A colleague of the company's post-90s programmers said he had not been in touch with his family for eight months.
Everyone else was shocked when they heard this:
"Eight months without contacting parents? You, aren't you worried about your parents? ”
Post-90s colleagues shrugged their shoulders and said casually:
"My dad and my mom would occasionally send a circle of friends. Since they can send a circle of friends, it means that they have nothing to worry about, and there is nothing to worry about. ”
However, according to the age calculation, the parents of the post-90s should be the group of people around the 60s.
People at this age, more or less in terms of health problems, chronic diseases, geriatric diseases are very common.
Now many of the post-80s and post-90s are far away from home, working in other places, and parents of only children generally feel very lonely.
Although the traffic is now developed, but the adult work is busy and stressful, who can easily take leave.
So all year round, I can go home to see my parents during the New Year, and I usually just call and send messages.
Usually children in the field, at least a week to contact their parents, concerned about the latest situation;
The post-90s colleague of Xiaobian Company did not contact his parents for eight months, which really gave people a feeling of indifference to their parents.
Someone said:
"The post-90s generation is a more selfish generation than the post-80s generation. They grew up in a carefree environment, and most of them are only children, and their personalities will be more self-centered and indifferent. ”
Seeing this post-90s colleague in our company, it seems that this sentence is really confirmed.
What are the specific manifestations of people with indifferent concepts of family affection?
Friends who have adult children after 90 can check to see if their children have the following five characteristics.
First, they have been reluctant to communicate with their parents since they were teenagers, and they have rarely been able to communicate with each other when they become financially independent.
Just like the post-90s colleague mentioned at the beginning of this article, when he lived with his parents in his hometown before, he was very silent.
Kao University deliberately took a city that was particularly far from home, seemingly to stay away from his original family.
When you are in college, you may still have a living need for your parents, and you will contact them at least once a month to ask for money.
After working, I am financially independent, I completely ignore my parents, and I will contact them once or twice a year, and my parents will naturally feel cold.
Second, "only report good news and no worries" to the family, and do not regard parents as people who can speak the truth.
A question for everyone:
Do you feel like you know your child?
Many parents will say, "I don't know my child yet, it's my own." ”
In fact, many post-90s parents don't know their children at all, because their children don't see you as someone who can tell the truth.
For his life, he will only selectively tell his parents, not all.
Third, they do not express love and concern for their parents, have little physical contact when they become adults, and do not want to be alone with their parents.
Many parents tend to be very serious at home, not intimate with their children, and rarely use body language such as hugs to express love.
Children who grow up in such a family will inevitably become indifferent in terms of personality.
I have many friends after the 90s who say:
"Now that I'm alone with my parents, I feel embarrassed and have nothing to say."
Shopping on the street, you can only see couples and couples holding hands and behaving very intimately;
However, it is rare to see such intimacy between parents and children.
Fourth, I rarely talk to my parents, but I talk to my friends a lot.
My colleague's family had a thirteen-year-old daughter who had recently died of grief.
Colleagues said that as soon as their daughter came home from school, she locked herself in the room, the door was locked, and also stipulated that parents could not knock more than five times a day, and if they had more, they would lose their temper.
At first, colleagues also thought that the daughter may be more stressed to study and reluctant to speak.
But one day, I put my ear to the door and listened carefully, but I heard my daughter in the room, talking to her classmates on the phone, laughing and laughing, and talking for an hour.
This is what I understand:
It turns out that children are not "introverted", just introverted with their parents.
In front of her peers, she is cheerful!
Many post-90s parents usually have this misconception about their children:
"My children have a dull personality from an early age and don't like to talk."
Most parents think they know their children, think that they are with their children 24 hours a day, and they know the roots of their children.
In fact, this is not the case at all, the inner world of the post-90s generation is often closed to parents, and what parents see is only a surface.
Fifth, the circle of friends is in a state of shielding from parents for many years, rarely answering the phone, and usually using information to communicate.
Many post-90s are reluctant to answer their parents' calls, and the circle of friends is also blocked for many years.
Parents want to know more about their children, but the helpless children close the doors and windows of their own world to them and do not allow them to enter.
I have an elder in my family, the child is 97 years old, and he is now in college.
His children blocked the circle of friends and buckles, and their parents could only see a horizontal line when they clicked in.
The only thing parents can see about their child's dynamics is the "number of steps".
Some software can read the number of steps the owner of the mobile phone walks in a day, and parents will speculate through this number:
Is the child in class today, or is he in the dormitory all day?
To be honest, it is quite sad to hear the elders say that these feelings are quite sad, I see a pair of parents who are desperate to enter the life of their children, but they can only humblely understand the rare fragments of life through the number of steps.
discuss
If the children's affection is indifferent, as parents, you should also plan your old age well.
Of the five descriptions mentioned above, is there anything about your family's situation? How many were hit?
Welcome to share in the comments section.