We thought that "living for love" was something that happened in the old society, but we didn't expect to see this kind of news in modern times.
A girl in Jingzhou, Hubei Province, accidentally found her boyfriend cheating when she brushed social software, and in a rage, she cut her wrists in the house.
Using other people's mistakes to punish yourself, there are such "obsessive" girls.
Male infidelity has long been not a rare thing, and everyone has countless opposite-sex relationships every day.
This kind of thing is staged every day, when changing to their own partner, they still see it bigger than the sky, more important than their own life, such a girl has no love experience at a glance.
Girls who are cheated on and come out after being injured are teaching on short videos!
The psychological state of being split legs, the natural understanding of experience.
The pain we feel may be because we have been denied, not necessarily because we love each other.
This kind of pain will make us want to take revenge on the other party in the first place, or use various means to regain his attention.
Therefore, ancient women cried twice and hanged themselves three times.
Being sad is really sad, but in the face of a man who has changed his heart, these actions have no effect.
Men have restarted their new lives, while women are committing suicide, burying their years.
A woman who does not love herself like this, who will love her?
Therefore, it is really not a good thing that girls are too obsessive.
01
Feelings cannot be forced
It is useless to make too much moral criticism of the cheater.
Like the new and tired of the old, willful.
Women use retribution and immorality to attack each other, in fact, there is no lethality, but he will be angry and corrupt and say that there is something wrong with women.
Men really reach the stage of not loving, that is, strangers, passers-by.
He does not empathize with the feelings of girls, even if people die, it will not affect him for half a point.
The girl's mood swings become larger, as if she lives by his love, and this state will run even if he does not cheat.
And to die or to live is extremely worthless in the eyes of men.
Sending long messages, to be redeemed, is a distraction for him.
I have a friend who also suffers from gains and losses when it comes to falling in love.
Her boyfriend has several spare tires, and she can't feel her boyfriend's love.
She told her boyfriend that she might have depression, was shaking and wanted to jump off the stairs.
After a few days, the boyfriend ran away and found a reason for his own fault to retreat.
Men are afraid of getting into trouble, have depression and don't hurry up?
Girls think that showing vulnerability can be exchanged for care, and even think that men love her and will accompany her through periods of depression.
Of course, good love will have a healing effect, but poor love will only aggravate the depressive attack.
Obviously, my friend did not meet a good fate.
Girls in the relationship, light complaints, show weakness hope to get attention, heavy self-harm, threats, ask him to be loyal or turn back.
I have only seen that such a woman lives a very hard life.
Feelings are two-way choices, and everyone has equal choices.
If he really cheats, it can only mean that he never belonged to you, and forcibly retaining him is just a matter of resentment.
02
Healthy love goes beyond the emotional brain
In fact, we will find that those entangled, abusive, love and killing love, often accompanied by resentment, and inseparable from each other's self-torture, such a love is toxic.
Because the less independent two people are, the more emotional they are.
Falling in love requires a little bit of emotion, but it can't all be emotional.
If you only rely on emotions, then this relationship will most likely be ugly.
For example, if you can't talk well, always hope that the other party will meet the standards in your heart, expect too much, and can't digest your emotions, these will inevitably affect your feelings.
Girls who cannot be rational are basically unable to be spiritually independent.
Therefore, when encountering abandonment and contradictions and conflicts, they will act excessively.
Healthy love is something that two people who are mentally independent can give to each other.
Our joys and sorrows are not easily involved in a relationship, we do not invest too much expectation, we do not suffer from gains and losses, and naturally we will not be too badly hurt.
One would say, why always ask women to change?
Obviously, men make mistakes.
Although a man is at fault, if a woman can change herself, even if it is his fault, she will not be able to make a woman pay the bill.
It's the meaning of women changing themselves to make themselves better and more independent of life, not to cater to each other.
03
Accept loss
There is a very important lesson in life, which is to accept loss.
We all have people who love but can't, and this kind of stubbornness that can't be asked for, if we don't accept it, will only increase the pain.
