His Little Wildcat (II)

{"0":{"tag":"","content":"24"},"1":{"tag":"","content":"我走了。"},"2":{"tag":"","content":"我不知道如何面对他。"},"3":{"tag":"","content":"一想到他害死了我的父母，造成了我这些年的惨剧，我就痛到不能呼吸。"},"4":{"tag":"","content":"我恨他，更恨我自己，因为我自己竟然一点也恨不起来他。"},"5":{"tag":"","content":"他可是凶手啊，我却因为自私的感情，从心底恨不起他。"},"6":{"tag":"","content":"我骂自己没出息，骂自己没有底线，骂自己不分黑白，可是我也不知道怎么办。"},"7":{"tag":"","content":"他后来打电话来找我，一直跟我说对不起，我一个字也没回。"},"8":{"tag":"","content":"他应该知道自己的事败露了，才会打电话来承认，可是，那有什么用呢，我和他终于永远也没法在一起了。"},"9":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月，我们的缘分到此为止吧。」我回了他最后一条微信，彻底将他从我人生中删除。"},"10":{"tag":"","content":"「好，楠楠，照顾好自己。」"},"11":{"tag":"","content":"这是我和他最后一次聊天。"},"12":{"tag":"","content":"后来开学，经历了一个寒假的痛苦折磨，我突然性情大变。"},"13":{"tag":"","content":"我开始勾搭不同的男孩子。"},"14":{"tag":"","content":"每天微信聊天都忙得回复不过来，似乎只有这样，我才可以强迫自己忘记那些不愉快。"},"15":{"tag":"","content":"室友好心提醒我不要这样玩火，我仍旧不在意。"},"16":{"tag":"","content":"可是，白天我可以和男生卿卿我我，但到了晚上，我又整夜失眠。"},"17":{"tag":"","content":"我觉得自己病了。"},"18":{"tag":"","content":"我室友不知道从哪里搞到了江肆月的电话，偷偷告诉了他我的近况。"},"19":{"tag":"","content":"于是江肆月开始不厌其烦地来学校找我。"},"20":{"tag":"","content":"我很烦。"},"21":{"tag":"","content":"他总是将车停在寝室楼下，透过那扇窗户看着我。"},"22":{"tag":"","content":"而我总是淡定地从那里路过，从未走过去一次。"},"23":{"tag":"","content":"就像是一场无休止的拉锯战，表面上看起来我好像赢了。"},"24":{"tag":"","content":"以前总是我缠着他，他拒绝我。"},"25":{"tag":"","content":"现在他整天缠着我，我却一次都不给他好脸色看。"},"26":{"tag":"","content":"他也没有后退过，就那么在寝室楼下守着。"},"27":{"tag":"","content":"我曾跟室友开玩笑，「他有本事就守一辈子，看谁坚持到最后。」"},"28":{"tag":"","content":"「最后还是我赢，他熬不过我，毕竟，他比我老。」"},"29":{"tag":"","content":"室友只是担心地看着我，无话可说。"},"30":{"tag":"","content":"我不知道我怎么了。"},"31":{"tag":"","content":"这样下去，我迟早会走上抑郁的道路，只怕熬不到他放弃，我就先疯了。"},"32":{"tag":"","content":"25"},"33":{"tag":"","content":"一个男朋友，确切地说是一个刚被我甩掉的男朋友李飞约我出去玩。"},"34":{"tag":"","content":"我答应了。"},"35":{"tag":"","content":"看，现在的我就是这样，只要有人找我，只要我能有事情做，哪里我都会去。"},"36":{"tag":"","content":"李飞和他的朋友租了一辆车去山顶的滑翔伞俱乐部。"},"37":{"tag":"","content":"玩到晚上，他只开了一间房。"},"38":{"tag":"","content":"我知道他想干什么，我之所以甩了他，就是因为他想我和他睡。"},"39":{"tag":"","content":"我可以亲吻，可以拥抱，但睡是不可能的。"},"40":{"tag":"","content":"所以我甩了他。"},"41":{"tag":"","content":"我当着他朋友的面，自己去开了一间房，他有些磨不开面子，狠狠地盯着我，「不跟我睡，还跑来约会，你什么意思？」"},"42":{"tag":"","content":"「跟你约会就得跟你睡？你把我当成什么？我不过是打发下无聊的时间，怎么，你喜欢用强？」"},"43":{"tag":"","content":"「许楠，这么不给我面子，你确定你不会求我？」"},"44":{"tag":"","content":"「求你？」我笑着道，「做梦。」"},"45":{"tag":"","content":"很快我就知道，他为什么会说那句，你确定不会求我？"},"46":{"tag":"","content":"因为我喝了他递过来的水，此刻在酒店卫生间，浑身无力，全身发烫。"},"47":{"tag":"","content":"我大概查了下，知道自己被他算计了。"},"48":{"tag":"","content":"房卡在他那里，刚才我上厕所，让他在门口给我拿下包。"},"49":{"tag":"","content":"此刻他正站在厕所门口，低声道：「楠楠，出来，乖。」"},"50":{"tag":"","content":"「李飞，你怎么这么卑鄙？」我反锁了厕所门，不让他进来。"},"51":{"tag":"","content":"「卑鄙？楠楠，你总是不让我碰你，你是心理有病，我是帮你克服心理障碍。」"