Collected stories – old crooks, long-haired dogs going to school, farmers telling stories

Trick old liars

There was a man named Zhang Zhichi in Xingning County, Guangdong Province, who took a boat down to Shantou on this day and met a man on the boat. This person is wearing a long shirt, wearing a felt hat, and the two strokes of the eight-character hu xiu on the mouth are particularly eye-catching, and Zhang Zhichi can see at a glance that this person is an old liar. Sure enough, the old liar slipped around with a pair of thief's eyes, and after a while, he slipped onto Zhang Zhichi's body. Zhang Zhichi saw this and secretly scolded: You old thief bone, I must cure you today! Therefore, he deliberately took a bamboo hat to cover his body, took out the silver from the small leather basket, and counted it one by one. His actions were immediately noticed by the old crook, who was determined to make a business with the countryman.

Soon arrived in Shantou, Zhang Zhichi was looking for an inn, a glance at the old swindler also followed, he did not move, came to the "Hanjiang Inn", asked the treasurer for a single room. After completing the formalities, he handed the small leather basket to the treasurer and said, "I have silver in my leather basket, please keep it for me, and I will go to the boat to pick up my father." I once told my father that when I arrived in Shantou, I would live in your treasure number, and in case he did not wait for me to pick me up and came running by himself, I asked you to hand him this leather basket and take him to the room. The treasurer shook his hand and said, "How does this work, we don't know your father!" Zhang Zhichi smiled: "This is not difficult, my name is Zhang Long, my father's name is Zhang Qi, and Qi is strange in his beard." Everyone had beards on both sides, but my father only had a beard on the left, and the right side was stripped naked because of the itch of the lips. You see, such a strange person, who can be seen at a glance, will he still admit mistakes?" The treasurer felt reasonable, so he put away the small leather basket for him.

Zhang Zhichi and the treasurer said, all heard by the old liar, he saw Zhang Zhichi leave, quickly ran to the nearby barber shop, regardless of whether people agreed or disagreed, picked up a razor, looked in the mirror, shaved the right beard, leaving the left side of the skimming. The barbers thought he was a lunatic and laughed.

The old deceiver did not care about the ridicule of others, hurriedly ran back to the "Hanjiang Inn", and said to the treasurer: "My name is Zhang Qi, my son's name is Zhang Long, and I have opened a room in baohao, please give me the small leather basket and take me to the room." The treasurer glanced at him and took out the small leather basket. The old deceiver hurriedly reached out to pick him up, but the treasurer looked at him again and put the small leather basket back inside. The treasurer said, "No, you are not Zhang Long's father!" The old liar laughed and said, "I am Zhang Long's father, I can't be wrong, you see, I don't have a beard on my right!" This is my unique mark. The treasurer said, "Yes, Zhang Long originally said that his father did not have a beard on the right side, but then he came back to correct it, saying that his father did not have a beard on the left, and that there was a liar in his village, and it was the right side that did not have a beard!" ah! Could it be that you are—" The old liar knew he had been deceived, and as he argued, he slipped out of the store.

The old swindler went out of the store, touched his beloved beard only one side, the heart was painful and angry and annoyed, the money was not cheated, but the beard was lost, how to see people? I had no choice but to run to the barber shop again and shave off my left beard.

(Shi Ju collection and collation)

Long-haired dogs go to school

Gordon grew up idle and stupid, and he went to school for many years, and he couldn't even write his own name. He was also a vicious and insatiable guy, especially for those who worked for his family.

Gordon has a hobby of dog-loving. In his eyes, a good dog is many times more precious than a man. Of the large group of dogs he had kept, he loved a long-haired dog named Gillian the most, and loved it to the point of madness, and as soon as he talked about it, he pestered people to brag endlessly that he had grown so big that he had never seen a dog as smart as Gillian.

