my words and deeds, learned a lot of sleep problems to deal with skills, in The sleep of Mengmeng, he has been handy. How to arrange for falling asleep, under what circumstances to fall asleep early, and adhere to bedtime procedures and rules, etc., he has handled them very well.
But unexpectedly, after this early awakening incident, I found that I still overestimated him. Or rather, I also underestimated the power of professionalism. After all, he had not received professional training, and what he had done in his misty sleep was only the most basic sleep foundation, but in the event of an accident, he was still as confused as most mothers, and even made the lowest mistake.
Before I could hear what Mengmeng was asking for, my teammates rushed into The Misty room as fast as I could react, and asked Mongmeng worriedly, "What's wrong?" Meng Meng said to hug, teammates said is it thirsty? Then went out to get a cup of water and came back, Mengmeng cried even louder because her father did not pick her up in time, and threw the cup of water that her father handed her to the ground and lost her temper, shouting for a hug. Dad picked her up.
At this time, Meng Meng saw His Father's face through the light of the humidifier and looked at Him. So the teammates subconsciously immediately turned off the light of the humidifier, and Mengmeng immediately burst into tears and asked his father to turn on the light. "Turn on the lights, turn on the lights!"
The teammates were momentarily soft and turned on the lights. (vomiting blood)
The mist is completely spiritual. Calmed down. The two looked at each other with affection... After a few minutes, the teammate tried to put it on the bed and said, "Sleep." ”
Meng Meng hugged his teammate tightly and cried, "No, I don't want to sleep." I want to read books, watch Qiao Hu! ”
The teammates compromised again, and the two sat down on the floor of the room and happily began to tell the storybook. (Vomiting blood again)
Someone asked, "Is there a problem with this?" As long as the child does not make trouble, and does not let you coax it? “
Of course there are problems!
Knock on the blackboard: "Excessive fatigue will lead to the baby's lack of energy during the day, irritability, clinginess, tantrums, difficult to soothe, if there is no condition to supplement sleep in time, then it is likely to affect the state of the day." "You know, Mengmeng still has to go to the nursery, and the lunch time of the nursery is 12 noon. If she doesn't sleep well now, she will definitely not last until 12 o'clock, then she may appear in class crying or asking the teacher for a hug, after all, it is not at home, I will be very worried about her state, and may affect the afternoon nap.
The big guy came on
So, I rushed into the Mongmeng room in a huff, well, the two of them were reading the picture book with great dedication, and what a harmonious and loving picture, I almost gave up the struggle. But as a professional counselor, reason reminds me that the right decision should be made.
I threw my teammates out of the room, picked up The Mist, and told her, "It's bedtime, we should sleep." Misty cried out, "I don't want to sleep, I don't want to sleep!" ”
I turned off the light, and she let out an even stronger roar: "Don't turn off the lights!" I don't want to sleep! Mom turned on the lights! I didn't satisfy her, just quietly hugged her, leaned her head against me, and then gently reassured: "You don't want to sleep, do you?" ”
She whimpered and nodded, "Well, I don't want to sleep. ”
I said, "But it's bedtime, it's still dark outside, mom is sleepy, you have to go to school in the morning, let's sleep a little longer." ”
She still resisted: "I don't want to sleep!" ”
By this time, I was no longer talking. Just hold her. When she had finished venting her emotions, she slowly calmed down, and when she was tired again under the impetus of the night, when I felt that she was obviously getting quieter, I put her on the small bed, she understood that she was going to sleep, and reminded me: "Mom, cover the quilt." I said okay.
Then he reminded me, "Mom, the fire rabbit is out of power." I said okay, Mom go recharge.
Then he said goodbye to me and rolled over to sleep.
Reason for waking up at night
The reasons for her waking up at night were all due to teething.
