The picture comes from the network, and the picture and text are irrelevant
The netizen letter said:
After graduating from college, I stayed in the city where I went to school to work, and Hadron returned to work in the city where he grew up, so far, I met once when we were married, and the rest of the time I called to greet him during the New Year's Holiday.
My wife and I are college classmates and couples, my wife and I are in love, and hadrons will occasionally be our heels. Because my wife's family is well-off, when my wife and I got married and bought a house, my parents-in-law helped us a lot, of course, my parents also took out some savings.
In the blink of an eye, I have been married to my wife for 8 years, during which time, my relationship with my wife has been very stable, originally thought that I could live happily with my wife, but the hadron came to my life on a business trip, and finally broke the balance between me and my wife: during the hadron's business trip to my city, I was kind enough to let him live in my house, but he joined hands with my wife to put a green hat on me.
After the infidelity period, I also know that my wife and hadron are just playing with fire for a while, after all, there is still a certain distance between the city where the two people work, but I can't accept the infidelity itself, so that I don't intend to give my wife forgiveness. However, in the face of divorce, there will also be many obstacles: custody of children, division of property.
I'm so heartbroken and very entangled right now. My wife's attitude was: I hope I can forgive her this time, and if there is another similar behavior, she is willing to clean up. I would like to ask, standing at the crossroads of life, where should I go?
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
An encounter at night, do you think it will be true love, at best, curiosity about the early taste of the cat state. It needs to be admitted that when two people are together for a long time, there will indeed be visual fatigue, at this time, there is no idea of divorce, but when a new face inadvertently breaks into their own lives, they want to take the risk of contacting it, and luckily think that this dangerous game without love color can be done unconsciously, how some people are in decline, only to perform a misdeed, it was discovered by the legitimate lover.
I also believe that there is no affection between your wife and the hadron, because from a realistic point of view, they live in a certain distance in the city, so that the relationship will be terminated immediately after the end of the hadron's business trip, but as a legitimate lover, driven by the hegemony and uniqueness of love, you will definitely feel that your wife's behavior is disgusting to the home, in this case, you have the idea of divorce, it is also a very normal feeling. However, to really face divorce, it also takes capital: usually, many people only have one house in the city where they work, which involves divorce dividing property, which means that the house also needs to be divided. In some cities, where house prices are often several million and the couple only has one house, in this case, it is not that the house cannot be sold and then used to divide the money to buy the house, but the money from the division will be quite difficult to re-buy a house in the working city. This is probably where you struggle with divorce. Because of this, we sometimes have to face the bondage of love.
Found that no: The reason why it is easy to break up during love is because the investment of two people in the material level during love is negligible, but the two people after marriage are different, and sometimes they face the dilemma of wanting to say that divorce is not easy. In this case, more people may make a decision against their hearts after weighing the pros and cons, that is, to continue to die in marriage and let themselves slowly release some things that they do not want to accept.
Here, I need to elaborate on the phenomenon that when men have money, they become bad. In fact, it is also divided into two parts: 1) some men belong to the heart, so that after having money, there is the capital to contaminate extramarital affairs, even if the extramarital affair is discovered by the wife, they also have divorce capital; 2) originally wanted to grow old with their wives, how to be when they are not so rich, the wife mocks and nags at herself, and even gives herself the humiliation of wearing a green hat, so that after the man has money, he is unwilling to continue to be with his wife, which is called a gentleman's revenge for ten years. This means that even if you don't divorce now, then, when you have the capital to divorce, you can't rule out the possibility of kicking your wife out of the siege.
In the adult world, there are always many things that you don't want to do but have to do, common phenomena include: having to pay off your mortgage every month; having to work overtime or part-time after work in order to maximize your family's wealth. Most middle-aged people's understanding of life: life itself, work itself, exercise itself has made themselves very busy, how to have leisure and elegance to manage extramarital affairs, but people always have the idea of desertion, at this time, may be in an instant evil thoughts, and pay practical action.
In life, there are many things that we want to do but do but do not have the strength to fulfill, as far as your current situation is concerned, perhaps divorce is not the best choice, so you have to show a gesture of forgiveness, only in this way, you will not let yourself be depressed in life. There is a word called "lying down to taste the guts", I hope that one day in the future, when facing the divorce, you can do it freely, at that time, whether you want to divorce your wife or not, is to see your mood.
In between, my advice is: try to forgive, and from now on, keep your so-called buddy in a state of old age and death, because he is not worthy of your kindness. At the same time, you also have to believe that your wife's apologies and confessions are sincere in the post-infidelity period. In the future marriage process, I hope that you can avoid the fact that your wife cheated on your buddies well, because the best way to be indifferent to one thing: don't mention it again, give it to time.
Muzi Li life insights:
Many middle-aged people are actually quite anxious, this anxiety may not come from the lover's lack of understanding of themselves, nor from the slow aging of their parents themselves, nor because they have borne too much burden at work, but suddenly found that their daily life form is not their favorite style, but they have to face it hard. However, how many people can live the way they like in this life? Therefore, holding back is also a part of life.
No matter who you hold hands with, there will be quarrels, misunderstandings, and even betrayals, at this time, the idea of divorce will definitely flash in your mind, but you will find that when you really have to face divorce, there will still be too much entanglement between each other. At this time, forgiveness is given, or simply because of the helplessness of reality. However, people have been following each other all their lives. Therefore, it can only be forgiven against the will. So, in a relationship, it is best not to leave but have the capital to leave.
When people reach middle age, they gradually learn to compromise with life: when they encounter people who are not accustomed to it, they no longer have a hard confrontation with each other, but choose to take a detour; when they encounter things that make them feel sad, they no longer reason with each other, but choose to endure and endure. Gradually, we understand the truth: love is not the only life, if it can continue together, marriage can actually be together, once even the mood of the couple is gone, it can only be divorced.