The theme of the fourth season of "Talk Show Convention" is: It's okay, I also have "sickness".
One by one, the contestants complained about their appearance anxiety, age anxiety, body image disorder...
The audience was amused and laughed.
Until an actor appeared, the audience couldn't laugh.
This cold man is Rock.
He began by saying, "I finally plucked up the courage to go to the hospital and was diagnosed with depression." ”
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Feelings of depression
Rock's style in "Talk Show Conference" has always been "divorced middle-aged men", and every time he plays, there will always be a middle-aged sigh, which is full of middle-aged crisis, pressure and helplessness.
Indeed, Rock is really not outstanding in the face of the rookies who are full of masters, and he has been depressed for a long time, but he does not dare to go to the hospital.
Because, he was afraid to go to the hospital to diagnose his own problems, and he was afraid that others would laugh at his fragility and temperament.
However, this time he bravely stood on the stage of the talk show, laughing and analyzing his feelings of depression with us:
He said that after suffering from depression, the biggest problem is:
lazy.
He didn't want to do anything, he just wanted to lie down, and the whole person lost his mobility.
"But you know, there's a difference between laziness and depression. When the lazy man lies down, he has a smile on his face. ”
And depressed people, there is no smile on their faces.
There is also, "The feeling of depression is like living in the mind of an Easy Lijing."
Every day when I went to bed, she asked me:
Do you feel your life has meaning?
Do you think you're a valuable person?
Do you think what you're doing makes sense?
Have you ever thought about the consequences of failure? ”
Behind this ridicule, in fact, is the most real feeling of depressed people, that is, the negative emotions in your brain will constantly envelop you, and you have to pretend that you are okay.
Depression is still not taken so seriously in this society, people are afraid of being labeled "depressed", rock is also afraid, but he still chooses to say it.
"I'm starting to understand the negative stuff in my head, it's not me. It is a disease. ”
Since his diagnosis, he has finally relieved himself of his weight and is still happy.
"Why happy? Because I'm sick. ”
He is finally willing to face up to the reality of his illness, no longer hide it, and actively face it.
Because to speak out is to save yourself, to share the experience of depression, but also to heal yourself.
It can be said that expression is the best way to see, and seeing is the best healing.
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Unwilling to express
Cheng Lu of "Talk Show Conference" said a paragraph that ridiculed people for not being willing to admit that they had psychological problems:
"Many people are resistant to seeing a psychologist, everyone goes to see a psychologist, to wear a hat mask, three layers outside, afraid of being recognized, being recognized by people is not willing to admit, saying no, no, no, I am not coming to see a psychologist." I'm just infertile. ”
Cheng Lu said that comedy generally has some psychological problems, so the company has equipped everyone with psychologists, but few people dare to see it.
He spoke out about our real-life problems.
Not just comedians, but everyone in our lives, more or less, will have psychological problems.
Childhood experiences, acquired environments, stress, etc. can all cause a person's psychological problems, which are big or small.
Small psychological problems can be healed by self-healing, but serious psychological problems should be treated by professional psychologists and psychological counselors.
Just like your physical illness, if you have a cold and a sore throat, you can take some medicine to solve it on your own. If you have a fracture or a serious illness, you have to go to the doctor.
As Cheng Lu said:
"For example, if I have a broken bone, I don't go to the hospital, I read a book at home, can I do it?"
It seems that you can study books for five years, because it takes five years to study medicine.
Five years later you look at your broken leg and say, Oh, I know what to do, and the best treatment now is to buy a wheelchair. ”
After we encounter psychological problems, we recommend going to a professional and not reading books such as chicken soup for the soul and self-control emotions.
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The first step to change: accept your illness
Many people are not willing to face their own defects, have a sense of shame about their own illness, and pretend to be happy and strong in front of others, in fact, this will be more painful in their hearts and the disease will be more serious.
I really admire one of the actors in "Talk Show Conference": Xiao Jia.
When he was born, because of the lack of oxygen in the brain, it was difficult to speak, his limbs were uncoordinated, and he walked crookedly.
However, he can treat these flaws as a paragraph, which will be heard to the audience, and as soon as the opening scene is said:
"My disease is a congenital systemic disease, other people's diseases are acquired by hard work, and my illness comes with no effort."
He says talk show actors fall into two types:
"One is textual and one is performative. And I, moved by the Chinese type."
Finally he said the following:
"I do have a disease, but the world seems to remind me of my illness all the time.
I suddenly wanted to say to the world:
We're all sick, but mine is a little more obvious. ”
In the face of his own problems, he can fully accept himself, and also appear on the stage of talk shows in a self-deprecating way, so that people can see his confidence, optimism, and positive strength.
Accepting his imperfect self, he reconciled with the world and developed better than the average person.
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How do you accept yourself?
Self-acceptance refers to the individual's positive attitude towards the self and all its characteristics, in short, an attitude that can gladly accept the actual self.
Self-acceptance has two meanings:
First, be able to recognize and accept the positive value of their own body, ability and personality, and not be proud of their own strengths, strengths and achievements;
The second is to be able to face and accept everything in their reality with openness, and not to be inferior because of certain shortcomings and mistakes. Self-acceptance is an important criterion for individual mental health.
1. Accept all your emotions
Each of us is more or less hiding our true emotions. Self-acceptance is the acceptance of the present self, including one's own negative emotions. When we are able to recognize and face up to the current real situation, we can do the next step of treatment or improvement.
2. Recognize your own opinion of yourself
We need to recognize our strengths and characteristics, and we can clarify and recognize our strengths by listing our achievements. Through these practices, you can help you identify where you are being too harsh on yourself.
At the same time, we need to re-examine what others think of us. When others criticize us, we always like to turn this idea into our own opinion. Therefore, we need to find the root of our self-perception and rethink how we see ourselves.
3. Question the voice of inner criticism
If we are always critical of ourselves and dissatisfied with life, you may think, "I am such a useless person." So, let's leave some doubtful voices about these critical voices:
Is it right to think so?
Do I have nothing?
Would I be happy to think that way?
Would I say that to someone else?
If your answer is no, then you will understand that it is your inner "critic" who is at work. Then you can refute it and use your strengths to fend off negative thoughts.
4. Be kind to yourself
If we don't treat ourselves well, can we expect others to pity and cherish you? The answer shows no. Therefore, please be kind to yourself, love and be considerate of yourself, even if others say you can't do it, you must learn to appreciate yourself and cheer yourself up.
There are small self-affirmation exercises that can be done each day to build self-compassion with positive words, words, or self-affirmations that can help change the critical voice within us.
For example:
Although I work average, I have a pair of lovely children and am very happy;
I can definitely get through this, I am stronger than I thought;
I'm fat, but I'm happy, and it's never too late to lose weight when I want to lose weight.
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Healthy self-acceptance
Psychologist Maslow believes that healthy self-acceptance goes like this:
1, can accept themselves and others, will not be troubled by their own or others' shortcomings or feel guilty and uneasy, they can calmly accept their own current situation, including their own needs, levels, wishes, but also tolerant of others' weaknesses and problems, calmly live, rarely use defense mechanisms.
2, spontaneous, frank, true, they can really treat their feelings, and frankly say their feelings, do not hide themselves, naturally and simply express themselves.
May each of us be able to accept ourselves, if there is a psychological problem, go to a psychologist or psychological counselor, you dare to face your illness, that is, an important step of change, you are not far from happiness.
As Cheng Lu said: "Don't be embarrassed, mental illness is like a cold and fever, once you have it, go to a professional." ”