If you can't talk, I suggest you read this article, read it a few times, it will definitely help you! Overcome psychological obstacles and endure for a lifetime.
I have a friend, he is introverted, not good at talking, does not know what to say when communicating with people, always feels very embarrassed, sometimes people look anxious, especially when there is a cold field, there will be a feeling of panic, sweating on the head, uncomfortable. He would frantically search for topics, eager to say something, and often end up jumping out of a few sentences and then his mind blank. He was also troubled by the fact that he could not speak, and he was envious when he saw others talking and talking hotly.
Of course, this friend also tried to change, wanted to get out of this predicament, but tried many ways, not only did not have any effect, the situation is getting worse and worse. He was so anxious, didn't know what to do, and had nowhere to vent, so that his mood was getting worse and worse. Looking at those who have a lot of friends, he is very envious and wants to live like that, but the barrier of "talking" hinders him.
Speaking is one of the most basic skills of people, as long as they are not dumb, they can speak. In life, there are often some people who can speak the Tao, talk endlessly, and the witty words are continuous, which makes people laugh. Some people, like my friends, can't talk, communicate with people uncomfortable, awkward, and he himself is very nervous.
Why is this happening?
From a psychological point of view, the main reason for people who cannot speak is not because of poor eloquence, but because of serious psychological disorders, especially low self-esteem and low self-evaluation. They lack self-confidence and always care about what others think and evaluate. When exposed to the situation in which they are talking, they are always afraid of saying the wrong thing, that they will be given a negative evaluation, and that they will appear to be blushing, shaking, sweating, stuttering, and being laughed at by others. As a result, this fear exacerbates the barrier to speaking, leading to a deeper inability to speak, thus forming a vicious circle.
Those who can talk, who can always talk, are often very confident people, and they will never be inferior. They don't care too much about what others think, they believe they're right and express themselves firmly. "Go your own way and let others say it." is their motto. How to say exactly what they mean is the focus of their attention, not what others will say.
Not being able to speak creates a huge barrier to interpersonal communication, daily life and work. Therefore, we must find ways to overcome this psychological obstacle and return ourselves to normal communication. The following three methods are what I shared with the friend above, the effect is very good, and it is also recommended for those who can't speak.
First, in the process of talking to people, we need to focus more on others than on ourselves. If we stop thinking about "Doesn't what I say resent him?" and "Do I look nervous," we will naturally stop worrying about how we can be perfect in conversation. In fact, others often don't care too much about whether we are nervous or not, because they don't pay attention to themselves as much as we do. No one is "perfect" in the process of talking to people, and there is no such standard of perfection, so we don't need to pay too much attention to the emotional performance of our own speech, and focusing on the conversation itself is the focus.
Second, look for our "anxiety triggers" when we speak. That is to say, to find out in which scenes we will be more likely to feel anxious, more likely to be unable to speak, to say bad words, at this time, what are we thinking. These trigger points are then analyzed to summarize some positive experiences. The next time we can't speak, we can recall these positive experiences and gradually weaken the psychological disorder.
Finally, be fully prepared to speak in advance. People tend to be calm and not nervous when they are confident. In fact, the same is true of speech, if we are fully prepared to speak, know how to say, what to say, then we will not feel nervous and anxious. For example, before participating in a social event, you can try to understand as much as possible about the composition of the activity and the theme of the activity, and prepare more topics that should be used for the occasion, so that when you talk to others, you often don't have to worry about having nothing to say.