Everyone has a contrasting mentality. When shopping, this psychological manifestation is the most obvious. When we buy something, we always compare the same type of products together and shop around.
Not necessarily to see which one is the cheapest, everyone is an independent individual, independent individual means that everyone's thinking is different, what they like, what they care about, are not the same, maybe it is to see which one is better quality, maybe it is to care about which brand is louder, or which style is more beautiful, or which one is more cost-effective.
However, no matter what you care about, you want to get what you think is the best.
Not only shopping, we will always refer to other people's lives in our daily lives. Words and deeds, eating and wearing, even if you don't want to, you will involuntarily compare.
If you feel that others are not as good as you, maybe this gap will make your happiness index higher, and if you feel that you are not as good as others, this psychological gap will also make you feel extremely depressed and lost.
People are comparing all the time, even if you don't want to compare, what you say is that as long as you feel that you are living well, other people's lives have nothing to do with me, but in your heart you will always carelessly take the life of which person as a reference for your own life, envy and envy each other, obsess over each other's life, always want to be worse than the past, at least not worse than the other party.
This may also be a kind of human nature, and there is no way to do it.
It's universal, but that doesn't mean that comparative psychology is good, it's right. Comparative psychology, in fact, will make people live very tired, I think, you should understand what I mean, because you must have felt the confusion caused by that comparison.
Compare prices, can't afford to buy, can't get things, ask for and can't only make you feel lost, in order to compare other people's lives, pay those who are fundamentally useless to their own lives but will only cause a drag on the price, will only make people tired, others have, I also want to have, even if it is useless, I must have, can't help but want to compare, just like the devil, can not restrain their own thoughts, how can not let people tired, how can not let people get tired?
More importantly, excessive comparison will make people unable to really feel happy, because there are too many aspects that can be compared, it is difficult to fill the gap, and people can never be truly satisfied, and they have been chasing and comparing others, they cannot really see the essence of their own lives, nor can they recognize their own positioning.
If you are not happy, you will not feel happy, but what you dare not do in life is actually pursuing the goal of personal happiness, but it will make people short-sighted and will make people unable to see what they want.
What is needed. Want everything, want everything, may not be able to grasp anything, nothing can really belong to you, the result may be life lost.
Du Yue (pseudonym) some time ago under the introduction of friends, made a new girlfriend, this girl looks very sweet, the personality is very gentle, always talking loud and angry, is Du Yue's favorite type, therefore, soon, Du Yue fell in love.
Girls are good at everything, just let Du Yue feel very mysterious, for example, the girl's circle of friends, has not been open to Du Yue, Du Yue asked the girl, the girl only said that she never sent a circle of friends, nor did she look at the circle of friends, but in fact, it is not, once Du Yue secretly saw the girl's mobile phone interface, the circle of friends flashed by, but saw that there was content in her circle of friends.
He also found that the girl had two mobile phones, and once during a meal, the girl's mobile phone rang, and it turned out that it was not the one he usually saw, but the other, but the girl told him that it was only the need for work, and it was equipped with two mobile phones.
Moreover, the girl never shows him the contents of the mobile phone, and he jokingly asks if the girl has any secrets, and the girl is just a mysterious smile.
After work, the girl will not contact Du Yue, send a message to the girl, she will hardly return on time, as soon as she asks, the girl said that she was too tired at work, asleep, or confused without a mobile phone, did not see the message.
Maybe people have this kind of psychological existence, the more the girl is elusive, the more Du Yue feels that this girl is full of charm. After talking for four months, Du Yue, as a boyfriend, still felt far away from the girl.
But when getting along with the girl, Du Yue also felt that this girl was really good, simply his perfect dream lover, as for some of the girl's actions, Du Yue automatically understood that the girl had said before, she had been hurt by feelings, so she couldn't believe others. Du Yue just felt more sorry for this girl and wanted to be better for this girl.
The girl's birthday is approaching, Du Yue began to be busy preparing gifts for the girl, the day before his birthday, he bought a lipstick set box, gave it to the girl, the girl accepted, and also kissed Du Yue happily, so that Du Yue felt that he had finally done the right thing, and finally got closer to the girl.
