Text | Three threes
This article was first published at ten o'clock
Zhu Dan was scolded again.
Zhu Dan, who came back after childbirth, appeared in the "Man Who Does Housework 3" program.
She was wearing a long skirt, smiling and in good shape.
As a result, all kinds of harsh voices continue to emerge from the barrage:
"Why did you get so much fat when you had a second child?"
"Why don't you lose weight and then record the show?"
"The lump of flesh on your stomach is so obvious..."
At the age of 39, she gave birth to her second child, and she is indeed visiblely rounded with the naked eye.
But for a postpartum mother, this is all too normal.
In the face of these malicious ridicule, Zhu Dan posted a set of photo photos in response on Weibo.
In the photo, she wears a long tight skirt and shows her bloated waist and abdomen.
She said:
"To be a second-born mother, but also to become a happy fat mother."
The flesh on my body is my badge for giving birth. ”
Under the comments of this Weibo, many people support Zhu Dan.
Because this kind of body confidence has disappeared from the life of the postpartum mother for too long.
After giving birth to the baby, Zhang Xinyi became fat because of her body, and she was once unconfident and even depressed;
When the actor Ma Li was pregnant, she was nearly 190 pounds at her height, and her mood was often low;
Big S was so desperate that he didn't dare to go out for a long time because of the big change in body shape after childbirth;
……
These female stars under the scrutiny of perfect body shape cannot get out of body anxiety.
Many ordinary postpartum mothers are also trapped in it.
Every postpartum mother
Both have been uneasy about postpartum physical changes
Pregnant in October, she gave birth.
For a family, children mean new life and joy.
For women, it is a watershed in life.
What separates is between being a mother and being a mother.
Before becoming a mother, the melon face, large long legs, slim waist, white skin and beautiful beauty.
After becoming a mother, bucket waist, big thick legs, double chin, melasma... It's going to follow.
It seems that the change of the two is a true portrayal of many mothers.
The changes in the body are also constantly aggravating and amplifying the anxiety of mothers.
Even from the moment of pregnancy.
I have a colleague who was pregnant with swollen hands and swollen feet and a face full of spots.
During that time, she became extremely inferior, and did not dare to take pictures, let alone look in the mirror.
People around her advised her: "It's good to unload the goods." ”
Will it really get better after having a baby?
Of course not.
I know that a mother said that after she was discharged from the hospital, she looked in the mirror and found that it was uglier than when she was pregnant.
Looking at the loose belly, the black and thick pregnancy line, the navel getting bigger and blacker...
She didn't hold back for a moment and stood in front of the mirror crying.
It is not that the people around her dislike her, but that she cannot accept this great change for a while.
In particular, everything around you is a reminder of the fact that you are out of shape.
When the clothes you bought before can't be worn, you will feel lost;
When you see that other mothers have not changed their body shape after childbirth, they will feel inferior;
When you stand up with a big belly and are mistaken by others for having a second child, you will doubt yourself.
Visible is fleshy, sagging, dull skin.
What is invisible is leakage of urine, uterine prolapse, sagging chest, hair loss... and other sequelae.
The various traces left by these bodies are always destroying the self-confidence of postpartum mothers.
Thin after birth is a minority
Getting back in shape is a long process
How long does it take to regain shape after giving birth?
This is the most concerned issue for many postpartum mothers after giving birth.
This pressure comes from themselves, as well as from all kinds of exaggerated publicity around them about postpartum body shape.
The postpartum repair ad says:
Mothers who know how to live exquisitely should be a beautiful mother who still absorbs the return rate after the baby is born.
Various notices read:
XX female star pregnancy does not show belly, immediately thin after giving birth, full of girlish feeling.
When these propaganda are overwhelming, the concept conveyed to everyone is:
After giving birth, you can quickly become thin and beautiful.
When everyone thinks so, the time left for postpartum mothers to lose weight will only get shorter and shorter.
Some time ago, a reader left a message in the background.
Three months after she had given birth, her husband said to her:
"How come you're still so fat, it looks like you're 200 pounds."
That sentence of 200 pounds, her little remaining self-confidence was also destroyed.
What they saw:
Whether the female star gave birth to a baby or a slender girl, ordinary women have become bloated mothers.
