People often say "women's hearts, needles under the sea", and how deep and true is a man's heart, how many women can really see through it?
In life, a girl will be trapped by a waste man because she does not have the ability to recognize people, and it is not clear whether a man is a human or a demon.
Perhaps only after experiencing something can you really realize that you really saw the wrong person, and it was very wrong.
The so-called waste man is a man who does not refuse, is not responsible, and has no sense of responsibility.
The heart is higher than the sky, the life is thinner than paper, there are many things to think, but very few to put into action.
Girls with such men have no future.
Ruoxin only realized after breaking up with her boyfriend that he was a waste man.
Ruoxin and her boyfriend met at a catwalk event, Ruoxin was a model, and her boyfriend was the planner of that event.
After the two met, her boyfriend introduced her to a lot of jobs. Three months later, the two settled into a relationship.
The boyfriend is very good at talking about love, and the love words he says can always make Ruoxin, heartbroken, and he would like to get a license to marry him in the next second, and then hurry to have a child to tie him up.
Every morning, as long as Ruoxin opens his eyes, he can see the touching words sent by his boyfriend on his mobile phone, and Ruoxin will be happy all day.
After the two moved together, if she thought that this was the beginning of their good life, she wanted to marry him.
In fact, if the mind thinks of everything too simply, everything is not imagined to be simple and perfect.
The boyfriend will also say a lot of love words to her, but the "power" of love words is getting smaller and smaller.
Seeing more and listening more, if the heart of the heart is no longer a little waver.
The boyfriend spends a lot of money, and when he has no money to spend, he also has to borrow money from Ruoxin to spend.
After the boyfriend pays his salary, he will lead Ruoxin to visit the mall together, "Honey, the salary card is for you, you can buy whatever you want." Don't save me money, and don't worry about money. ”
If she can't do it, she knows that it is not easy for her boyfriend to make money, and she also knows that her boyfriend has no money at all.
Everything he said, his behavior is a kind of confusion, and the boyfriend hopes to move Ruoxin through such behavior, so that Ruoxin will be dead with him in the future.
In fact, if Ruoxin has always known his careful thinking, it is just that she can see through it and not debunk it.
Not long after, the boyfriend thought that he was a bit condescending in this company, so he resigned to find a bigger development platform.
Unexpectedly, in the six months since then, he has never been able to find a job, and all the expenses of the family can only be counted on Ruoxin alone.
At this time, the boyfriend proposed a strange idea to Ruoxin, "Ruoxin, let's have a child, and then get married." I asked my parents to take out the dowry money, and when the time comes, you give me the money to do business, how about it? ”
If she feels that her boyfriend's idea is very unrealistic, and she doesn't want to get married at all now, how can she have children with him first?
He wants the child not because he truly loves her, but just for the bride price in his parents' hands, what logic is this?
The boyfriend also said to Ruoxin, "You think about it, after the birth of the child, my company is almost on the right track, and when you come to the company to help me manage the finances, you are the boss lady of the company."
In the future, I will accompany you wherever you want, and whatever you want to buy will be paid by your husband, what a good future. ”
If she is speechless, she feels that she is a little speechless about her boyfriend.
After being together for so long, Ruoxin thought of breaking up for the first time.
She felt that she could not be trapped by such a waste man, otherwise she would regret it for the rest of her life.
01
In these few aspects, we must guard against waste men
1. Don't be fooled by his love words
When men talk about love, they are often set in a set, and girls are easily confused by his rhetoric.
After all, love words only sound good, read touchingly, fall into real life, and have no effect at all.
If a man just puts his love into his language, then his love for you is zero.
Most girls no longer stay in the realm of language to fall in love, instead of using their ears to fall in love, it is better to talk about love with their eyes and see what actions the man has paid for his love words.
Crap men are the kind of men who only say they won't do it. He is willing to say all the love words for the girl, but he is not willing to cook a bowl of porridge for her.
He can write love letters, but he is not willing to cook a bowl of brown sugar water for the girl during her menstrual period.
What a girl wants is for a man to use actions to bring herself touch and warmth, not just the stimulation and touch brought by language.
If a girl is touched by a man's love words, she must not rush to give her all.
Take a look down and believe you can know if a man is sincere or fake.
2. Don't be moved by his actions
When the boyfriend told Ruoxin, "You like to buy whatever you like", this sentence did not come from his heart.
Perhaps some girls will be moved by this, thinking that men are generous and willing to be generous to themselves.
In fact, it was precisely because he knew Ruoxin so well that he was sure that she would not be willing to spend his money and would definitely save money for him.
In this way, the man himself fell into a good reputation.
When one day, the girl questioned him. Men can also say, "When I gave you the salary card and let you spend it at will, you didn't spend it yourself." ”
If a girl spends a man's money, when the man has no money, he will blame the girl for spending his money indiscriminately.
If a girl doesn't spend a man's money, when a man doesn't have money, he will reach out to the girl.
Therefore, the waste man will seize this point and will behave so "atmospheric".
He had already calculated in his heart how the girl would react, and everything was in his control.
The two are just lovers, men are so calculated, if they really get married, will girls have a good life?
The boyfriend proposed to Ruoxin that he would get pregnant before marriage, hoping that through Ruoxin's pregnancy, he would ask his parents for the bride price money, and then start his own business.
Ruoxin was very surprised, and at the same time further determined that such a man really could not marry.
If Ruoxin is really unfortunate enough to be pregnant, whether the child wants or not, it will be the greatest harm to her.
Men will feel that they can get pregnant first and get paid for it, and they are not ready to start a family and raise children.
If the boyfriend is just bright in entrepreneurship, why should he go around such a big circle?
He actually had another plan. If Ruoxin is pregnant, he will not only get the dowry money as his own entrepreneurial capital, but he can also marry and have children.
In this way, even if the heart wants to leave him in the future, it will be reluctant to look at the child's face. Therefore, the boyfriend is just to trap his heart.
If the mind thinks that the breakup is right, if the man's heart is not right, there will be no good results with him.
No matter how good the two have had, they should learn to let go. The past days are still short, and the days ahead are still long.
3. Don't be impressed by his future
Girls mostly want a man to put himself in his future, which proves that he wants to have a future with himself.
Unfortunately, not all men's futures are worth girls' involvement in.
A waste man like Ruoxin's boyfriend is not worth taking Ruoxin for the rest of his life.
The boyfriend is talking beautifully now, as if these things are close at hand and are about to happen.
He did this no doubt in order to trap Ruoxin, hoping that this wonderful scene could impress Ruoxin and make her act according to her own plan.
Fortunately, if the mind is awake. Maybe she was once confused by her boyfriend's love words and actions, and in the end, she was still sober, so she thought of breaking up.
I am afraid that some girls are immersed in the fictional beauty that men give themselves, and the longer they spend with men, the deeper they fall.
The higher the sunk cost, the more reluctant to let go.
This is an important reason why many girls are trapped by waste men.
When a girl does not know enough about the true face of a man, some things really have to guard against him, which is the protection and responsibility of girls to themselves.
When you meet a waste man, the most important thing to do is turn around and run.
Whether you are willing or unwilling, this is the only way to save your future life. Don't cling to the past, because the road ahead is longer.
END
Author | Shi Qian, Marriage and Family Counselor, Psychological Evaluator, Member of Guangzhou Psychological Association, completed Gottman Marriage and Family Counseling Course (First Order), Long-term Study national Psychological Counselor Course, Emotional Focus Therapy (EFT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), focusing on the field of marriage and family counseling and therapy for five years. Firmly believe that love is an acquired ability, willing to accompany every you to grow with love and kindness.