But when Du Yue wanted to celebrate the girl's birthday, the girl refused: "My parents are waiting for me at home to eat, and they have promised them in advance, sorry, but thank you." ”
Since he was eating with his parents, Du Yue had nothing to say, just told the girl that it was okay, and let the girl relax and celebrate her birthday.
At 0:00 a.m., Du Yue knew that the girl had already gone to bed, and even if she didn't sleep, she wouldn't give him a message back, but he still sent a message to the girl. Only this time, he changed his avatar to the appearance of an Aladdin lamp, and then sent a 5200 red envelope to the girl.
Having said that, happy birthday, fulfill one of your wishes, want to buy a bag, you can get started. Unexpectedly, the girl actually received this red envelope in seconds, and after a while, she returned a message, but it was withdrawn in two seconds.
But Du Yue still saw it. The message was "I knew Lao Zhang was the best for me" followed by a loving and rose expression.
Du Yue had been waiting for the girl's reply, and had been staying on the chat interface with the girl, so he could see it.
Before he could return to the taste, the girl re-sent a series of messages, all of which were small talk, as well as thanks, trying to brush up on the withdrawal message, originally Du Yue did not think much about it, so wanted to cover up, so that he had to think more.
He did not hide that he saw the information, directly asked the girl, and the girl, the performance is quite natural, only said that she was shaking her hands, typing the wrong word, but "Du" and "Zhang" are not words that can be entered wrong, not to mention how unnatural the girl was before.
Who is Lao Zhang, he does not want to think about it anymore, he now finally figures out why the girl always behaves so mysteriously, it turns out that this is a wide net, he did not take long, he decided to endure the pain to the girl to break up.
It's just that this red envelope, as well as the previous ones, can only be regarded as spending money to buy a lesson and play in the water.
Because of a retracted message, Du Yue and his girlfriend proposed to break up. He is indeed in love with his girlfriend, even if the time together is not very long, he still moved his heart and used his true feelings to manage this relationship. He didn't know how to express his love for his girlfriend, he could only use the simplest and most rude way to transfer a large amount of red envelopes to his girlfriend to coax his girlfriend to be happy, although it was very clumsy, although it was vulgar, but it was enough to see that Du Yue really cared about this relationship, this girl.
Du Yue thought so, but the girl obviously did not think the same as him. Even if Du Yue was only speculating, he did not have any substantial evidence, but from all kinds of indications, this girl was indeed not the only one du Yue was in contact with.
Just look at some details, this girl has never opened her circle of friends to Du Yue, nor has she disclosed Du Yue's existence to friends and family, and Du Yue has also seen that this girl has two mobile phones, which has always maintained a sense of mystery. Then, after the red packet was sent, the girl received the red packet in seconds, and the second returned a message and withdrew it.
Even if the girl did not admit Du Yue's speculation, all kinds of signs still showed that the girl was not simple. Perhaps, Du Yue really thinks too much, but this girl's interpersonal relationship is not as simple as Du Yue imagined, even if it is not, it is also that this girl actually does not like and care so much about Du Yue, and Du Yue's sincerity is undoubtedly wrongly paid.
We don't know what the facts are, maybe only the girl can know, but no matter what the truth is, some people today are indeed confused by the comparative psychology.
Daily comparison, in fact, harmless, even if it is not good or wrong, but no one will say that it is wrong to do so, after all, everyone is like this, even if the normal is pathological, it is not good to say more. You are willing to compare with people, willing to define your own happiness as compared to others, that is all personal freedom, willing to do whatever you want, even if you are not happy or unhappy, you can only suffer and digest on your own.
Feelings this kind of thing, never used to measure, can only choose to accept or not accept, does not exist, I pick a feeling that feels better, and then I will think that it is not a good feeling, this is disrespect for the other party, but also disrespect for feelings.
Of course, you can choose, you can make requests, you can find a feeling that you think is the most suitable and best on your own terms, as long as the time does not coincide, it is no problem. It's not a comparison, it's just a search.
Only the matter of feelings can never be compared. Feelings are not items, talking about feelings is not buying vegetables in the market, it is a heart, you can compare goods with three, but you should not compare feelings with three.