One of the people who worked in the Gordon family was a man named Maltini, who was a very intelligent man. One day, Gordon said to Maltini, "If there really were a school for dogs, I would have to send my aunt to school." Maltini listened, and by chance, decided to take the opportunity to cure this abominable fellow. He pretended to be surprised and said, "Well, don't you know, there are already schools for dogs." ”

Gordon said in disbelief: you, where is this happening? ”

Maltini said, "Of course there is! Don't you believe it? I know this best, and this is what my godfather said to me. My godfather lived in that forest, and he said that in this school, dogs still learn to talk. ”

"Really?" Gordon jumped up from his chair in excitement and asked in utter amazement, "I said Maltini, so you know where this school is?"

"Look what you said, I can find that place with my eyes closed!" But even if you go farther, you will have to pay twenty crowns for a trip to the car. ”

Gordon brushed his lips, "Twenty crowns is what!" Hurry up and pack up, and send my aunt now. Yes, in addition to the road fee, you bring another hundred crowns, maybe the teacher will have to charge tuition on the spot. ”

Gordon gave the money to Maltini and gave him a piece of dry bread, black and hard, for dry food on the road. But for the long-haired dog Gillian, in addition to making it a full meal, she also prepared a roasted pork leg.

Maltini led Gillian on the road. He walked through the forest and straight to his godfather's house. When the godfather heard him talk about the ins and outs of this matter, he laughed happily and shouted in unison.

The next day, Maltini returned to the village, and Gordon immediately asked how things were going.

Maltini said, "If you see it with your own eyes, you will have to shoot it." As soon as we walked through the school gate, Gillian jumped out of my hand and ran to her desk. This little thing sat upright in a small chair, without anyone to teach, as if it had been there before. The teacher saw it, praised it well for a while, and said to me happily that a student like our aunt can learn all the courses of the school in one year. The tuition fee for this dog school is two hundred crowns per student per year. I had already given the hundred to the teacher, and when Gillian graduated, we would have to pay another hundred. ”

Gordon said, "Two hundred? Not much, not much! He wants to really teach my baby well, and I am willing to give five hundred crowns. I'm going to let the whole village know what kind of dog I have in Gordon, and by that time, the whole country, no, every corner of the world will be alarmed, scrambling to see my rare living treasure. Gordon spoke with a triumphant look, but where did he know that the hundred crowns he had given to Maltini for gillian tuition had long been distributed to the local poor by Maltini's godfather.

Time passed quickly, and in the blink of an eye, it was almost half a year, and Gordon called Maltini again and told him to visit Gillian at school. Maltini went to the godfather and helped the old man beat the grass for three days.

These three days can make Gordon anxious, he also thought that something was wrong, anxious to wait at the entrance of the village, as soon as he saw Maltini coming, he quickly asked: "What happened to Gillian?" Is Gillian in good health? What is it doing? dine? Go to bed? Learn? Game? How's it going, is it all good?"

Maltini replied, "All good, all good, all good!" Our aunt has made a lot of progress, and the teacher said that she will soon start learning to speak. ”

Fast forward to the end of the year, Gordon happily sent Maltini to the school to pick up Gillian. Before leaving, he gave him a hundred crowns to thank the teacher, twenty crowns as a road fare, and repeatedly told him to take the car and not to tire ah Jiao. Maltini took the money and walked again in the direction of the forest, and three days later he returned empty-handed.

Gordon saw Maltini returning with his bare hands and asked impatiently, "What about Gillian?" Where did you get Gillian? Say it!"

Maltini showed a look of chagrin and said, "Oh, don't mention your aunt, it can make you sarcastic!" This Wang Ba thing really learned to speak, and it was really good, if you sat next to it and listened to it talk, you wouldn't believe that it was a dog! But...... But do you know what it says? It says to the people at the school that you are a braggart who does not learn anything, that you are a greedy vampire, that you have seduced your sister, that you have tortured your father to death, that you... Oops, don't mention it, it's all like this, one thing after another... Yes, it also said that it would come home to let everyone know that it had learned to speak, and it would tell the whole village what a hypocritical and vulgar scoundrel you were. Listening to it say such a lot of bad things about you in front of outsiders, my lungs are going to explode. You're so good at it, the whole village of people who don't know? But it was so unconscionable. I was so angry at you that I tied a stone to its neck and kicked it into the river. ”

