The clams outside are screaming non-stop, I can't sleep, my mind recalls all these years, what is the purpose of marriage? Whether it is one more person and you to bear all the future, or one more husband who is the same age as you but is like a son, I think I have not met the right person, otherwise I would not have become such a resentful woman!
When we are in our thirties and have children, it is not for the sake of passing on the generations, but for someone in this world to continue our lives! Thirty years old, suddenly there is no passion and impulse of a word of age, nor is there maturity and stability commensurate with this age, life brings me nothing but chicken bits and pieces, except for a place of chicken feathers, I really don't know what else?
Due to work reasons, I can only get together on weekends with my husband, and the children naturally follow me, but he is like a bachelor, suddenly feeling that women have endured too much for marriage, and I am also a first-time parent, why should I do so much? Eight years of marriage, has long been without any passion, what anniversary, what sightseeing, has long ceased to exist, the child is hungry, crying, peeing, the eldest child wants me to read the topic to do her homework, we have not had so many beautiful things to do, maybe I do not have a good in-laws, will be so tired, give birth to two children, let me have a vaginal caesarean section have experienced, I am also like most women, pregnant face spots, stomach stretch marks, insist on breastfeeding, and then weaning, milk, milk, Finally shrunk to the point where I couldn't look at it directly, and all of this made me suddenly feel very anxious, I also loved beauty, I also longed for the harmony and beauty of the two sexes, and suddenly even I felt bored, I didn't know how to lose too much of myself for marriage, how to keep the crisis brought about by this tempting world.
I was suddenly very afraid of betrayal, I confess that I was also an arrogant person, there was no sand in my eyes, and I was suddenly very afraid of what I would encounter in the future, and we would be like most people of this age, experiencing the departure of their parents, experiencing the growth of their children, and then the children had their own families, and we also became grandparents, in-laws, fathers-in-law, grandmothers, and I really did not ideal the current state of life, I was afraid that my children would dislike me, and they would not receive the best education because of us in the future , did not get the warmest love of parents ...
Life is a mirror, the life of parents is the children's attitude to life in the future, I am afraid that the current bad self has affected the children! And I'm really trying my best to be a good mother!