},"52":{"tag":"","content":"「你放屁！」"},"53":{"tag":"","content":"我声音都变得软了。"},"54":{"tag":"","content":"身体很难受，很难受。"},"55":{"tag":"","content":"我不想跟他废话。"},"56":{"tag":"","content":"打开水龙头，一直用冷水冲着自己，可是冷到发抖，难受却一点都没消减。"},"57":{"tag":"","content":"他开始在外面踹门。"},"58":{"tag":"","content":"我第一次感到了恐惧。"},"59":{"tag":"","content":"我捏着手机犹豫了好一会，才给江肆月打了电话。"},"60":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月。」我用微弱的声音喊着他的名字。"},"61":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠……」他有些紧张，大概是听到我声音不对，着急地问，「你在哪？」"},"62":{"tag":"","content":"「我不知道。」我脑袋已经开始晕了，有些不能思考。"},"63":{"tag":"","content":"「发个实时定位给我，别关机。」我听到他那边汽车发动的声音，他一边安慰着我，一边告诉我很快就到。"},"64":{"tag":"","content":"后来我难受得不再说话，就在那哼哼唧唧。"},"65":{"tag":"","content":"我不知道他什么时候来的。"},"66":{"tag":"","content":"只感觉自己被他抱了起来。"},"67":{"tag":"","content":"他把我放在后座，用安全带捆着我，「我送你去医院，你忍一忍。」"},"68":{"tag":"","content":"「好。」我用尽最后的力气回答。"},"69":{"tag":"","content":"可是路，太漫长了。"},"70":{"tag":"","content":"外面下起了瓢泼大雨，风雨交加。"},"71":{"tag":"","content":"我听见雨滴打在顶棚上，越来越大，耳边的风也像是要把车子掀翻。"},"72":{"tag":"","content":"后来车子停了，好像是下山的路被倒下的树拦住了。"},"73":{"tag":"","content":"他去后备厢，拿了工具想去把树弄开。"},"74":{"tag":"","content":"可能觉得太费劲，太花时间，他又走回来焦急地看着我，开始打电话，一边打一边骂人。"},"75":{"tag":"","content":"「再难办，你就算把工程人员给我从床上捞起来，也要给我把路面清理了。」"},"76":{"tag":"","content":"他有些气急败坏。"},"77":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月。」我喊着他。"},"78":{"tag":"","content":"「我在。」他看着我一脸担忧。"},"79":{"tag":"","content":"「我是不是要死了，我好难受。」我一边哭，一边想要抓到什么东西。"},"80":{"tag":"","content":"「说什么傻话。」他伸手握住我的手。"},"81":{"tag":"","content":"我脑袋嗡嗡的，身子一边扭动，手不安分地就去摸他，「我好难受，如果我要死了，能不能把我埋在我父母那」"},"82":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠……别说傻话。」他声音有些哽咽。"},"83":{"tag":"","content":"「不是……江肆月，我错了，我真的错了。」我哭得泣不成声，「可是我真的好喜欢你。」"},"84":{"tag":"","content":"说完，我感觉要难受到昏死过去了。"},"85":{"tag":"","content":"突然我被人揽进怀里，他的吻密密麻麻地落在我身上。"},"86":{"tag":"","content":"我像是抓住了救命稻草，开始肆无忌惮寻找他。"},"87":{"tag":"","content":"……"},"88":{"tag":"","content":"第二日，正午的烈日刺得我睁不开眼。"},"89":{"tag":"","content":"我轻轻皱了皱眉头，结果一只手便伸了过来，给我挡住阳光。"},"90":{"tag":"","content":"我这才勉强睁开眼，抬头便对上江肆月柔情的目光，我惊了一瞬。"},"91":{"tag":"","content":"这一秒，昨晚的一幕幕犹如电影在我脑海闪过，回忆起某些场景，我羞红了脸。"},"92":{"tag":"","content":"他却很淡定地看着我，对视几秒没忍住，轻轻一笑，开口道，「现在知道累了？」"},"93":{"tag":"","content":"听他这么说，我脸更红了。"},"94":{"tag":"","content":"他却摸了摸我的头，「睡吧，我守着你。」"},"95":{"tag":"","content":"我心里泛起一阵甜蜜，「好。」"},"96":{"tag":"","content":"番外一"},"97":{"tag":"","content":"这是我第二次来到这个海鲜店。"},"98":{"tag":"","content":"只是带我来的人换成了江肆月。"},"99":{"tag":"","content":"刘叔还是那么热情，只是看到江肆月身边站的我，有几秒诧异，继而是沉默。"},"100":{"tag":"","content":"「要青蟹和虾吗？」刘叔随即换回正常的表情。"},"101":{"tag":"","content":"大概是上次我和陈烨来，我吃了特别多这两样，他便记住了。"},"102":{"tag":"","content":"「好。」我小声地回答。"},"103":{"tag":"","content":"不知道江肆月会有什么想法，那件事过后，我和他关系有些奇怪。"