Ten years ago, there was a big change in my life, my parents divorced because my father had an emotional entanglement with another woman.
Their divorce made my emotional pointers sway. My parents were talented and I've always been proud to have them. Now, this pride is suddenly shattered, because of the father's betrayal of his mother. I hate him a little bit.
After his father divorced his mother, he went abroad to work.
My father went abroad and did not keep me away from my father's love from now on. My mother showed extraordinary tolerance and open-mindedness so that I could enjoy my father's love.
When my parents divorced, I had just entered middle school.
One day, my mother stumbled upon a form I filled out, and I filled out only my mother in the family members column. In the evening, after I finished my homework, my mother solemnly said to me: "Cao Jie, would you like to talk to me like an adult?" ”
I said with a very contradictory feeling: "I miss the father I used to be, and now, I can't love or hate him." Because it was he who hurt me and my mom who loved her equally. ”
Mom was silent for a long time before she spoke. She said that you did not fully understand your parents' divorce, we had sincerely loved each other, and dad had done his best for the family. As for getting a divorce, it's that we don't want to live together, it's our joint decision. Mom said that from the moment we both made the divorce decision, both of us hurt you, and this responsibility should not be pushed to Dad. Mom held back tears and said, "You'll understand this when you grow up." Moreover, it will help you to follow your own path in the future. It's just that you don't have to hate your dad for it. Your father loves you, we divorce, what is dissolved is our husband and wife relationship, and the father-son relationship between you and your father can never be dissolved. If you can understand your father's love for you, for you, for your father, and even for me for life, you will keep a warmth..."
My mother solemnly said to me, "You said that there is no father, your father will be very sad to hear it, and I am also very sad to hear it." Because, although I divorced him, I don't think we were blindly married in the first place. You have Daddy, it's just that Something unpleasant happened to Daddy and Mommy and broke up..."
Mom also said: "Let you learn to understand the truth that you should not understand at such a young age, this is the common guilt of your father and mother, and neither your mother nor your father wants you to feel lost in life..."
That day, my mother talked a lot. Although I didn't fully understand, I could tell that my mother was trying to get me rid of the emotional burden of their marital feud, and to make me understand and accept my father's fatherly love for me that had not changed.
After my father went abroad to work, he only sent me my alimony on time. He doesn't write letters and makes a phone call every time he sends money. On the phone, I always asked my mother about my situation in detail. As for me, I gambled not to answer his phone. Once, when he came to the phone, it happened that I answered it, and he almost pleaded: "Xiao Jie, can't you just say a few words to me first?" But I immediately shouted to my mother, who was cooking in the kitchen, "Mom, he's calling." ”
After mom and dad talked on the phone, she said to me, "You made your dad sad, he cried on the phone..."
I listened, and my heart was very uncomfortable. In fact, saying how much I hate my father is not true. Every time I listened to him on the phone and asked me about my situation, my heart was also sour and uncomfortable. It's just that people around me, especially relatives and friends, are blaming their fathers when they talk about their parents' divorce. I felt that making me accept my father's apology was like publicly announcing my infidelity and betrayal of my mother.
But that very night, it was my mother who made me hear these completely different truths from others, and it was my mother who persuaded me to respect my father as always, and to respect the love that my father gave me.
That night, at my mother's suggestion, I wrote a letter of greetings to my father. I distinctly remember that my father quickly replied to me, and the letter began with the following words: "My beloved son, my father sincerely apologizes to you in a distant foreign country..." I read the letter and couldn't help but cry.
However, when he received a phone call from his father, his mother criticized him for not having to vent his feelings to an incomprehensible child, and his feelings for his children should be the most simple father-son relationship without any preconditions.
In the future, the correspondence between Dad and me continued, and they all sincerely and peacefully conveyed care and love to each other. I even poured out to my dad my "dissatisfaction" with some of my mother's old-fashioned practices of disciplining me.
Two years later, Dad returned home. Once again, Mom unconditionally acceded to Dad's request to spend the weekend with me once a month.
Because Dad had re-formed his own family, I offered to spend the weekend with him, but I would never step into the door of the new home.
But my mother said to me, "You can make this request, but don't take it as a condition to blackmail your father, just go with the flow." I think it's the main thing you communicate with your dad, who is smart and talented, more socially than I have, and you can learn a lot from your dad that I can't learn from me. ”
It was with my mother so tolerant and so earnest that I did not embarrass him when my father carefully offered to come to his new home on the eve of his birthday. His new wife, Aunt Huang, was also very polite and very happy to receive me.
The next day, Dad called Mom and was so moved to tears: "Thank you, it is you who made me the happiest father in the world." ”
I think he was speaking from the heart.
When I was 19 years old, I was admitted to Beihang with excellent college entrance examination results.
Teachers and classmates who are familiar with me know that in my studies, there is absolutely no psychological burden of what I have to achieve like Yue Wang's deduction. If anyone helps me the most in learning, to be honest, it is still a father with solid basic knowledge of science and engineering. I can always call my father in front of my mother for the learning problems that need to be consulted, and I can tell my mother that I have gone to my father's house at any time, and even when my father comes to the house and tutors me in front of my mother, it is like eating a home-cooked meal. These practices of mom and dad became the key to my mental health.
After I was admitted to college, my mother and father also went with me to the "Listening Oriole Hall" in the Summer Palace to have lunch and congratulate me. Dad raised his glass and burst into tears, and he said to me, "You have to be proud that you have one of the greatest mothers in the world." At this time, my mother also burst into tears, and my father said to my mother, "I admit that you are the greatest mother I have ever met." You are the woman with the greatest personality I have ever met! ”
The mother said to the father, "You have not made the child lose the father's love, you are also a good father." ”
I couldn't say anything for a moment. They were a broken-up couple, but neither of them passed on the grievances of divorce to me their destructive emotions. They never said a word of mutual denigration and insult to me, they did not make me hate because of their divorce, they all made me feel the love of my parents to the greatest extent, and they all preserved the integrity of my family affection in my heart and feelings.
(Text/Xiaoyi)
(This article is from the Internet, the copyright belongs to the original author)
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