<h1>This article was first published by Xiao Shuang Said Parenting originally, and reprinting is prohibited</h1>
Hello everyone, I am a small double, it is a pleasure to meet with you, here to remind everyone that the weather is getting cooler, remember to keep warm.
The child is like a sapling, growing rapidly. Small trees full of life often produce some branches that affect growth. To remove these branches, there is no shortage of scissors for criticism. How can I cut these branches effectively without hurting the tree itself? Keep the following principles in mind.
Criticize your child with respect
1, children also have self-esteem, some are obvious, some are not obvious. Parents should protect their children's self-esteem well, and must not criticize their children in front of others, so that children feel very faceless. Therefore, when criticizing children, you should slow down and think again. If there were guests in the house at that time, or if there was a crowded occasion at the banquet, even if the child made a mistake, do not immediately and mercilessly approve it. Take the child to a place where no one is to criticize, or whisper a word of criticism, wait until the guests are gone, and then reason with the child, so as to avoid the child's shame in front of many people and cannot get off the stage.
2, when criticizing children, you can not use foul language, bad language to attack. These words are like poisoned arrows, attacking the enemy, not criticizing the child. Insulting language such as "stupid" and "waste", coercive language such as "shut up" and "listen to me", and sarcastic language such as "stupid method" and "full of mud" will cause deep harm to children.
3, criticize the child to discuss things on the matter, do not turn over the old account. Criticizing children must be on the basis of facts, and say which thing is wrong. Where it is wrong and why it is wrong, we must make it clear and clear that the nail is a nail and riveted. Don't talk about the old sesame seeds and rotten grains all together.
Such criticism is nagging, and the most intolerable is nagging. And nagging can also be a common problem for parents, especially mothers. We all have such a feeling, after becoming a parent, we have become a mother-in-law and mother,000, and we have also practiced the ability to nag. Many parents can pull from their children's problems today to things that were a long time ago, and although these things have long been forgotten by children, parents can count them clearly.
For example, if the child forgets the day's homework, parents can think of the previous keys and money, and effortlessly turn to things that do not like to study, watch TV all day, and play games. Around this time, Mom and Dad's mind was like a movie was being replayed, quoting and quoting scriptures. At first, the child still showed a tired expression. After nagging for a long time, the child doesn't care, and even some of them don't think so, maybe they are still secretly thinking in their hearts: Say it, see how long you can talk! And parents often say that they have forgotten what they are criticizing their children for later, so they hurry to end. How can such criticism make children understand the truth, and how can children be willing to accept it?
Criticizing children doesn't have to be spoken out loud either
4, the child makes mistakes, sometimes, he himself can also realize. At this time, Mom and Dad might as well be silent. If parents have a tolerant mind and enough patience to make the child feel guilty and give the child a chance to introspect, then the child will actively change in a relaxed psychological state and will not make such a mistake again. Criticize children to be simple and clear, do not sing a long solo show, some parents are outgoing, and their emotions are easy to get excited. As soon as he saw that the child had made a mistake, the voice immediately raised the decibel, and the storm criticized the child as useless.
Such parents are happy and calm after a hearty criticism. "Hear that?" The child immediately replied, "Heard!" "Remember not?" "Remembered!" "What will I do next?" "Change!" The reason for answering so painfully is that the child knows that this storm is almost over. And when the parents are hanging in the mouth, the child is already estimating: "Almost halfway!" "Wait a minute, it's almost over!" From beginning to end, the child does not listen to his parents and does not know what the parents say. They have only one question in mind: When will this storm end?
The purpose of criticism is to help children realize their mistakes, accept the correct advice from their parents, and correct them in later actions. In the process of criticism, it is inevitable to lose some temper, but venting is counterproductive. When parents vent to their children, how can you expect your children to listen to you? If parents change their ways and perspectives, and ask their children to criticize themselves from the perspective of their parents, then the effect will be completely different.
5, when criticizing the child, we must also give the child the opportunity to appeal, and cannot be decided by one person. There are many reasons why children make mistakes, which may be intentional or unintentional; they may not want to do a good job at all, or they may not do it well. When parents criticize their children, they must first ask about the whole thing and let the children say what they want to say. Even if the parent is criticizing the child, the child should be given a chance to defend himself. In this way, criticism can effectively solve the problem and the child can accept it with satisfaction and sincerity.
In addition to these principles, parents should also pay attention to words and good thoughts. When the child makes a mistake, first think about whether the requirements for the child are too high, he simply cannot do it, whether for other reasons he is not willing to do a good job, and then criticize. At this time, the temper is not grumpy, the attitude is not stiff, the tone is appropriate, the reason is sufficient, how can the child not listen to the words of his parents?
Thank you for your patience to read, today we will talk about here, welcome to discuss in the comment area, like, remember to pay attention!