A woman is happy or unhappy, and doesn't feel much alone. Once compared to other women, "who is happier" is clear at a glance.
Just like Minglan, Rulan and Molan in the TV series "Know It or Not", they are also the daughters of the Sheng family: Rulan's mother was born, and Molan's father loved her, but Minglan seemed to have nothing.
However, this does not affect Minglan's best marriage.
What kind of woman is happy in marriage?
From the plot of "Know It or Not", we already have the answer.
01
Mo Lan - climbing the magnate, the bamboo basket to draw water is empty
Among the three sisters of the Sheng family, Mo Lan's marriage was undoubtedly the most failed.
This is due to her distorted values.
He admired Xiao Gongye without self-control, and in the blink of an eye, he and Liang Liulang frowned.
In the end, seeing that the Liang family chose Minglan, his "countess dream" was about to be shattered, and he took the risk of having an affair with Liang Liulang, which provoked the anger of Old Master Sheng in front of the court, and promised to beat this unfilial daughter to death.
Such a violation of the norm, without the slightest concern for the reputation of himself and his sisters, and even at the expense of letting the family "carry the black pot".
There was never the word "family" in Mo Lan's eyes, only personal interests.
All this blames her for having a ghostly mother, Lin Xiaoniang.
Lin Xiaoniang was originally the daughter of a sinner, and because she was desperate, she entered the Sheng family as a concubine, otherwise with her temperament, she might still want to be a marquis.
To Old Master Sheng, Lin Xiaoniang has never touched the true feelings.
Ironically, scheming women tend to be more pleasing to men, and she is in stark contrast to the hot and straightforward grand lady.
Lin Xiaoniang only used three words and two words to firmly tie the heart of Old Master Sheng, causing the big lady to often eat "closed door soup", which is a typical "green tea" pie, Lin Xiaoniang deeply knows how to use weakness to stimulate men's desire for protection.
In order to gain favor, he began to fantasize about marrying his daughter into the rich.
Mo Lan loved Little Grandpa, and lin Xiaoniang not only did not wake her up after learning about it, but also shamelessly let Old Master Sheng match her.
Fortunately, the old master of the Sheng family still has self-knowledge.
How could a concubine of a five-pin official be worthy of being the only son of the Duke of Guogong? A toad wants to eat swan meat.
Immediately extinguished the delusions of the mother and daughter duo, claiming that they had found a suitable candidate for Mo Lan.
However, when she learned that the so-called "suitable candidate" was a poor talent, Lin Xiaoniang immediately objected, did not listen to The explanation of Old Master Sheng at all, and did the absurd thing of secretly helping Mo Lan and Liang Liulang to have an adulterous affair.
It is precisely because of such a greedy and vain mother that Mo Lan's marriage will look beautiful, but in fact it is vulnerable.
Mo Lan underestimated the man's style, Liang Liulang's concubines in the family rubbed shoulders, how could they spoil her alone, it was ridiculous to be as spoiled and proud as Lin Xiaoniang.
When a woman chooses a prodigal son, she must be mentally prepared: money and people, you can only get the same, sometimes even the same.
Besides, Mo Lan didn't love Liang Liulang at all, only the identity and status he brought to herself, but she should never, shouldn't learn Lin Xiaoniang's old tricks, and wanted to kill the concubine Chunke and the child in her belly.
When Liang Liulang learned of these two things from mo lan's dowry:
First, Mo Lan was pretending to meet in Yuqingguan at that time and deliberately seducing himself;
Second, Mo Lan killed her own child, and the difficult birth of the fetus was carefully planned by her;
Mo Lan was completely "beaten into the cold palace", and the husband and wife love existed in name only.
A woman who deceives herself and has a heart like a snake and scorpion, even if she is as beautiful as a fairy, men do not want to touch it again.
Moreover, Lin Xiaoniang has always been a "concubine", and the skills that Mo Lan learned from her are also the next means for concubines to compete for favors. Mo Lan was ignorant of the measures and abilities required by the noble housewife of the high gate.
So this is the right wife, she is not good.
02
Rulan - May the hearts of one person be won, and the white heads will not be separated
In the Sheng family, those who oppose Mo Lan everywhere are like Lan.
Although this concubine's mouth is not forgiving, her heart is kind and simple, just like Minglan said: "In our courtyard, everyone has grown eighteen crystal exquisite hearts and nineteen pairs of twisted intestines, only you, dashing and cheerful." ”
From the fact that she secretly promised Yan Wenjing, a poor scholar who could not look down on Mo Lan, it was clear that this girl did not seek the word "rich" in her eyes.
Fortunately, she reincarnated well and cast into the belly of Wang Da's wife, and the identity of "Sheng Family Concubine" saved her a lot of trouble, and if she and Mo Lan changed positions, they would definitely suffer a lot.
Do not seek to be noble in front of others, but only to raise eyebrows. Rulan's choice is also a choice that most women will make.
Her married life is still relatively happy, depending on three points:
1. Although the husband's family is ordinary, the husband's efforts to obtain a meritorious name are in line with the requirements of the Sheng family's "Qingliu Mendi", which is also the reason why Sheng Laoye looks at this son-in-law.
2, the strength of the mother's family is better than the in-laws' family, which is more important than the first point. With Rulan's personality, she couldn't stand it, it just so happened that the Sheng family, whether it was "financial strength" or "power", was above the Wen family, and the in-laws had to look at the face of the mother-in-law no matter how bad they were, and did not dare to pick her thorn too much.
