| Annabésu (Columnist for Fushu)
Parents' understanding
It is the deepest love for children
Two days ago, I saw a news and was a little sad.
An old man living alone in Suibin, Heilongjiang, called the police, saying that he had secrets to tell them, and always said that someone knocked on her door, and she urged on the phone: "You are coming..."
After the police came to the door, the old man was embarrassed, admitting that he was too lonely at home alone, and wanted to find someone to chat with, so he reported a fake police.
Facing the camera, she felt a little guilty: "I'm sorry for you..."
The old lady's loneliness seemed to overflow across the screen.
When asked by the police, "What about your children?" ”
The old man smiled a little shyly and helplessly: "They have their own things, can't always trouble them..."
Seeing this, I can't help but cry.
There are many such parents in life.
When we were in our infancy, they struggled to lift it, and when we were able to stand alone, they lived to be the most sensible.
I saw a tearful news: the husband and wife were suspected of being infected with pneumonia, but they were afraid that their children who were far away were worried, so they cooled the thermometer every time and then passed the photo to their daughter.
The parents in the photo are all right, but they don't know that the "all is good" in the eyes of the children is a lie carefully woven by the parents.
In the variety show "Longing for Life", Jin Weiqi said that his "sensible" parents were also choked up at one time.
Mom needed a small surgery because of her illness, but she was the last person to know.
If it weren't for the hospital's requirement that immediate family members must sign in order to operate, she probably would never have known about it.
She asked her mother, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" ”
Mom smiled and waved her hand: "It's not a big deal..."
Yes, in the eyes of parents, only the children's affairs are greater than the sky, and their own thoughts, heartaches, and hardships are not big deals.
Someone once described the life of Chinese parents this way:
When you are young and strong, give everything you have to support the child, and when you are old and weak, do your best to support yourself.
In the end, I am still trying to exert residual heat for my children, and I do not want to be a stumbling block to your progress, but choose to swallow the tears and loneliness by myself.
They are not painless, they are not missing, they are just putting up with it.
After becoming parents, they all became the best actors, playing the role of the quiet and peaceful life of the world.
But in their hearts, they are always looking forward to your return.
Your parents will always need you to come home more than you think
On Zhihu, I saw a story from @Mr. Ah Lu:
"Since my mother learned to use WeChat, she often sends me messages, sometimes the message jumps out, and when I see that it is always my mother, I feel a little upset."
One night, my mom sent me a message again, asking me, as usual, "Have you eaten, is it cold?" ”
I replied a little perfunctorily, and my mother felt it and replied, "Well, you're busy."
The phone was silent for a while, and then a message popped up:
"I took a nap today and dreamed that you were still in elementary school, and I rode to pick you up from school. It was very cold, I woke up frozen, A little uncomfortable in my heart, I wanted to nag you, well, it's okay. ”
When I saw this, I burst into tears.
Behind the nagging of your parents is the wordless thoughts, and they will always need you more than you think.
A few years ago, a short video poked the tears of countless people.
Mr. Dong and his girlfriend have been working abroad and have only returned home twice in four years.
Near the end of the year, he went home for the New Year, because it was late at night when he arrived home, he couldn't bear to wake up his parents, so he waited at the door for several hours.
In the morning, as soon as the father opened the door, he saw his son waiting at the door, he first looked at him with a look of disbelief, and then carefully walked over and shouted: "Son! ”
Behind this son is countless days and nights of worry and expectation, surprise and a little choking sound, see people cry like rain.
Your parents will always need you to come home more than you think.
There is a classic passage in the Korean drama "Please Answer 1988":
When they grow up, children rarely go home, but every time they come back, their parents will bother to prepare a hearty meal like the New Year.
After they are busy, their biggest wish is nothing more than family reunion, sitting together and chatting.
But what about the kids? It was hard to come back, either busy partying with friends, or going back to the room and sleeping upside down.
Helpless parents, in order to see their children more, have a "terrible" hobby: crouching next to their children and watching them sleep.
Those parents who miss their children but cannot express themselves, they look into the eyes of their children, full of love and reluctance.
When we were young, our parents held us in the palm of their hands and regarded us as treasures;
When you grow up, they take on all the thoughts and hardships and let you go far away to pursue your dreams, and they remember how to love you all the time.
They tell you over and over again to drink more hot water, remember to dress more when it's cold, and they go out of their way to forward the health link of the circle of friends to you, helping you fill the trunk of your car again and again.
But we always go too fast and forget to look back at the footsteps of our parents.
As children, we have an obligation to spend our time going through nagging and misunderstandings to see the truth of love.
The biggest regret in life is that the children want to raise and do not wait, do not go too fast, and occasionally remember to look back and hug them well.
Take advantage of the time to do filial piety calmly
When watching the adult version of "Where Daddy Goes", I was amused by Xu Jinjiang.
He on screen:
It is the evil worship of the fierce god in the "Deer Ding";
Is the domineering Golden Retriever King in "The Book of the Dragon Slayer in the Heavens";
He is the fierce Moon Worship Sect Leader in the center of "The Legend of the Paladin Sword".
But in real life, it becomes a "pestering baby", and at most, he can make 30 calls to his son a day.
In the show, he collapsed several times: "I can't live alone, I don't fit in, I'm not strong enough, I can't do anything, I'm useless..."
His son Xu Fei, on the contrary, has a cheerful and optimistic personality, arranges his life in an orderly manner, and maintains great patience in responding to his father's life-threatening call one by one.
Xu Jinjiang said in a later interview that in fact, he deliberately said: "I think he cares more about me and gives me more companionship, in fact, I am very lonely inside." ”
Speaking of this, a man who has created countless tough guy images can't help but blush.
But in life, there are very few parents like Xu Jinjiang who can express their needs.
Most parents are reclusive, silent, and insincere, but none of them need the attention and comfort of their children.
The little care and warmth of the children can make them steal the pleasure for a long time.
At the New Year this year, my cousin bought a new TV for my uncle and aunt, and the old two waved their hands when they heard about the price, so that my cousin could return it.
At the insistence of my cousin, the TV hung on the wall of the two people's bedroom, and the aunt and uncle chanted that it was too luxurious, but the smile on their faces could not be hidden.
When I went out, I said that my daughter had a good filial piety and bought us a TV, and you said that we were old enough to use such a good TV.
Between the words, there is an unconcealed pride.
Parents are always like this, the most willing to spend money on their children, the most reluctant to spend money on their children, they live very sensibly, but we also have to go through nagging and misunderstanding to see the truth of love.
Bi Shumin said in the article "Filial Piety is Priceless":
"I believe that every child who is sincere and loyal has made a filial wish to his parents in his heart, believing that he can calmly fulfill his filial piety in the future, but unfortunately people forget, forget the cruelty of time, forget the brevity of life..."
The years are always merciless, it makes the toddler grow up in an instant, but also makes the elderly parents age, we can't stop the passage of time, but we can squeeze out a little time between there, hug them, and return love.
Life is not long, and companionship is priceless.
As Yan Rujing said in "Strange Story":
Parents are the audience for the first half of a child's life, and a child is also an audience for the second half of a parent's life.
You have seen the first half of our lives, the rest of our lives for me to see you, you have lifted me to see the world, the rest of my life, change me to accompany you to see the world.
About the author: Anna Bessou, the 5th batch of students of the Fushu Parent-Child Writing Camp Introductory Class, the person of Fushu, the columnist of Fushu, believes in the power of loneliness and thinking, long life, walk slowly, this article is the first time fuxiaoshu, the best girlfriend around you, Fushu 2018 launched a new book "Good Life".
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