He just broke into our lives and learned a lesson, got tired, and then he went to have a relationship with someone else.
This is normal, and once we find it difficult to accept that this kind of thing happens, it is ourselves who suffer.
So, why do girls have to look at cheating objectively?
Because maybe one day we will fall in love with someone other than our partner, which is not unusual.
Whoever can meet each other's core needs can build relatively intimate relationships.
The moral bottom line is used to discipline oneself, and it is more tiring to take it to discipline people.
Because human nature transcends morality, a person who has changed his mind cannot control himself, even if he is killed, it is useless.
So, love well when you love, don't be too demanding of results, and don't lose yourself.
Feelings are constantly changing, don't put your heart and soul into it.
If the other half is caught off guard against cheating, the best counterattack is to ignore him, go directly, do not get entangled with rotten people and bad things, and consume their energy and time.
Only then is the loss lowest.
Girls have committed suicide by cutting their wrists for love, boys have jumped into the river, drunk medicine, threatened to kill pets, and pestered to run to the unit to block people.
All kinds of behavior can only indicate mental immaturity.
Roll around like a child, crying about what you can't get.
Even if it is really entangled for a period of time, it is also ended up separated, and it also makes the other party black, and it is even less dignified.
Usually after the girl is cheated on, she still wants to reconcile, as long as he turns back and admits his mistake, he can be forgiven.
Once this bottom line is opened, it will remain the same in the future, and the bottom line can be trampled countless times.
A temporary compromise, rather than waiting to be abandoned in the future, it is better to stick to the bottom line.
04
Grow in loss
Recently brushed a short video, found that many girls who have lost love have taken a summary video to tell how long they have taken to get out of pain.
And I will also reflect on the reasons for my own victimization, and my emotional outlook is becoming more and more rational, which I think is a kind of progress.
What is the significance of our lost love and being hurt?
Probably it is to hone the mind, and women tend to grow up the fastest after emotional frustration.
What makes people miserable is not the other party, but their own dependence and entrustment mentality.
I once had a very considerate boyfriend, and he was worried about eating, drinking, living and traveling.
He pays and contributes, and the only drawback is that he is not honest enough.
I thought he would always be nice to me like this, even if it was just in love, and it was good to have such a pampered experience.
After more than a year of being taken care of by him, I gradually relied on his carefulness and thoughtfulness, and the whole person was particularly powerless, afraid that I was not sensible enough, not good enough, and could not keep him.
Later, I found out that even if another person made me dependent, I would become weaker myself, so that I was very afraid of losing.
Even if you are financially independent, the other party's care in life and the provision of emotional value will be difficult to give up.
When we want each other's giving too much, we become flattering.
If you want him to stay, then you will care about his whereabouts, afraid that he will cheat, so that the personal center of gravity will be shifted.
In the end, insecurity exploded, grabbed, and lost.
He split his legs, and I could only let go no matter how much I liked it.
I gradually reflected on myself, I entrusted the burden of my life to the other party, resulting in him giving all the time.
And I don't see his efforts, only his insincerity, and his determination to leave me at any time.
In fact, who can be sure of what the result of falling in love will be in the end?
That is, when there is attachment and greed, it will want to be bound to the other party.
To put it mildly, the weaker side wants to share the fate with the stronger side, but the strong side will feel the loss, so he is unwilling.
Doesn't he want me to kill myself by cutting my wrists?
Didn't he want me to tie him up in the house as a prisoner?
All I can do is respect his choices, love myself more, and get up where I fall.
All feelings start and end similarly, the enthusiasm and freshness will be exhausted, and eventually we will have to live with ourselves.
After merging with the warmth, you still have to face your own life independently.
Only when girls have experienced loss, they will know more about how to live alone, and how to make themselves happy is the most important.
So it's not terrible to fall out of love and be split, these lessons are just teaching us how to love ourselves.
When we are happy not only dependent on each other, his departure will not make people feel that life is completely meaningless.
Author | Fei Yu A person who likes to explore himself, with growth as the goal, experience as the road, sincerity as the heart, and live a life of maximum freedom.