How to chase your heart and live your life in the way you like

Our lives are made up of countless choices. In order to make your life more in your own control, or less regretful, before making a choice, it is best to ask yourself these three questions. First, what kind of person am I? Second, what exactly do I want? Third, what am I doing now?

This article mainly talks about the first and most critical question: What kind of person am I? Most people in life don't know enough about themselves. For example, if you're a very introverted person, you run to do real estate brokerage, insurance sales, or some strange sales position, which is probably very difficult. For example, you are a person who is completely confused about machines, you run to read mechanical and electrical engineering... You don't have some level of understanding of yourself, how do you make life choices? We must understand what kind of person we are, the first thing to do is not to deceive ourselves, not to deceive ourselves, the so-called "sincere, do not deceive themselves", people are the easiest to deceive themselves, so to understand themselves, you need to be sincere to yourself.

This article is not from a philosophical level, but tries to look at it from three other perspectives, a basic understanding of itself, including the following three aspects:

First, what exactly is my ability? How can I do in all aspects, from my life experience to discover, to think about what I do well, for example, what is easier to learn, what is not easy to get started? What matches my personality, and what doesn't? You need to make a list of these, make a list of the main ones, and "don't fool yourself." Make such a list and rate yourself sincerely. For example, first, whether I read well or not, which aspect is better, is the liberal arts good or the science good? Is history good or geography good? Is a foreign language good or is math better? Second, how good are your organizational skills in terms of work? How is your leadership? How good am I doing? Third, how athletic am I? Because a lot of things are physical. The fourth is how do I feel about the mechanical aspect? This involves a competency assessment. Most importantly, how good am I socializing? Are you good at interacting with people? So there is a list, and then objectively score yourself, not too complicated, "excellent", "good", "can", "inferior" and so on. Once you've done this checklist, it's much easier to make choices later.

If you want to develop your career, this is quite important, in fact, this is called the strengths and avoid the weaknesses: if you are good at doing mechanical things, you can go to engineering; if the pitch is very good, then I can learn music. Everyone's ability is like our ten fingers, there are long and short, you must make good use of your own strengths, this is the first step I teach everyone. I don't know myself, I can't make any choice at all.

The second point is what is my personality? Having this ability does not mean that it will do so, and the personality involved is a big factor. First of all, you have to distinguish between extroversion and introversion, whether it is more extroverted or more introverted, this is very important. Are you shy or enthusiastic or lukewarm? Are you a person with perseverance. Is doing things "three minutes of heat"? Can I concentrate on doing things and persevere?

Of course, there are strong two aspects of personality that are involved in the success or failure of things. One is AQ (inverse quotient) and the other is patience (delayed gratification). AQ is the degree to which a person can accept failure, adversity. "Once bitten by a snake, ten years afraid of grass rope" personality, I am afraid that it will never be successful, a person must learn to accept failure, in order to be able to succeed, even if it is what they are good at, there are also mistakes and failures, as strong as Musk's SpaceX has exploded many times before it slowly goes smoothly. As Rocky, the protagonist of the movie Rocky, told his son, "it is not hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and keep on going", a boxer is not how good you are, but how good you are and keep going. The other, patience (delayed gratification), has a famous "marshmallow test" experiment in which a child is given a marshmallow and told that if you don't eat it within three minutes, you'll give him another candy. The more patient the person, the greater the future success. Because usually this is the case, you want to get happiness in the future, often by enduring the suffering of the present to get it. For example, if you want to win an Olympic gold medal, you have to go through a lot of hard training. You think about the glory of winning olympic gold medals in the future, so you can endure such hard training; in order to become a professional, you can go to study hard. These are small aspects, and the crucial point is future wealth. Why? I'm not going to enjoy it now and not squandering it, it's about delaying my pleasure to invest. And investment is paid returns, interest rates regenerate interest rates, which is the key to wealth acquisition.

