"The Tight Seam of Life" is an LGBT film directed by Naoko Ogiue, which uses delicate shots of Japanese warmth to tell the emotional connection between a transgender person and three families.
The film cuts from the perspective of the girl's little friend, who was forced to learn to live independently early in a single-parent family, while her mother repeatedly chased men and was dumped all day, always drinking until late at night before returning home.
One day, the mother once again left home and disappeared, Xiaoyou found his uncle Munan and offered to live in his uncle's house temporarily.
At his uncle's house, Xiaoyou met his uncle's transgender girlfriend Lunzi, and the family temporarily formed by the three of them allowed Xiaoyou to gradually find the missing maternal love.
Affection and love, normal and abnormal, love and how to love... Around the topic of "gender", all kinds of relationships are stitched into their lives.
Understanding, tolerance, acceptance, and indifferent daily life are interspersed with humorous details, while the film cleverly avoids affirmative action tendencies and does not shout for any group, just like a typical Japanese warm film, just telling a story without haste.
I. Shepherd: I love you dearly, regardless of gender
After his sister ran away from home and his mother fell ill with Alzheimer's disease, he chose to sell his house and send his mother to a nursing home, thus meeting Lunzi, a nurse who was responsible for caring for his mother.
Mu Nan was also surprised to learn that Lunzi was originally a man, but he did not look at Lunzi with a universal eye, he loved her, not the gender label of "male" or "female".
Transgender did not bring frustration to the relationship between the two, and the two lived a simple life, contented and grateful for the status quo. They don't feel that they are challenging the world, and they don't feel that they are blindsided, they just want to hide among the people and live their lives peacefully.
"Of course, I was also confused when I knew she was originally a man. But there is no way to fall in love with someone with a good heart like Lunzi, and I don't care about the rest. It doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman. ”
II. Mother Lunzi: My daughter is the cutest
Ryuko will become a gentle person, in large part because of the support of her mother, Fumiko. In the process of awakening the gender consciousness of Lunzi, it is bound to be ridiculed and disliked by the people around her, but the mother is determined to be on the same front as the child.
When Ryuko feels desperate and helpless for her to be a man, she says that she wants breasts, and her mother does not not understand and reprimand, but after silence, she says "I'm sorry I didn't give birth to your breasts."
In order to fulfill the child's wishes, the mother not only bought a female bra, but also knitted two lumps of brass with wool as a filler and gave them to Lunzi.
When she first met Xiaoyou, her mother ignored the atmosphere at the dinner table and said, "If you dare to hurt Lunzi, I will not spare you." Even if you are a child, I will not be soft-hearted" warning.
Mother Xiaohai: It is better not to be with that kind of person
This understanding and tolerance is not something that all mothers can do, and as the mother of Xiao Hai, a classmate of Xiaoyou, Naomi is a microcosm of most mothers.
Not only does she reject sexual minorities, but she also does not tolerate personal ties to herself, her children, and those around her.
When she saw Xiaoyou shopping with Ryuko, she warned her not to "be with that kind of person"; after discovering her son's love letter to Chief Ohno, she tore it off without a word.
The care she thought was good for her children actually became the last straw that overwhelmed Xiaohai, but even when Naomi found out that Xiaohai had attempted suicide by taking sleeping pills, she still insisted that sexual minorities were "abnormal".
Happy families are similar, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes. Lunzi and Xiaohai are unfortunate, but Lunzi has the support and protection of her mother, even if the outside world responds with pain, she can use her gentleness to return the song.
And Zhimei's lack of understanding and inappropriate care may form a shadow in Xiaohai's heart, and it may accompany it for a lifetime.
IV. Little Mother: I will also have times when I can't stand it
Unlike her younger brother Makio, Otomo's mother, Mikō, and her relationship with her mother deteriorated at an accelerated pace after her father's death, unlike Makio, who grew up spoiled by her mother.
After graduating from college, she ran away from home, and despite her mother's objections, she gave birth to Xiaoyou to become a single mother, and when Xiaoyou went to elementary school, she turned into a decadent life of going out all day to chase men.
The family of origin affects a person's character formation. Mei Gui's father cheated, and the unwilling mother knitted the unhappiness of the marriage into a sweater one stitch at a time, and put on her "works" full of resentment to the children.
Adler said that "lucky people are healed by childhood all their lives, and unfortunate people are cured of childhood all their lives". Mei Gui, who lacks the love of her father and mother, longs to be loved in her heart, but she always loves and cannot.
The imprint of her original family influenced the establishment of her own family relationships. Pregnant before marriage, raising the child alone but unable to take care of the child, the shepherd once said that she "can't tell the difference between the important and the heavy".
Indeed, Mei Gui is not a qualified mother, she will not protect her children, and she does not know how to take care of her children and express maternal love, she is just unconsciously continuing the life of her parents.
Compared with her daughter Xiaoyou, she is more like a child who has not grown up, just like The shepherd asked her when he was separated from Xiaoyou, "My sister will please you."
V. Little Friend: Because you are my mom
The little friend who is forced to be independent and strong is still just a child. She longed for her mother's care and companionship, but she could only watch without a word as her mother returned drunk and late, and got up and left in a daze.
Go to school by yourself, eat by yourself, buy your own books... On the way home, I saw my mother, who had not seen her for a long time, and kept rushing to catch up, but when I returned home, I was still faced with only a quiet and chaotic room.
Fortunately, she also has her uncle Mu Nan and Lunzi, and the short life of the three fills some of the holes in Xiaoyou's heart. From Xiaoyou's indifference and vigilance at the beginning to his later intimacy and acceptance, in Lunzi, what you can see is what a mother really should look like.
So much so that later when her mother insulted Lunzi, Xiaoyou chose to fight back against her mother and protect Lunzi.
In the face of her mother, who came home after being abandoned by her boyfriend, she beat her and complained about her, but she still couldn't watch her leave lonely.
Abandoned children, though resentful, can easily forgive their bowed mothers. After all, in those little hearts, most of them are full of many innate dependencies, as well as surrender to blood love.
VI. Final
Those who can become mothers on a physical level renounce their obligations as mothers, while those who cannot have children strive to become conscientious mothers.
An "abnormal" family temporarily composed of a variety of "coincidences" brings warmth and happiness to the children. For Xiaoyou, Lunzi and Migui are both mothers, but neither of them is a mother.
It was not a happy ending. Xiaoyou eventually leaves with Miki; Migui's change may be serious, and may soon become what it used to be; Makio and Lunzi continue to live a childless life; Xiaohai, who is at odds with fate, still has to live under the pressure of her mother, her heart shrinking as hard as a walnut and covered with ravines.
Never underestimate the power of language, especially when speaking to children. Because you can't predict what you say will do to your child.