From an early age, Monty was unusually sensitive to teething. Many sleep predecessors on the impact of teething on sleep are only understated, and even do not think that teething really affect sleep, but the god of sleep is really not afraid of fear of teething, teething is really her death hole, from a small tooth will appear sticky, hanging on the body, intermittent sudden crying, before falling asleep must howl, cycle wake up, night howl, every time as long as these phenomena appear to open the mouth a glance, absolutely see the tip of the white teeth, there is no exception. Now after the long assembly speaks, the teeth will cry and point to the mouth and say that it hurts.
Therefore, the sensitive points of each child are different, and there is no baby who cannot be stabbed.
Analysis of night awake behavior
Back to the above, now you understand why I want to emphasize that Mongmeng turned on the Fire Rabbit when he recently fell asleep?
I've told you more than once that any fall asleep dependence that prevents the falling asleep environment (falling asleep means falling asleep, falling asleep, falling asleep) may cause your child to rely on the same way of falling asleep again when a fully awake night wakes up.
For example, hugging sleep, milk sleep, pacifier sleep, cart coaxing, shaking sleep, etc. The way of falling asleep is not the direct cause of periodic wake-up and night-wake-up, but why the counselor usually does not recommend that everyone sleep with sleeping milk, in addition to the mother's physical and mental endurance considerations, but also because in other factors caused by the child's night awakening, he needs to reproduce the way of falling asleep before he can continue to fall asleep, which is the consistency of the sleeping environment.
Yes, that's right, when You Fall Asleep, you will turn on the Fire Rabbit to listen to music, and when you wake up at night and can't sleep until you are fully awake, you will try to turn on the Fire Rabbit again. There was a night wake-up a few days ago, she opened the fire rabbit and listened to it for about 1 hour, and did not call us. She knows very well that even if she wakes up her mother, her teeth will still hurt... But when she's fully awake, she'll go back to looking for sleep comfort—to turn on the fire rabbit.
And today, the reason why she called us is because she woke up, couldn't sleep, tried to fire the fire rabbit, but found that the fire rabbit was out of power. So she cried, first to seek higher comfort, and second, to let us recharge her batteries. In fact, if the teammates did not respond so quickly, MengMeng could continue to try to soothe herself and fall asleep, after all, she had the ability to fall asleep on her own.
As for whether this sleep dependence needs to be quit or not, it is a matter of opinion, and the sleep rules of each family are also different.
And my approach is that I wouldn't forbid her to take the fire rabbit before going to bed. The next day, before going to bed, I righteously told Mengmeng: "You can listen to the fire rabbit for a while when you sleep, but when you want to sleep, remember to turn off the fire rabbit and then sleep, because listening to music is not good for hearing, and the fire rabbit also needs to sleep." She listened very carefully, although it was not yet fully achieved, but she now understood the consciousness of "listening to music before going to bed, not listening when sleeping", but it still needs a process to execute.
I would like to emphasize the main point
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="90" >1 What does a baby say when she says, "I don't sleep</h1>."
Dear mothers, the old talk about a sleep principle!
"The baby cries as soon as he falls asleep, is he not sleepy?" Of course not. When the baby cries and resists when he is sleeping, it shows that the baby is really sleepy, really needs to sleep, not not sleepy. The reason for crying is often because the baby can't sleep for some reasons, such as the baby's limited ability to fall asleep due to sleep dependence, excessive fatigue, etc., the big baby can't sleep due to physiological reasons, and the playful childhood will also show the resistance of "I don't want to sleep", and the baby's crying is often caused by the sleep pressure generated by the interaction between the sleep drive and the awakening drive.
And why, when Mongmeng cries out, "I don't want to sleep," I am more determined that she needs sleep.
Because, if she's really not sleepy, she really doesn't want to sleep, she doesn't cry, she doesn't have this kind of performance that seems a little bit broken and a little out of control. If she is really not sleepy, she will also resist sleeping, but that resistance is relatively calm and active.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="96" >2 Night wake-up processing, be sure to avoid excessive interference</h1>
In the whole night, there is any night awakening unless the serious situation, try to avoid turning on the lights, eye contact, teasing and other interference behaviors, easy to cause the baby to wake up completely, will increase the difficulty of re-falling asleep, especially for babies who do not have the ability to fall asleep on their own; to try to maintain the sleeping atmosphere, for the baby who sleeps with the baby, sometimes the baby wakes up at night to see that the parents are sleeping so deeply, and it is easy for them to continue to sleep.
