Bad essays are generally the same, and good essays are different. Some people shock readers with their full reading of poetry books, some articles touch people's hearts with a sense of truth, and good articles actually have ways to follow.
Today, I would like to share an essay with a full score in the middle school entrance examination in a city in Shandong Province, "Returning to Hometown". On a certain platform, this article has gained a lot of attention and recognition for several years, and some readers have looked at it and cried.
This is an article full of true feelings, the language is simple, the story is simple, but it can resonate with people, in terms of writing, what is worth learning from it?
First, tell the story around the center.
Narrative is storytelling, to tell stories around the center, and related to the center to know where should be written in detail and where should be omitted, and those that have nothing to do with the center should be omitted.
The central event of this article is to return to the hometown to visit grandpa, and the central idea is that family affection should not change with the change of external conditions such as time and place. The part of writing that my mother advised "me" to visit my grandfather is simply like gold, using only one sentence "he misses you a little"; all the content behind is part of "visiting my grandfather", which is an important content, but there are also details, "embark on the road home" slightly, "meet grandpa" details, "from embarrassment to getting along and harmonious" details. In this way, the branches and trunk are clearly divided, and the joints of the trunk are also particularly distinct, which is very good.
Second, grasp the details.
Those classic works, without exception, have wonderful details. In "Kong Yiji", Kong Yiji "lined" the nine large sums of money one by one when buying wine, and an action highlighted his poor acidity; in "Back Shadow", the father climbed up to the platform to buy oranges for Zhu Ziqing with both hands to "climb" on it, and then "shrunk" up with both feet, and the two verbs were particularly in line with the father's age and fat body.
There are a few details in this article that are also eye-catching. For example, the mother at the beginning carefully asked, indicating that "I" has always refused to go to the countryside; when Grandpa first saw "me", the performance was "Nene, asked twice, stared at me, and stood cramped and joyful to urge me to sit", which was particularly in line with actual life, and also wrote about a country old man who finally saw his grandson and was happy and helpless.
Also, the beginning is concise and clear.
Most narratives use flashbacks, and this article is a narrative narrative. At the beginning, the story begins, and soon, the protagonist appears, without wasting a little pen and ink, and also uses the technique of wanting to promote and suppress. In short, the beginning is concise and fresh, and it also makes the article twisty and turny, which is great.
There are also many praiseworthy places in the article, such as the integration of narrative, discussion, and lyricism, the expression of simplicity and nature, and the flow of clouds and water, and so on. A reader said that this article is "touching, the writing is not very gorgeous, but the emotion is sincere and moving", what do you think?
There's just one thing that's a little abrupt. When Grandpa asked "I" if I could also look at the contents on the phone, I felt a surge of "sour" in my heart at that time, at this time with "sour" a bit too much, with "sorry" may be more appropriate, "sour" can be placed in the back of the recall, sublimation.