<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">01</h1>
My name is Shi Yuzhen, 58 years old, from Tangshan, Hebei Province.
My husband is four years younger than me, and I am in the same place, we have a son and a daughter, and we have all started a family.
This year is the thirtieth year of our marriage, it is reasonable to say that after so many years of ups and downs, the relationship should be very stable, but this is not the case.
Our old two are really two days a small quarrel, three days a big quarrel, more and more found that each other's personalities can not be compatible at all.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">02</h1>
Since we got married, in order to make a living, we have started a business, opening a small store for tobacco, alcohol and side food, my husband is responsible for running errands to buy goods, and I am responsible for watching the store sell things.
Although it is a small business, it does not make much money, and after January, it is only enough for basic living expenses, but there is no way, people always have to find something to do, modern society, how difficult it is to work.
So, day after day, year after year, the two of us have been running this small shop very well, and the basic people who come to buy things are repeat customers.
At that time, I thought that if life could continue like this, there was no illness or disaster in the body, both children and daughters, and the income was relatively stable, which should be regarded as a kind of bland happiness!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">03</h1>
But then again, why are we so old and still arguing all day?
Mainly the husband has a bad problem, love to drink, it can be said that alcoholism is like life, once he encounters any troubles or setbacks in life, he will definitely find a friend to drink for the first time, each time he drinks more than 50 degrees of liquor, and basically go home in the middle of the night, not drunk.
When I came back, I began to drink and go crazy, vomiting, scolding, beating, crying, making a big fuss, and every time I made a fuss, I was scared and my body trembled, and I cried quietly, like a child who was scolded by his parents, hiding in the corner and shivering.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">04</h1>
Such a long time has passed, I think life is so boring, it is simply too painful!
In the most desperate and sad time, I especially like to play WeChat drift bottle, one day, in the drift bottle met a man, called Cai Yusong, Tianjin, 64 years old this year, chatted for a long time, familiar with the network, I simply called him old Cai.
Indeed, I felt that I had come to chat with Lao Cai, so in the next forty days and nights, chatting with Lao Cai became my only spiritual sustenance.
Through chatting, I learned that Lao Cai is also a bitter person, his wife has cerebral thrombosis, and suddenly one day when cooking at home, he fainted and fell to the ground, Lao Cai hurriedly called 120 first aid, and when he was sent to the hospital, his wife's eyes were already closed.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">05</h1>
After the death of his wife, Lao Cai has been living alone for 12 years now.
I asked Old Cai: Then you are not considering finding another wife?
Old Cai pondered for a while, and did not answer my question directly, but said, it is not easy to find another one! In this life, it is like finding a needle in a haystack to find a needle in a haystack!
I echoed: Yes! It's hard to find a soul mate! But this may be the happiest thing in the world!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">06</h1>
In this way, I chatted more and more speculatively with Lao Cai, chatting with him, and I seemed to feel that my lost youth was back! Because I can feel the joy and joy in my heart.
My husband is usually a very sensitive person, and he should be able to feel that my time is different from before:
Drinking late home, the phone WeChat is not urged; every time I come back in the middle of the night, drunk as mud, I am not nagging like before; usually I do not sigh and sigh, complaining about the sky, but refreshed, happy and happy!
Oh, yes! I just want to find another way of life and never want to live this kind of hard life again!
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">07</h1>
To be honest, in the past few years, I have always planned to divorce my husband.
Every night he finished his drunken madness, I couldn't sleep all night, my two eyes stared at the ceiling, until dawn, the tears had already dried up, and there was only deep despair and helplessness in my heart, and I made up my mind many times: Don't do such a marriage, tomorrow I must go to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce!
But when I woke up the next morning, as soon as I saw my husband's haggard face full of vicissitudes, my heart softened.
Oh, yes! I have lived with this man for so many years, no matter what, the two still have feelings, how can they say that they are separated! Or will it be over!
So, every time, I swallowed the idea of divorce back rawly.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">08</h1>
During this time, I was still in full swing with Old Cai, before, I felt that I was so old, I already had no love throbbing!
However, since I came into contact with Lao Cai, my thinking has completely changed.
Now, I keep telling myself a word: older people also have the right to pursue love! If the current marriage is not happy, then it is better to let go and let both parties pursue their own happiness.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">09</h1>
My husband did see my change and once questioned me: Is it a new man behind his back?
I did not hide it, but told the truth, saying that I found an old man on the Internet, and they called each other very much, but I was not cheating in marriage, and if there was no appearance of him, I would definitely divorce you, which was sooner or later, because such a marriage was too depressing for me to accept.
I thought that according to my husband's usual grumpy temper, he would definitely pull me up and slap me twice, in fact, I had already made such psychological preparations, if this is the case, I can make up my mind to divorce him faster.
But no, he was suddenly silent, burying his head deep into the crook of his arm, and did not move for most of the day.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">10</h1>
To be honest, my husband's posture is the first time I have seen it.
Because our daily life is to make a big fuss, even a big fight, this seems to have become the mode of getting along between the two of us, and this time, he is surprisingly quiet, and none of the tricks I think of are useful.
In this way, I felt a little guilty and felt that I should not treat him in this way.
In fact, I didn't mean to threaten, but I really felt that our days could not go on and wanted to escape, so everything was out of the way, and I simply broke the jar and broke it.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">11</h1>
Early the next morning, when I got up, I found that the table had already laid out milk and egg cakes, was this made by my husband?
I couldn't believe my eyes, because in thirty years, he had never cooked a meal once, and no matter how busy and tired he was, I made it for him to eat.
Casually open WeChat, a long message came into view, it was sent by her husband:
"Wife, I'm sorry I let you down!" I know, you tolerated me a lot, I'm sorry you and the children, you chatted with netizens, I don't blame you, because I made you completely desperate!
But wife, I hope you can give me one last chance, I must quit drinking, spend the rest of my life with you, and use the rest of my life to hurt you and love you! ”
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right">12</h1>
After reading my husband's message, my tears have long since flown.
In the blur of tears, I seem to see him supporting this family with his thin body, and never half a word of complaint, he always silently pays selflessly for this family, when he is in a bad mood and feels the pressure of life, he thinks of paralyzing himself by drinking, and he feels that after drinking drunk, he can forget all the pain.
At this moment, I found that for the first time in so many years, I understood my husband, and suddenly felt that he was the most pitiful person.
Resolutely, I picked up my mobile phone and sent a WeChat message to Lao Cai: "Old Cai, let's end it!" May you have a happy future! Start your own twilight love! ”
Then, quickly deleted his WeChat.