Sleep is like sneezing, and it is also contagious. Why the mother sleeps well and the baby sleeps better, that is, this is the truth.
And the teammates not only turn on the lights, but also tell the story.
I want to give my teammates a "Good Father of China" medal.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="103" >3 Why does Mengmeng propose "I want to read a book"</h1>
Why does Mengmeng ask "I want to read a book" in the middle of the night?
Come, looking back, what are those sleep signals that you didn't know?
Talk about the sleep-jerking signals that are easy to miss by the mother
Yes, that's right. When your baby is overly tired because he can't sleep, he will show the behavior of "wanting to do something he likes to calm himself down", which is also a self-soothing behavior. Therefore, the way that Meng Meng showed to ask for comfort was to find the fire rabbit, to hug His father, and to read the storybook.
Found no, appeasement needs in the upgrade... There is nothing inherently wrong with upgrading the pacifier, but the problem is that pacifiing without setting limits can affect falling asleep. Therefore, when calming emotions, it is necessary to combine the first "reduce distractions" at the same time, which is why I insist on turning off the lights and holding her in the dark to soothe her.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="111" >4 It's important to soothe emotions</h1>
Many moms are often confused by a question:
"It is said that do not interfere excessively when waking up at night, and it is said that you should not ignore the needs of the baby, so under what circumstances can you appease, and under what circumstances is it not recommended to come forward?"
Quite simply, there's a rule in mind – don't be stingy about soothing emotions, but control sleep-bogging behavior. That is to say, when the baby's emotions are very intense, too excited, angry, sad, lost, etc., will lead to the baby's difficulty falling asleep. Because calm is a prerequisite for falling asleep. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to calm the baby's emotions as soon as possible. However, remember that the purpose of our reassurance is to calm the baby down as soon as possible, not to put it to sleep. That is to say, when the baby's mood gradually calms down, it is still necessary to adhere to the original way of falling asleep or the current mode of adjustment of sleep behavior to let the baby fall asleep, and it is not recommended to directly put the baby to sleep when calming the emotions.
For example, babies who fall asleep on their own should be put back into bed in time after calming down; babies during the adjustment of falling asleep behavior still adhere to the current sleep training progress implementation plan after hugging and soothing calm (such as sleeping on the bed, they should be put on the bed to pat instead of hugging until they fall asleep).
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="117" >5 It is normal to wake up at night, and the three principles are king</h1>
As mentioned above, there is no baby who does not wake up at night, and the difference is only between being able to sleep in the past and not being able to sleep.
Waking up at night is a normal thing, and there will always be various factors that affect sleep. The most important thing is how parents cope and how to avoid habitual sleep problems.
1. Wait a few moments, listen to the cries, and then make a decision
When waking up at night, parents can try to wait for a moment, especially for small month-old babies, in the rapid eye movement period the baby will find a lot of strange sounds and movements, in fact, not awake, parents without judgment directly pick up may really lead to the baby awake, some parents will even directly feed, it will be easy to produce fixed night milk, then you really have to get up and sleep;
2. Check the cause and respond to the demand
After determining that the baby wakes up at night and seems unable to fall asleep on its own, then it is necessary to check physiological and environmental factors in time and respond to the needs correctly; such as hunger and thirst, cold, warm, dry and wet;
3. After solving the problem, immediately put to sleep
After responding to the needs, it is necessary to coax the baby to sleep in time, even if the baby cries and resists, it is also necessary to insist on coaxing to sleep and cultivate the continuity of the baby's night sleep. Instead of taking the baby out of the room to play in order to avoid the baby crying, this will aggravate the baby's night wake-up problem, and in the long run, it will even produce serious problems such as work and rest confusion.