3, their own life is transparent, such as Lan's simplicity is not ignorant of the world. On the contrary, she has seen people's hearts at home since she was a child, whether it is the disgust of Mo Lan and Lin Xiaoniang's clever words, or the bluntness of her father's partiality, she has always maintained the principle of simple life and does not want to get involved in the fight.
Therefore, she will not obey the orders of her parents to marry Gu Tingye, a new upstart of the dynasty, she is willing to win the hearts of a person from beginning to end, and the white head is not separated, rather than being a marquis.
Ru Lan seems to be stupid, but in fact, she is the one who lives the most crisply.
Knowing that he did not have Minglan's wisdom and patience, he would not take on people and things that would tire him.
Choosing a less beautiful in-laws, even if you lose face in front of your sisters, you have a comfortable life, better than anything.
So, if a woman clearly knows what kind of emotions she needs and what kind of other half she wants to find, then her marriage must have a goal, and it must not be bad.
03
Minglan - always look forward, keep the clouds open to see the moon
Minglan was able to "counterattack" from the three sisters, and the former little lady became the marquise.
She has lost her mother and brother since she was a child, and she is not loved by her father, but fortunately she has a good grandmother, otherwise she would not have survived five episodes.
A little girl whose mother's family has no power, even if she has the protection of her grandmother, must be careful in her words and deeds, and must not fall into a little quarrel with people.
Therefore, he will frequently refuse the overtures of the little grandfather, obviously having him in his heart, but he cannot show it. Because she knew very well that the disparity in identity would not lead to good results unless the person was worth her opening up.
She did go out.
It's just a pity that she is interested in it, and others are also red-eyed, and that person is more capable than her. There are too many things that have no reason to be separated, and Minglan does not think about it, but can only look forward.
People who have stopped thinking at the beginning of the love sinus, in the days to come, what is not moved, is not important.
When her grandmother intended to match her with He Hongwen, she agreed.
If it were not for Gu Tingye's turmoil, Minglan would have married into the He family.
At first glance, He Hongwen is suitable:
His ancestors practiced medicine, and his medical skills had small achievements, plus the two grandmothers were family friends, and their character was clear.
I am also intimate with Minglan, and with him, it is still easy not to say that I am rich and noble, and my life is stable.
However, he hesitated on the matter of Cousin Cao, which made Minglan chill and retire from marriage.
But carefully investigated, He Hongwen is not a good match for Minglan.
Gu Tingye once said this about Minglan, which was very correct.
"You are a clever little liar, you have been suffocating, you have been born until now, you have been wronged, you are not accustomed to the etiquette of those concubines, but you have to obey, you are obviously excellent in everything, but you are low everywhere, you have not dared to take the lead, so you have found a He family that can't go up and down."
Only those who really understand Minglan can see this.
Playing Xiao Dare and Gu Tingye, who is bigger than himself, throws pots, does not accept defeat to help the big sister win the hired goose, and fights against the crowd on the polo field to help his friend Yanran regain the golden noodles.
All this shows that Minglan has the strength to take the lead.
However, the mother and father taught everything not to come out of the head from childhood, they are different from the three sisters above, Hualan Rulan has status, Mo Lan is grace, but he has nothing.
Coupled with the death of her mother, Minglan understands that if she wants to live in this family, she must endure it.
Then again, Minglan's intelligence, forbearance and ability, Gu Tingye had already seen it in his eyes, so he secretly decided that Minglan was his good match.
Met someone who really understood her, Minglan was lucky.
Gu Tingye is an excellent man, and the Minglan he identifies as an extremely good woman is actually an extremely good woman. It seems that Minglan is like "climbing high" Gu Tingye, but in fact, Minglan has become the main backbone of Gu Tingye and a woman who is willing to protect her life.
Therefore, a woman's appearance and family background are important, but the ability to deal with things personally, the wisdom and planning of the perspective, are the permanent guarantee of marriage.
From the marriage choices of Mo Lan, Ru Lan and Ming Lan, there are three points worth learning from:
1, fame and fortune is a reference condition for many people to choose to enter marriage, but in reality, like "Mo Lan", fame and fortune are only for marriages without intentions, and often will not be happy in the later stage.
2, it seems that the idea is simple, but in fact, it is very transparent. For example, like "Rulan", she knows what kind of conditions to choose for men to match herself most appropriately.
The man that Rulan chooses, the family lineage is not expensive in a potential stock, the strength of the mother's family also makes the husband's family respect for themselves, and the two people themselves have a good emotional foundation, so Rulan's happiness is very stable.
3, is the gold will always shine. Gu Er knew that Minglan was a piece of gold, saw Minglan's wisdom and pattern, and gave Minglan the greatest trust and support.
Find a person who knows and cherishes each other, really understands himself, when the world misunderstands himself, and he stands by his side without hesitation, such a marriage, I am afraid that we are the most envious, such as Lan's little day is higher than a paragraph, feel sorry for each other, hand in hand, both husband and wife, but also a confidant.
Therefore, marriage is not only a destination for a woman, but also a place where a woman's talent, ability, and wisdom are displayed.
Happiness or unhappiness is up to the woman herself.
If you encounter difficult problems in the process of getting along with your lover, welcome private messages.
I like to talk about women's emotions and women's growth, "C Qian said women", let's talk about life.