},"104":{"tag":"","content":"明明已经做了最亲密的事，他却也没有特别跟我说他喜欢我，或者爱我之类。"},"105":{"tag":"","content":"他不说，我便也不问。"},"106":{"tag":"","content":"这半个月他对我很好，可以说是无微不至。"},"107":{"tag":"","content":"只是关于我爸的事，我们谁都还没有提起。"},"108":{"tag":"","content":"「多添一份碗筷。」江肆月对刘叔说。"},"109":{"tag":"","content":"「好。」刘叔说着就去准备了。"},"110":{"tag":"","content":"江肆月拉着我去了包间。"},"111":{"tag":"","content":"他站在窗户抽烟，菜上了才灭了烟坐过来。"},"112":{"tag":"","content":"「还有谁要来吗？」我看着多出的碗筷问他。"},"113":{"tag":"","content":"「……」他愣了一会，「一个故人。」"},"114":{"tag":"","content":"「那我们等等他。」我不知道他指的谁，内心还有些忐忑。"},"115":{"tag":"","content":"「不用，先吃。」他说着，开始戴手套给我剥虾。"},"116":{"tag":"","content":"到最后我的碗里堆满了剥好的虾和蟹，他又开始往另一个碗里剥……"},"117":{"tag":"","content":"我诧异地看着他，一言不发。"},"118":{"tag":"","content":"盯了几秒，他看了我一眼，慢慢开口道：「以前有个女孩，跟你现在差不多大。」"},"119":{"tag":"","content":"我心里咯噔一下，有一种预感，他说的是那个女孩。"},"120":{"tag":"","content":"「她叫刘冉，我和她还有陈烨，我们三个是一起长大的。」他顿了一下，像是叹了一口气。"},"121":{"tag":"","content":"「后来我跟她在一起了，我们原本是无话不谈的朋友，成为恋人之后却因为异地经常吵架，我那个时候也挺混蛋的，觉得她恋爱就变了一副样子，我甚至在她哭闹的时候刻意不接她电话，和朋友出去玩，我那会儿觉得，反正之后冷静下来她都会来求饶。」"},"122":{"tag":"","content":"我听他这样说，大概明白了他对那个女孩的感情，我心里并没有不好受，只是可怜那个女孩子。"},"123":{"tag":"","content":"「后来呢？」我明知道后来的结局，却也忍不住想问到底发生了什么，他这样一个人，竟然会去为了那个女孩子轻生。"},"124":{"tag":"","content":"他剥了虾，又开始剥蟹。看得出来情绪很低落。"},"125":{"tag":"","content":"「后来有一次，我们吵架后她再也没有来找我求饶。」"},"126":{"tag":"","content":"「怎么了？」我的心揪了起来。"},"127":{"tag":"","content":"「然后陈烨告诉我，刘冉死了，从海边一直走向了远处。」他目光望向窗外。"},"128":{"tag":"","content":"「……」我顺着目光看过去，震惊得说不出话来。"},"129":{"tag":"","content":"我开始明白江肆月为什么会轻生，他那个时候肯定很自责，很想不通。"},"130":{"tag":"","content":"「为什么会这样？」我不理解，为什么会因为吵架走上那样的道路。"},"131":{"tag":"","content":"「后来陈烨把我揍了一顿，说那天她来找我了，大半夜的，她出去遇上了几个混混……她没有再来找我，而是又回了这里，在屋子里把自己关了几天，最后做出了那个选择。」"},"132":{"tag":"","content":"说到这，我看见他眼眶有些湿润。"},"133":{"tag":"","content":"信息量太大，我也整个人蒙了。"},"134":{"tag":"","content":"空气突然变得安静，我们谁也没有再说话。"},"135":{"tag":"","content":"但他仍然固执地往那个碗里剥蟹。"},"136":{"tag":"","content":"直到剥完所有的蟹，他才取了手套，叹了一口气，又看向我。"},"137":{"tag":"","content":"「陈烨也喜欢那个女孩？」我突然意识到这一点。"},"138":{"tag":"","content":"「算是吧。所以我跟你说了，他接近你，不是抱着单纯的目的，他恨我。从那个时候开始，他什么都想跟我抢。」"},"139":{"tag":"","content":"我突然想起，陈烨第一次见我时表现得那么热情，后来又离奇地消失又出现，其实他根本没有真的喜欢过我吧。"},"140":{"tag":"","content":"我觉得有些悲哀。"},"141":{"tag":"","content":"他接着说：「我回来的那天晚上，跟陈烨大吵了一架，他怪我，怨我，我表面不在意，其实心情很糟糕，我后来一个人回了学校，然后不知道喝了多少酒，一个人摇摇晃晃去了江边。也许是出现了幻觉，我看到她在江里向我求救，我想都没想就跳了下去。」"},"142":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠，你可以怪我，我就是那个时候遇到你父母，他们在岸上呼叫，你爸爸跳下来想把我拉回去，我却不管不顾往中央的位置游去，眼看拉不住，一同散步的师母也跳了下来……等我在江中央终于清醒，再回头，你爸妈已经被江水冲走了。」"},"143":{"tag":"","content":"！！！"},"144":{"tag":"","content":"这一刻，我的呼吸停止了。"},"145":{"tag":"","content":"往事被提起，大家的痛苦都被这样摊开来，我心痛到不能呼吸。"},"146":{"tag":"","content":"「所以，你养我，是因为对我父母的亏欠？」我说这话就像是耗费了巨大的力气。"},"147":{"tag":"","content":"太多事向我压来，他的痛苦，我的痛苦交织在一起，我有些难以承受。"