Gordon listened to Maltini speak, his face was red for a while and white for a while, and he rolled his eyes and spit white foam in anger, and almost died of anger. It was not until the end, when he heard Maltini say that he had thrown the dog into the river and drowned, that he relieved his breath and cried out like a madman: "Good! Good! Maltini, good job! How can this ungrateful beast keep it, it will make me lose face in front of the whole village, and I will not be able to lift my head for the rest of my life. Well, you're doing a good job!"

(Compiled by Yang Shijie)

Farmers tell stories

There was a king who loved to hear stories, but every time he had to listen to new stories that he had never heard before, and he was not satisfied with the stories told by the story officers in the court. One day the king declared, "If anyone can tell a story I have never heard before, I will betroth to him the princess and give him half the kingdom." ”

As soon as this came out, there was an endless stream of conscripts, including dukes, nobles, generals, and merchants. But as soon as they began to speak the beginning of the story, the king cried, "I have heard it, I have heard it!" So one by one, they were driven away.

There was a farmer who went to the tavern this day to warm up, and when the wine seller saw that he was not wearing or eating, he teased him: "Why don't you go and tell a story to the king?" The princess must have been anxiously waiting for you, seeing through her eyes. The farmer listened to this joke and thought to himself: I might as well try my luck, even if I can't be the king's son-in-law, I can eat a day or two of ready-made meals.

So he came to the palace. The king asked, "What are you here for?" The farmer replied, "Your Majesty, I have come to tell you a story, but first I must be fed and drunk." ”

The king looked at him and smiled, "Ho! Do you want to be a donkey? Just by your patched pants, the shoes woven from bark rope..." But the king said, but he still let the farmer eat and drink, and then summoned the minister and duke, and let the farmer start telling the story.

The farmer said: "My deceased parents were the richest men in our country, and he built many palaces that were tall and large, and pigeons flying from the roofs could peck at the stars in the sky. The courtyard of our house was huge, and the pigeons had spent a whole summer and had not yet been able to fly from one side to the other. ”

The king did not say a word, and the ministers listened quietly, but then the farmer said, "I will talk about it here today, and I will talk about it tomorrow after lunch!"

The next afternoon, the farmer continued the story: "My seven-year-old bull stood in the yard, a shepherd sat on one of the horns of the cow, another shepherd sat on the other horn of the cow, and the two shepherds spoke loudly, blew trumpets, and sang, but they could not hear each other, not even face to face. You say how big this cow in my house is!"

The king did not interrupt him when he listened, and the ministers were silent. The farmer said, "I'll be able to finish the story tomorrow, and it's time to rest today." ”

The king said to the ministers, "What to do?" I hadn't heard of this story, but I was reluctant to marry my daughter to this countryman. You all have to think of a way, how can you fool him?"

A minister said, "Your Majesty, you say, 'I know what you're talking about,' and then we all prove it for you, and you can even write a note, and we all sign it." "Everybody agrees on this approach.

However, their collusion was known to the farmer.

The next day, however, the farmer pretended not to know anything and sat there as usual to tell the last part of the story: "My late parents had a horse that would take three days to run around our land..."

The Duke, the Minister, and the King gave each other a wink and snickered darkly. The farmer went on to say, "Our family's gold and silver treasures are filled with a granary, and even your Majesty the King, who at that time borrowed a large box of gold from my house, has not yet been repaid..."

At this time, the king shouted, "I know this!" The Dukes and ministers echoed, "We all know, we've all heard of this, and we can write it to you." Do you want to be a donkey? No way!"

They wrote the note and signed it. The farmer took the note and said, "Your Majesty the King, return the gold to me now!" Only then did the king understand and say, "You countryman, I have fooled you." ”

But the black and white letters could not be denied, and the king had to pack a large box of gold and give it to the farmer.

(Compiled by Lee Jinnai)