1.
Husband: Did you dry the quilt when the child wet the bed yesterday?
Wife: Sunburned ❗️
Husband: The sun is so good today, how come the quilt is still wet, where did you dry it?
Wife: The sun in the circle of friends...
2.
The wife asked her husband: "Husband, have you had an affair?" ”
The husband replied, "How do you clean up!" ”
The wife said, "It's all right, I'll give you a hundred pieces if you say one." ”
Husband: "Forget it, I'm afraid I won't be able to spend it!" ”
3.
On a rainy day, I saw a beautiful girl in the library throwing her umbrella into the trash can, walking over to the male god shyly and saying: I don't have an umbrella, can you take me with you? How can this kind of thing be endured, I immediately picked up the umbrella and handed it to my sister: Sister, it is not easy for your family to earn money, how to throw an umbrella away?
4.
Today in the car, sitting next to a sister paper, she was making up makeup, the driver a sharp brake, lipstick was in the mouth at that time, in this unprepared emergency, the sister took the lipstick out of her mouth and was actually intact...
5.
"What made you fall completely in love with her?"
"I accidentally fell that day, and she very enthusiastically leaned down to help me pick up things, and asked me if I was okay, and acted very anxious and kind?"
"Are you saying you fell in love with her because of these wonderful qualities?"
"No, it's because when she leaned down I saw through the neckline that the chest was quite big, at least it was a D."
6.
That year, I just fell in love with my boyfriend. Once when we were out on an outing, I was suddenly anxious and could only solve it in the bushes. Afraid that someone would come, I said to my boyfriend: You are here to show me! I just pulled down my pants and found my boyfriend staring at me. I shouted angrily at him, "You're staring at him like this, how do I pull?" Boyfriend: "No... Didn't you tell me to look at it? ”
7.
On a blind date, I dressed very cleanly.
The girl asked: Do you usually wear such a clean dress?
Me: Well, what's wrong?
Sister: Oh, that's scattered, we don't fit.
I asked her what was wrong?
She said: We are married, and we have to wash your clothes at both ends of the three days.
8.
Sometimes you want to make an appointment, but you accidentally fall in love. Sometimes you want to have a good relationship, but find that it is just a cannon, the world is so big, the bed is so small, the two people in the bed were once so good, but they can't get old. How I wish that when I was drinking, someone next to me looked at me affectionately and said softly, drink less, hurt the body, but my mother forced herself to have a pen next to her yelling, "You are paralyzed, raise fish!" Finished drinking..."..." Life is so unpredictable
9.
Today I asked my boyfriend (male friend just don't think about it) to drink coffee, drank twenty dollars, only to find out when I checked out that I didn't bring a wallet, this goods directly took out twenty dollars to help me pay, is this the plot of the idol drama? This product must have liked me.
Then he said, "Go back and return me thirty." ”
10.
Friends asked me what it was like to have a crush, and subconsciously replied: it was like seeing a favorite toy in the store, wanting to buy, not having enough money, trying to save money, looking back when I found that the price had risen, saving more desperately, and when I felt almost the same, I went back to find that I had been bought. Hopefully I won't see this toy in the garbage heap, or I'll still pick it up.