},"148":{"tag":"","content":"「是。」江肆月坦诚地看着我。"},"149":{"tag":"","content":"「所以，你也不敢接受我，怕我有一天知道真相后会恨你？」"},"150":{"tag":"","content":"「……」他突然苦涩地笑了，「你迟早会知道真相，但我不是怕你恨我。」"},"151":{"tag":"","content":"他缓了一会，叹了一口气，「我怕你难过。」"},"152":{"tag":"","content":"「我曾经辜负了一个女孩子。后来想想，其实我和刘冉一直做朋友就挺好的，把一段友情转换成爱情的代价太大了，我甚至不确定自己到底是不是真的喜欢她，还是只是因为青春的冲动才会跟她在一起。」"},"153":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月，」我叫了他的名字，「那你喜欢我吗？」"},"154":{"tag":"","content":"我怕他说出答案，怕他说不喜欢我，又怕他说喜欢我，我内心好慌，慌到我只好端起茶杯，想要喝一口茶掩饰自己的慌张。"},"155":{"tag":"","content":"结果，刚端起来，手一抖，杯子掉在地上，碎了。"},"156":{"tag":"","content":"我急忙蹲下去捡杯子，却被他摁住了。"},"157":{"tag":"","content":"「别动，我来。」他按了按我肩膀，然后自己弯腰捡起地上的碎片，放在一边。"},"158":{"tag":"","content":"我和他近在咫尺，看到他眼里复杂的悲伤情绪，我的心突然安静下来。"},"159":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月，8 年了，你放下了吗？」我轻声问。"},"160":{"tag":"","content":"他的动作顿了一下，迟疑了一会儿，然后伸手，把我的手拉到手心，也不说话，也不看我，只是盯着那一碗剥好的虾。"},"161":{"tag":"","content":"看了好久，他才开口道：「以前都是她主动给我剥虾，今天是我第一次给她剥，也是最后一次。」"},"162":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠。」他突然盯着我，「要是没有放下，我今天也不会带你来这，很早之前我就想带你来这儿了，但因为一些事，直到今天才带你过来。」"},"163":{"tag":"","content":"我愣了一瞬间，仔细回忆了他说的很早以前是什么时候，这才想起，是那次，我父母的祭日，他说想带我来这吃海鲜，但我当时去找了陈烨。"},"164":{"tag":"","content":"「为什么要来这？」我又问。"},"165":{"tag":"","content":"他抬头看了一眼在窗外偶然路过的刘叔，「刘冉是刘叔的女儿。」"},"166":{"tag":"","content":"我更震惊了！"},"167":{"tag":"","content":"「那他知道你和他女儿……」"},"168":{"tag":"","content":"「知道。」他低下了头，「他以前是我家的园丁，出事之后他就一直守在这海边，开了这家海鲜店。」"},"169":{"tag":"","content":"我呆呆地转头去看……"},"170":{"tag":"","content":"刘叔坐在窗外的椅子上，望着大海的方向。"},"171":{"tag":"","content":"「他是看着我和陈烨长大的，跟我的家人一样。所以出了事，他不仅没来找我，反而托人带话给我，让我好好活着。」"},"172":{"tag":"","content":"听到这儿，我这顿饭算是彻底吃不下去了。"},"173":{"tag":"","content":"我不知道，这后面还有这么多我不知道的事。"},"174":{"tag":"","content":"我也不知道，他面对的黑暗岁月不比我的少。"},"175":{"tag":"","content":"事到如今，我又该怪谁？又能怪谁？"},"176":{"tag":"","content":"我想，如果再给我父母一次选择机会，他们还是会选择救江肆月。"},"177":{"tag":"","content":"再给江肆月一次选择机会，他还是会在江中看到那个女孩后，奋不顾身地跳下去。"},"178":{"tag":"","content":"他曾经犯过错，也因此受到了惩罚，这 8 年来都活在了悔恨之中。"},"179":{"tag":"","content":"也许之后，回忆还会一次又一次折磨他，但生活却不会因此停下。"},"180":{"tag":"","content":"因为死去的人再也回不来，而活着的人还是得好好活着。"},"181":{"tag":"","content":"「吃饱了吗？」江肆月的话让我收回了思绪。"},"182":{"tag":"","content":"「嗯。」我点了点头。"},"183":{"tag":"","content":"他站起来，伸手将我拉起来。"},"184":{"tag":"","content":"我跟着他往外面走。"},"185":{"tag":"","content":"路过刘叔，他握了握我的手，然后牵着我走向刘叔。"},"186":{"tag":"","content":"「吃好了吗？」刘叔本来在沉思中，看见我们换上笑脸。"},"187":{"tag":"","content":"「很好吃，谢谢刘叔。」我扯出一个笑容，回答。"},"188":{"tag":"","content":"刘叔的目光却落在我和江肆月牵着的手上，表情里闪过一丝不自然。"},"189":{"tag":"","content":"「刘叔，忘了给你介绍。」江肆月语气已经变得很平淡，「这是我女朋友，楠楠。」"},"190":{"tag":"","content":"我有些惊讶，这还是他第一次承认我和他的关系，或者说是第一次明确我和他的关系。还是在刘叔面前，我有些替他担心。"},"191":{"tag":"","content":"刘叔有些震惊，随即又像是有些释然，动了动唇道：「小姑娘挺漂亮，以后常带她过来，刘叔给你们做好吃的。」"