Some parts of personality are not good or bad, that is, they can be opened on both sides, but there are some qualities that you must have before you can succeed. That is to say, extrovert and introvert, it is not that introversion is absolutely not good; quiet or warm, enthusiastic or calm, these personalities have their own benefits, but there are several kinds of personality benefits in the reality of society is difficult to deny. One is self-confidence, I will talk about it later, first evaluate whether you have this self-confidence. Without self-confidence, you have to cultivate your own self-confidence, which can be cultivated. You find your strengths and tell yourself that I am not inferior to others, and that I have to have confidence in myself because I have strengths, and I have my self-realization. Nothing can be done without self-confidence, that's the first point. The second is the AQ just said, and the third is patience, if these are not available, it is best to improve. Another important point is the growth mentality. Growth mentality is when you believe that there is nothing in this world that cannot be changed through effort. After some efforts the day after tomorrow, including your own personality, you can change, don't blindly feel "Ah, dead" and then lie flat there like a salted fish, this has to be changed. This is the importance of knowing one's own character.

Third, what else do you want to know about your Achilles heel? If you don't understand your Achilles heel, blindly going down will waste your life. Lao Tzu has a saying, "He who knows others is wise, and he who knows himself is wise." The winner is strong, and the self-victor is strong. The contented are rich, the forcible one has the ambition, the one who does not lose what he wants is long, and the one who dies without dying lives", but the person who knows people is a little smart; "the self-aware person is clear" is the point emphasized in this article - to know themselves; "the victor is strong, the self-victor is strong", that is, to overcome themselves; "the contented person is rich", the contented person is rich, and you will feel rich if you are satisfied with the status quo; "the forcible person has ambition", and the person with ambition can persist and continue to move forward.

First list all your weaknesses, also face yourself sincerely, do not deceive yourself, and must thoroughly understand your weaknesses, these weaknesses are divided into two kinds, some are fatal, some are not fatal. Let it be left to the undead, the fatal must be changed, and the more you change, the better.

So what weakness is to be changed, first of all, conceit. Some people are very conceited, feel like they're smart, and understand things quickly. For example, the academic performance is very good, or the programming is very good, the sales are very strong, and then you feel that you are very great, but this is very stupid, why say so, because in fact, everyone will also have his weaknesses. For example, sales are very strong, make a lot of money, but the family is running a mess, is this really good? Academic performance is very strong, then if it is sports, can you win others? Music, art or whatever, there must be someone else who is far better than you in some way. All of them are strong in some places and weak in some places. Everyone has to accept that in fact, everyone's intelligence is similar. Even for autistic people, he is mathematically musically strong because his brain is good at that aspect.

Patience is also an Achilles heel, we do a lot of things, and if we want to achieve something in certain areas, patience is very important. For example, the college entrance examination, people who have experienced the college entrance examination should know that if you want to get good results in the examination, the study life of the third year of high school needs to be very hard, and you need to use the time to study as much as possible, especially before the exam, entertainment TV comics, etc. The less the better. Learning is like this, and so are most other things, always going through a period of hard work in exchange for the gains that follow. The so-called sword blade comes out of the grinding, and the plum blossom fragrance comes from the bitter cold.

There is also the fact that they will not interact with others, and the meaning of not interacting with people here is not to say how good they are at communication and how many friends they want to make. People are social animals, it is difficult to live in this society completely independently, and there will always be a need for others to help solve problems, and there is always a need to deal with others. People who are close to themselves are even more so, but at least know how to get along with the people they love and love themselves, family members or important friends. Care for others and express your love.

The first question in the new version of life here is to know yourself, such as stench, such as lustful, intuitively you like what you like, and you will naturally avoid the stench, do not deceive yourself. Evaluate yourself with a real first reaction, understand yourself thoroughly, and not overestimate or demean yourself. Seeing that others are worth hundreds of billions of dollars and are very rich, but you can't say "I am a poor egg" because of this, because it is certainly not, no rich man has money, does not mean that he is a poor egg.

There is no question more important than answering "What kind of a person am I?"