Recently, I want to discuss with readers what kind of men will make you feel unwilling, make you both expect and disappointed, and finally have to give up?
Come to think of it, it should be the kind of man who has a deep affection for you when he has no money, an absolutely good boyfriend and a good husband, and a man who has money is like becoming a person.
I can understand this unwillingness.
When there was no money in the past, the more he flattered you, the more you felt that he really loved you, after all, at that time, he was also really feeling.
But once he has money and reveals his true nature, you will begin to disbelieve and feel that the person in front of you is different from the person you originally knew?
You will not be reconciled, will you feel that the previous deep affection how can you say that it is gone?
Then you will start to get angry because you can't help him.
It is also because he is now successful, and you are abandoned at this time, there will be a kind of negative self-evaluation that you are nothing and that you are very poor.
You will be anxious, you will be sad, you will be disappointed, but you can only accept reality.
But I want to tell all of you who have been through this:
It's not your fault, you're not as bad as you think, it's the man who is confused by his position of money and abandons you.
But I would also like to say that you are at fault that you believe in love too much and ignore human nature.
The fault is that you do not know how to judge a person's character in life, and you have not really understood it, and you are wrong to pay the truth.
01
Love the rich and hate the common sense of the poor
There are many girls who belong to the love brain, may be well protected by the family from childhood, received a very good education, or may be because of the material wealth makes her feel that the material is not important.
So it will be difficult for them to understand that some people lose the bottom line and do immoral things for a little bit of money power.
They will feel that money is not important, feelings are important, so they give unconditionally in their feelings, and even spend money on boys.
But what they don't know is that everyone has different life experiences, different levels of education, and different ways of dealing with the world.
Most people in this world cannot escape the psychology of being poor and loving the rich, because most people are low-level workers who have not reached a very high spiritual realm.
They may also have received a good education, some even master's degrees and doctorates.
But even so, it is not necessarily possible to be poor and untouchable, rich and noble cannot be adulterous, and mighty cannot be bent.
Because a person's character and morality are not completely positively correlated with academic qualifications.
To develop good conduct and moral restraint, there are too many things needed and it is not easy.
So girls should understand that most people in this world are actually poor and love the rich, but the bottom line is different.
A lot of people, they will really be with a woman for the sake of money honor status, and they will really be separated from a woman because of money honor status.
Only by understanding this can we rationally look at love and begin to learn to understand human nature.
Understanding human nature is the first point in distinguishing a person from the world, and discerning a person's character and moral bottom line is something that must be done before love occurs.
02
Because money is inherently selfish
In fact, a person who hates the poor and loves the rich reflects the essence of a person's selfishness.
Because he puts his own feelings first and his own interests first in everything, he will not cherish your efforts at all.
Because he can't think of others, he only has himself in his eyes.
When you can no longer provide value to him, he will abandon you.
Such a person, how do you talk to him about love and morality?
He doesn't love anyone, he loves only himself.
He always takes his own happiness and comfort as the standard, and his standard does not have the gentleness of "if you are happy, I will be happy".
I have a visitor who once cried to me about his experience.
She trusts her boyfriend when he is penniless and has no ambitions, and appreciates his efforts and talents.
Support him, encourage him, pay for him, be with him, and only hope that one day he can realize his dream of graduate school.
She is willing to be his supporter and helper, willing to love him with all her strength for him, willing to be the woman behind him, and even save money to give him living expenses for him to study.
And when her boyfriend was admitted to graduate school, joined the club, and met a lot of excellent girls.
He began to dislike her hiding behind him without glory, and did not deserve him.
There was no gratitude or love in his heart, only naked selfishness and interest.
Talking to this kind of person, both men and women, is a waste of time.
People's selfishness is difficult to change, and even if you are married to such people, it will be the beginning of a nightmare.
We often say that marriage is not the end of a relationship, but the beginning of a difficult journey.
And choosing such a teammate who only has his own heart, you can imagine how difficult the future days will be.
When you take the child, he feels tired and annoyed and throws it all to you.
When you do housework, he feels that you deserve it, and even dislikes that you are a yellow-faced woman who does not make money.
When you look old, he will feel that you are old and unworthy of him, so he will cheat.
When the relationship between you gradually fades, he will feel bored, he wants to stimulate.
What happiness would there be with such a selfish person?
He will never feel that family responsibilities are shared, and he will never understand that giving is a two-way street.
He will never understand how beautiful true love is, he will only feel that his desires are satisfied to be called beautiful.
03
Before falling in love, you must bring your eyes to see people
Many girls are too sloppy about falling in love.
When you feel happy together, you start to give, and once you move your heart, you can't help yourself.
However, men first chase after the hand and then consider whether it is suitable.
Some scumbags will feel that they can catch up with many girls because they have the ability.
There are even men who are shameless, rely on girls to live, and let girls spend money for him.
When the boy is talented and will coax people, maybe this girl will really sacrifice herself and be willing to be the woman behind him to help him rise to fame.
This kind of self-sacrificing dedication may sometimes touch even the girls themselves.
But not every boy deserves to be treated that way.
Because everyone's personality is different, the concept of feelings is also different.
Therefore, I am not advising girls not to compromise in love, but to see each other's character clearly before compromising.
In particular, some girls start to give 100% as soon as they fall in love, which is not right.
When you first fall in love, you should first learn to observe, and even this observation period should be extended to before marriage.
While paying, we must also protect ourselves, love people do not love too much, leave a little room to love themselves, this is the right thinking.
The second is that when girls give up in love or even marriage, they should never give up on themselves.
Never be the woman behind a man, or even quit your own good job to help his career.
Don't ruin the career you've been living on.
I want to remind all women, whether in love or married, even those who have been married for many years, to have their own independent financial resources.
Even if you don't work, you must have the confidence and ability to come out and work at any time.
Yuan Yongyi once said in "Wife's Romantic Trip": "Although I am not working, my husband works to earn money to support the family, but I am not afraid at all.
Because I want to work and can come out at any time to work, I have this ability.
The reason why we divide the work so much is only because we think it is good for the family.
So even if girls don't work, they have to understand that it's just a different division of labor."
There are two key points here, the first is that Yuan Yongyi is very confident that she has the ability to come out and work at any time.
Then choose to be the woman behind Zhang Zhilin, take care of the family only because of the different division of labor, she is very aware of her own dedication to the family.
The second point is that Zhang Zhilin also knows and agrees with Yuan Yongyi's dedication to the family, and he also feels that she has the ability to return to the screen all the time.
For us ordinary people, maintaining our career may not be as easy as Yuan Yongyi.
We have no beauty, much less fame.
We must have sustained commitment in our careers in order to reap the rewards.
Therefore, I advise all female readers not to give up their work casually.
Even if you give up your job, you must maintain the ability to return to the workplace.
Even if you don't have the ability to return to your original position, you can do some side jobs or even part-time jobs through your own efforts.
I would like to tell you female readers that the most important thing in a person's life once is not to take care of others, but to take care of yourself.
Your own talent, beauty, ability, money will always be your own chips, and these will help you be happy.
If you want to give up these in exchange for happiness, then the exchange can never be happiness, but greed.
I hope that my female readers can never stop pursuing themselves and never stop improving themselves.
Author: Yan Yan, Master of Xidian University, long-term research in psychology, and focus on self-awareness, emotional management, intimate relationships, native family and other topics. Good at helping readers analyze emotional mysteries and improve themselves.