},"192":{"tag":"","content":"「好。」江肆月说完，拉着我慢慢地走向海边。"},"193":{"tag":"","content":"后来我问他，为什么非要告诉刘叔，这样刘叔会不会心里不舒服。"},"194":{"tag":"","content":"他说：「8 年了，我们所有人都该放下了。」"},"195":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月，你接受我，是因为放下了，还是因为亏欠？」我仍旧没有安全感，觉得这一切都太过突然。"},"196":{"tag":"","content":"他突然就笑了，然后低声在我耳边道：「要说亏欠，也是你亏欠我。」"},"197":{"tag":"","content":"「谁允许你半途就睡着的？」他伸手捏了捏我的脸，又补充道，「那天在车里，要我帮你回忆？」"},"198":{"tag":"","content":"信息量太大了……"},"199":{"tag":"","content":"他笑着摸了摸我的头，「以后乖一点，锻炼下身体，你这体力，可不行。」"},"200":{"tag":"","content":"我：「……」"},"201":{"tag":"","content":"突然想起什么，我愤愤不平道：「你体力好，还不是练出来的。」"},"202":{"tag":"","content":"一想到他那些多如过江之鲫的女人，我就觉得自己好亏。"},"203":{"tag":"","content":"他听我这样说，却把方向盘一转，直接把车停在了路边。"},"204":{"tag":"","content":"然后身子靠过来，低头看着我，「怎么练？我也是第一次。」"},"205":{"tag":"","content":"「你撒谎。」还第一次，真离谱，他以为我什么都不懂吗？"},"206":{"tag":"","content":"「你以前带回来的那些女人……」我被他盯到发毛，不想再说下去了。"},"207":{"tag":"","content":"他突然坐了回去，叹了一口气，「假的。」"},"208":{"tag":"","content":"他重新发动车子。"},"209":{"tag":"","content":"假的？"},"210":{"tag":"","content":"我有些惊讶，又有些半信半疑。"},"211":{"tag":"","content":"他却伸过手过来握住我，「不要胡思乱想，以前是为了推开你，现在……」"},"212":{"tag":"","content":"「现在呢？」我望着他。"},"213":{"tag":"","content":"「现在发现推开了你，你还是不快乐，还不如忠于自己的内心。」他握着我的手紧了紧。"},"214":{"tag":"","content":"「后面的事，你别怕，别人说什么。你也不要在意，把一切都交给我，我会处理。」"},"215":{"tag":"","content":"不知道为什么，听他说这些话，我就好安心。"},"216":{"tag":"","content":"「好。」"},"217":{"tag":"","content":"某天夜里，我依偎在他怀里，他在工作，而我在看他，我突然问：「江肆月，你为什么会喜欢我？你以后会不会因为我离不开你厌烦我？」"},"218":{"tag":"","content":"他愣了片刻，然后关上电脑，并没有回答，而是去屋里拿了一件披风给我搭上，然后搂着我，「你觉得是你离不开我？」"},"219":{"tag":"","content":"「嗯。」"},"220":{"tag":"","content":"他笑着揉了揉我的脑袋，「没有你，我根本走不出那一段时光，是我离不开你，傻。」"},"221":{"tag":"","content":"这一刻月色四溢，我沉浸在他的柔情中，不可自拔。"},"222":{"tag":"","content":"最后他低头，吻住了我，那一瞬间，我在他眼里看到了一整个银河的繁星。"},"223":{"tag":"","content":"番外二"},"224":{"tag":"","content":"后来我在学校申请了去国外留学。"},"225":{"tag":"","content":"我想好好奋斗一下，找到自己的自我定位，找到自己的价值。我想要有一天和江肆月能真正并肩站到一起。"},"226":{"tag":"","content":"他也很支持我。"},"227":{"tag":"","content":"只是，最近我回家准备各种各样的出国资料，他就坐在旁边，安静地帮我整理，一脸沉默。"},"228":{"tag":"","content":"「怎么了，你不想我去？」"},"229":{"tag":"","content":"「想。」他笑了笑，又递给我整理好的资料，「也不太想。」"},"230":{"tag":"","content":"我问他，「为什么？」"},"231":{"tag":"","content":"他幽怨地看了我一眼，然后伸手掐了一把我的脖子，最后又变成抚摸，哑着嗓子道：「还能为什么，怕你去国外见到那些大男孩，就对我不感兴趣了。」"},"232":{"tag":"","content":"嗤……"},"233":{"tag":"","content":"看他这副模样，我忍不住笑了。"},"234":{"tag":"","content":"谁能想，平时冷漠寡言的江肆月，最近竟然有了中年危机。"},"235":{"tag":"","content":"我继续整理资料，噘着嘴逗他，「你以前还天天推开我来着。」"},"236":{"tag":"","content":"他盯了我一眼，无奈笑笑，「那是年少太轻狂。」"},"237":{"tag":"","content":"「现在呢？」"},"238":{"tag":"","content":"「现在……现在就想把你护照烧了，让你哪里都去不成。」他拿下我手中的资料，放在桌上，搂着我。"},"239":{"tag":"","content":"「江肆月，你幼不幼稚。」我没好气地看他一眼。"},"240":{"tag":"","content":"仔细想想，他这两天是真的挺黏我的。"