What they can't see:
Behind the female stars are nannies, sisters-in-law, nursery teachers, nutritionists, fitness instructors, etc. to serve them.
They certainly don't see it:
After the average mother gives birth, she feeds, burps, sleeps, does housework... 24 hours a day, even the shaft rotation, sleep time is not enough.
All they know is:
You can't get back in shape quickly, it's because you don't work hard enough.
Therefore, under the wrapping of this anxiety, some people go to the waist, and some people go to liposuction.
Not long ago, I also saw a surgery called "abdominal wall plastic surgery" on Weibo.
This surgery, mainly for postpartum mothers, can achieve the effect of rapid belly contraction.
During the operation, not only the excess skin is cut off, but also the excess fat is sucked out, and the surgical wound is larger than that of the caesarean section.
The risk of surgery is also high, with fat may necrosis and the skin may sagging repeatedly.
Paying such a big price is just getting thinner faster.
The facts are:
Only a few people recover quickly after childbirth, and most people go through a long recovery period.
Big S once advised Little S not to "hurt people" anymore in the show:
"Pregnancy and getting fat is really normal, and after giving birth to such a thin only you,
You preach about everyone, and all women are forced to act like little S. ”
Pregnancy weight will increase, the stomach will not retract quickly after giving birth, and stretch marks may not disappear.
The accumulated fat, the open pelvis, the open belly, it takes a year or even years to recover.
Even if the body is restored, the body cannot return to the level before pregnancy.
This is the truth of procreation.
Every woman has experienced nine deaths in order to have a child.
The harm caused to a woman's body by childbirth should be valued and seen more than the body examination.
Embrace changes in the body
Be a confident mom
I believe that every woman is a child born with the greatest love.
However, the anxiety and inferiority brought about by those unexpected physical changes are also real.
I've also felt sad about getting fat because I was pregnant, and I've touched my sagging belly.
For half a year, I didn't go shopping, try on new clothes, and I didn't have the heart to dress up.
The whole person becomes particularly depressed.
Later, a girlfriend woke me up.
She was the least anxious person I had ever met, living confidently and authentically.
After giving birth, she developed a nephrotic syndrome.
Later, I could only continue to take hormone drugs, and finally gained more than 20 pounds.
So far, she has not lost weight.
But she was never ashamed to reveal her true body because of someone else's "perfect" body.
She still loves to take photos in the circle of friends, even if she is bloated, she also smiles brightly and confidently.
I once asked her, do you regret having a baby when you see yourself in this shape?
She smiled and said to me:
"I don't regret it, I gave up being a goddess for the sake of my children,
But in the child's heart, I will always be her unique goddess. ”
Hearing this sentence, I was instantly relieved.
My negativity, my anxiety, is actually imposed on myself.
I care too much about what other people think, feel like I'm not good enough, not thin enough, and recover too slowly.
The more you think like this, the more negative you are, the more inferior you are.
Admittedly, the belly of the child will be loose and the body will collapse, and the stretch marks will always be there.
But these are not the traces of the birth of a new life.
It is also evidence that we are closely connected to our children.
We are willing to sacrifice for the sake of our children, and children give us healing and joy.
That's enough.
We may not be able to avoid the consequences of postpartum obesity, but we can choose what attitude to face.
Even with sagging skin, we can be active mothers.
Even if we are no longer beautiful after giving birth, we can be a confident mother.
Some time ago, on foreign social media, many celebrity mothers posted photos of themselves after childbirth.
Not a sloping figure with a convex and upturned S-shaped figure, but a full screen of raised belly and a sagging belly.
Photo/ From "Those Things in Britain"
In the face of the deformation of the body, they have no trouble, only self-confidence.
Even if the stomach does not return to the pre-pregnancy, every body that gives birth to a new life is commendable.
They show their bodies, also to tell all postpartum mothers:
Whatever it becomes after childbirth, it's normal.
The fat that is hoarded does not grow in a day, nor can it be reduced in a day.
Ignore those sounds from the outside world and follow the rhythm of your body's recovery.
Don't be harsh on yourself, take your time.
A "like", I hope that all mothers can be confident of themselves, calmly accept and actively face the changes in the body; I also hope that the mockery of the pregnant mother's figure will never appear again.