},"241":{"tag":"","content":"我刚开始不知道怎么回事，现在才知道他竟然是舍不得我走。"},"242":{"tag":"","content":"他伸手揉了揉太阳穴，苦笑，「要怪就怪，我家小姑娘太招人喜欢了。」"},"243":{"tag":"","content":"听他这样说，我心底升起一丝丝甜意。"},"244":{"tag":"","content":"我坐到他身上，搂着他的脖子，与他对视，「江肆月，那你每个月都出国看看我好不好。」"},"245":{"tag":"","content":"他盯着我的唇，吞了吞口水，「还是不去了。」"},"246":{"tag":"","content":"「为什么？」我立马不高兴了。"},"247":{"tag":"","content":"他忽地伸手捂住我的眼，不让我看他，最后叹了一口气，「去了我还能回得来？」"},"248":{"tag":"","content":"下一秒，他的唇就覆了上来，一只手托住我的头，一只手温柔地插进我的发丝。"},"249":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠。」"},"250":{"tag":"","content":"「嗯。」"},"251":{"tag":"","content":"「我等你。」"},"252":{"tag":"","content":"「好。」"},"253":{"tag":"","content":"番外三（叔叔视角）"},"254":{"tag":"","content":"2019 年 9 月"},"255":{"tag":"","content":"今天，小姑娘上大学了，她很开心。"},"256":{"tag":"","content":"楠楠是第一次住校，以前我担心她会有心理问题，家里请了做饭的阿姨，心理医生，她每天都回家，密切关注她的动态。"},"257":{"tag":"","content":"送她到寝室，张姨去给她铺被子，而我等在寝室楼下，并没有上去。"},"258":{"tag":"","content":"后来张姨下来跟我说，她同学问她张姨是谁，怎么不是父母来。我都能感受到她当时的窘迫。"},"259":{"tag":"","content":"那天晚上我一直在等她的微信，想知道她后来有没有因为此事伤心，有没有被同学嘲笑，会不会一个人躲起来哭鼻子。"},"260":{"tag":"","content":"等到晚上 11 点，她终于发来了信息。"},"261":{"tag":"","content":"她跟我说了今天发生的新奇事，显得有些兴奋。"},"262":{"tag":"","content":"但我听不进去，我的心一直被张姨今天的话吊着，忐忑不安。"},"263":{"tag":"","content":"我问她怎么这么晚才给我发信息，她说太忙忘记了"},"264":{"tag":"","content":"我一下子就松了一口气。"},"265":{"tag":"","content":"我后来躺在床上想，小姑娘终于长大了"},"266":{"tag":"","content":"她不再像以前，只要别人提起父母两个字，就哭得满脸都是鼻涕。"},"267":{"tag":"","content":"我嘲笑自己一天的紧张，终于觉得自己该放手了"},"268":{"tag":"","content":"2020 年 9 月"},"269":{"tag":"","content":"今天，我又带了女人回家"},"270":{"tag":"","content":"因为我跟楠楠已经冷战了好久。"},"271":{"tag":"","content":"她开始明里暗里表达对我的喜欢。"},"272":{"tag":"","content":"以前我没想过这事，一心一意只想不负老师的嘱托把她照顾好，再也无心顾及其他。"},"273":{"tag":"","content":"刘冉的死让我对谈恋爱这件事有阴影，我发现我再也喜欢不上别人，更没有和谁谈恋爱的心思。"},"274":{"tag":"","content":"所以楠楠大胆的表白让我愣住了，我想了一晚，终于意识到，这将是一场错误的开始，而我必须将她的念头扼杀在摇篮里。"},"275":{"tag":"","content":"我选择了最直接的拒绝方式，那就是带女人回家，那些女人我都没碰，所幸她们演技不错，希望楠楠能认清现实，我不可能会喜欢上她。"},"276":{"tag":"","content":"也不能喜欢她。"},"277":{"tag":"","content":"她是我老师的女儿，是我害死了我老师，她知道真相后怎么可能再喜欢我？　　"},"278":{"tag":"","content":"有时候被她逼急了，我就想要不然直接告诉她真相，结束这一切。"},"279":{"tag":"","content":"可是一想到她失去父母那段时间的灰暗与不安，我又不忍心再伤害她一次。"},"280":{"tag":"","content":"毕竟，她现在如此信任我，依赖我，把我当成最后的依靠"},"281":{"tag":"","content":"2020 年 10 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月"},"324":{"tag":"","content":"这本个月来，我每晚都难以入睡。"},"325":{"tag":"","content":"我总是做梦，梦见楠楠和陈烨走到了一起，然后她蹲在街角哭得颤抖。"},"326":{"tag":"","content":"我开始去她学校找她，每次都坐在车里，透过车窗，静静地看她一眼才觉得安心。"},"327":{"tag":"","content":"圣诞节这天，我又去了她学校。"},"328":{"tag":"","content":"看到陈烨出现的那一刻，我的心凉得彻底。"},"329":{"tag":"","content":"最担心的事还是发生了。"},"330":{"tag":"","content":"她跟着陈烨出去了。"},"331":{"tag":"","content":"我在宿舍楼下等了她一夜，她都没有回来。"},"332":{"tag":"","content":"我不知道那晚是怎么度过的，痛苦、心慌、烦躁不安，好像对所有的事都提不起兴趣。"},"333":{"tag":"","content":"我甚至给我的心理医生打了电话，他冷静地分析了我的情况，说我喜欢上了楠楠，这是吃醋的表现。"},"334":{"tag":"","content":"我当时都蒙了。"},"335":{"tag":"","content":"我又去了她楼下等她，思考着这一年发生的所有事，去找寻心理医生说的，我喜欢她的蛛丝马迹。"},"336":{"tag":"","content":"结果，往事历历在目，她的笑，她的胡闹，是那样的清晰。我才发现，只要是关于她的事，我每一件都记得。"},"337":{"tag":"","content":"如果这还不是喜欢，是什么？"},"338":{"tag":"","content":"我喝了很多酒，一直在她宿舍楼下等，我的脑子不清醒，心跳得很乱也很快，似乎又回到了少年时，。"},"339":{"tag":"","content":"结果，她第二天才回来，这等待的时间消耗了我所有的冲动。"},"340":{"tag":"","content":"我安静地坐在那里，看着她和陈烨拉着手依依不舍的样子，心像被针扎一般疼。"},"341":{"tag":"","content":"她后来看到了我，笑着跟我说，她谈恋爱了。"},"342":{"tag":"","content":"那一刻，我心如死灰。"},"343":{"tag":"","content":"我心里闪过很多复杂的情绪，那些想说出口的表白，最终都化为了沉默。"},"344":{"tag":"","content":"我想如果陈烨这次是真的认真追求她，如果她也因此感到快乐，那我还有什么阻拦的必要？"},"345":{"tag":"","content":"2021 年 1 月"},"346":{"tag":"","content":"我一个人过着比过往还要孤寂的日子，时间仿佛都停止了转动。"},"347":{"tag":"","content":"我以为楠楠会幸福，却没想到陈烨突然要和秦雨订婚。"},"348":{"tag":"","content":"陈烨家里人一直在争取秦雨家族我知道。"},"349":{"tag":"","content":"秦雨也早就因为我的冷落而跟我翻脸。"},"350":{"tag":"","content":"我只是没想到，陈烨最后竟然遵从了家里人的意思，选择跟秦雨家联姻。"},"351":{"tag":"","content":"我第一时间就想到了楠楠。"},"352":{"tag":"","content":"我的小姑娘该怎么办？"},"353":{"tag":"","content":"我把她从街角带回家，多久以前的梦境变成现实。"},"354":{"tag":"","content":"我这段时间什么都不想做，只想陪着她，陪她陪她走过这段低谷时期。"},"355":{"tag":"","content":"我们的关系似乎又回到了最好的时期，看着她脸上逐渐多起来的笑容，我也松了一口气。"},"356":{"tag":"","content":"今年初一和情人节是同一天，我想好了在那天跟她坦白一切，然后请求她的原谅，让她给我一次重新来过得机会。"},"357":{"tag":"","content":"只是结局有些难，她提前发现了那个真相，离家出走了。"},"358":{"tag":"","content":"命运总是捉弄人。"},"359":{"tag":"","content":"2021 年 3 月"},"360":{"tag":"","content":"楠楠变了。"},"361":{"tag":"","content":"她变成了渣女，肆意挥霍自己的青春，每天和不同的男孩子混在一起。"},"362":{"tag":"","content":"我知道，她是在用折磨自己的方式惩罚我。"},"363":{"tag":"","content":"她的目的达到了。"},"364":{"tag":"","content":"我开始整晚整晚睡不着，只能守在她宿舍楼下，她却不肯看我一眼。"},"365":{"tag":"","content":"我每天都活在自责中，担心她，心痛她，又无能为力。"},"366":{"tag":"","content":"我不知道怎么做，她才能消气。"},"367":{"tag":"","content":"我想就算她不能原谅我，我也接受。"},"368":{"tag":"","content":"我只希望，她能好好地。"},"369":{"tag":"","content":"2021 年 4 月"},"370":{"tag":"","content":"我接到了楠楠的电话。"},"371":{"tag":"","content":"那一瞬间我觉得这个世界仿佛又恢复了色彩。"},"372":{"tag":"","content":"可是等我听清她的声音，我突然意识到她的状态非常奇怪，像是被人下了药……"},"373":{"tag":"","content":"我不顾一切冲了出去。"},"374":{"tag":"","content":"找到楠楠的时候，她难受得只知道哼哼唧唧，我的心疼得都快裂开了。"},"375":{"tag":"","content":"来不及思考，我必须要赶快送她去医院。"},"376":{"tag":"","content":"可是老天偏要和我作对。"},"377":{"tag":"","content":"外面开始狂风暴雨，大量的树被吹倒在路上，根本无法下山。"},"378":{"tag":"","content":"我想往回走，回去的路也被树木堵塞。"},"379":{"tag":"","content":"在如此进退两难的时候，后座的楠楠更让我崩溃。"},"380":{"tag":"","content":"她难受得开始寻求我的安抚。"},"381":{"tag":"","content":"后来，我真的顾不上那么多了，即使她清醒后恨我一辈子，我也要救她。"},"382":{"tag":"","content":"如果可以，我不想在这样的情况下，在这个风雨交加的夜晚，在这车里，要了她。"},"383":{"tag":"","content":"可是命运作弄人，我根本没得选。"},"384":{"tag":"","content":"楠楠，我喜欢你。"},"385":{"tag":"","content":"说这句话的时候，她已经累得昏睡过去。"},"386":{"tag":"","content":"我伸手为她整理凌乱的发丝，就这样将她拥在怀里，心竟然会痛。"},"387":{"tag":"","content":"喜欢一个人，靠得太近，心真的会痛。"},"388":{"tag":"","content":"我记得她总说她对我太依赖，离不开我。"},"389":{"tag":"","content":"其实这些年来，若是没有她，我恐怕也和陈烨一样，永远走不出那件事的阴影。"},"390":{"tag":"","content":"其实是我，离不开她多一些。"},"391":{"tag":"","content":"所以，从今以后，我想把这个世界所有的温柔，都给怀里的这个小姑娘。"},"392":{"tag":"","content":"番外四"},"393":{"tag":"","content":"出国前，我陪江肆月参加了陈烨的订婚宴。"},"394":{"tag":"","content":"他让我别去，我却坚持要去。"},"395":{"tag":"","content":"我并不是对陈烨还有什么想法。"},"396":{"tag":"","content":"我只是觉得被人耍了一圈，我需要一个解释，或者说我要去与那段错误的感情告别。"},"397":{"tag":"","content":"订婚宴上很热闹，整个过程中，江肆月一直小心翼翼拉着我，生怕别人欺负了我。"},"398":{"tag":"","content":"我其实有些不自在，他反倒是坦坦荡荡，即使别人想说什么，碍于他如今在商界的地位，别人也不敢说什么。"},"399":{"tag":"","content":"陈烨过来敬酒，首先看到了我。"},"400":{"tag":"","content":"我盯着他，他倒是没有躲避。"},"401":{"tag":"","content":"未等我开口恭喜他，他反而说了一声，恭喜我，把我弄得有些蒙。"},"402":{"tag":"","content":"后来他发信息，让我去阳台，说有话跟我说。"},"403":{"tag":"","content":"我跟江肆月说了，他有些不放心，想跟着过去，我拒绝了。"},"404":{"tag":"","content":"我独自走到阳台，陈烨在抽烟。"},"405":{"tag":"","content":"「你和江肆月在一起了？」他仰头看了我一眼。"},"406":{"tag":"","content":"「嗯。」"},"407":{"tag":"","content":"两人沉默了一会，我直接问他：「陈烨，耍我好玩吗？」"},"408":{"tag":"","content":"他愣了片刻，突然就笑了。"},"409":{"tag":"","content":"他又吸了一口烟，笑着问我：「哥哥什么时候耍过你？」"},"410":{"tag":"","content":"这个时候他说哥哥两个字，只让我觉得恶心。"},"411":{"tag":"","content":"「陈烨，你……」我觉得我不擅长吵架，特别是和陈烨。他伶牙俐齿，不会像江肆月那样惯着我。"},"412":{"tag":"","content":"「既然和他在一起了，你就好好的吧。」他突然就没了嚣张气焰，缓了会儿又说，「他对刘冉都没这么上心过，这一次，我还是输给了他。」"},"413":{"tag":"","content":"他说这话的时候有些感伤，我却听得云里雾里。"},"414":{"tag":"","content":"「你什么意思？」我问他。"},"415":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠，」他忽然转过头来叫我的名字，「你就该活在阳光里，我这样的人永远活在阴暗里，你选择他是对的，我没有耍你，我只是，配不上你。」"},"416":{"tag":"","content":"「我总算明白，当初我哪里输给了江肆月，这么多年，我一直都想不通刘冉为什么会选择他。"},"417":{"tag":"","content":"「遇到你，我才明白，他哪里需要费力气和我争个输赢，因为你喜欢的是他，我就输得一败涂地。刘冉是，你也是。所以，我退出。」"},"418":{"tag":"","content":"「那个畜生如果欺负你，你告诉哥哥，哥哥帮你出气。」陈烨抽完一支烟，伸手摸了摸我的头，然后转身回了宴会厅。"},"419":{"tag":"","content":"回去的路上，我一直在回忆陈烨的话。"},"420":{"tag":"","content":"他说的那句，我一直喜欢的只有江肆月。"},"421":{"tag":"","content":"是这样吗？"},"422":{"tag":"","content":"我望了望身边的江肆月，陷入沉思，回想我这一年的幼稚、胡闹，哪一项不是为了引起他的注意。"},"423":{"tag":"","content":"原来旁人都明白的事，我却一直糊涂得彻底。"},"424":{"tag":"","content":"像是终于打开了心结，晚上回去我心里舒了一口气，忍不住拉紧了他的手。"},"425":{"tag":"","content":"「怎么了？」他低下头来轻声询问，「哪里不舒服？」"},"426":{"tag":"","content":"「没有。」我笑着踮起脚亲吻了他的侧脸。。"},"427":{"tag":"","content":"他愣了几秒，幽幽地盯了我一眼，低声道：「怕痛，还敢胡闹？」"},"428":{"tag":"","content":"这下换我愣住了。"},"429":{"tag":"","content":"「楠楠过来」他朝我招招手。"},"430":{"tag":"","content":"「不。」我逃到一边。"},"431":{"tag":"","content":"结果他没了耐心，一把拎起我回了房间。"},"432":{"tag":"","content":"我欲哭无泪，他最近好像有些，贪得无厌。"},"items":[]}