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Living in this harmonious social environment of modern times, we always like to talk about people with dark and violent personalities, and like to watch bloody and violent hunting movies. Nevertheless, in life, it is still necessary to try to stay away from such violent people.
In addition to being affected by innate genetic factors, a person's personality characteristics and words and deeds will also be affected by the acquired growth environment and life experience, and the acquired influence is more critical to the cultivation of a person's personality characteristics.
From a psychological point of view, the cultivation of a person's personality traits, the influence of acquired factors is as high as 60%, and among the so-called acquired factors, the impact of the family environment on a person is the largest and irreversible. The education of the family of origin has a huge impact on the individual, and this influence does not decline even when the child reaches adulthood.
According to the results of research by juvenile delinquency psychologists, adolescents' family education methods can greatly predict their future criminal behavior, in other words, growing up in a dark, violent family environment, the juvenile crime rate will be multiplied.
The famous psychologist and psychoanalyst Freud believed that a person's childhood life can greatly affect a person's psychology and will continue into adulthood until the individual dies. It is also a well-known thing that childhood experience will have an impact on the development of an individual's personality, so the original family is naturally very important as the most important carrier of everyone's childhood.
Psychologists point out that there are three kinds of original families that can "eat people", and the possibility of raising children with extreme personalities is extreme, and most of their lives can only live in the shadows.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > powerful families: children's needs are ignored by parents for a long time</h1>
A few years ago, a "Young You" brought school violence to the big screen, and since then, many people have a deeper understanding of school bullying.
One of the clips in the movie is Wei Lai, played by Zhou Ye, who stares at Chen Nian, who is bullied by himself with extreme indifference, and that look is still impressive, and there is no humanity in those eyes, but what is revealed is the eyes of a wild beast catching small animals.
"Poor people must have something to hate", it makes perfect sense, in the movie, Wei Lai is a girl with a crippled personality, she did not form a correct cognitive concept, thinking that having money can balance everything, and the distortion of her personality is for a reason, that is, the family factor.
Wei Lai's father was a successful businessman, naturally rich in money, and naturally his father was extremely demanding of Wei Lai, and Wei Lai grew up in this twisted family environment.
The powerful father restricted Wei Lai's various preferences, making Wei Lai a predator who only knew how to eat the weak. And when Wei Lai finally died, the moment she closed her eyes, she didn't even know why she ended her life like this, and the cold-blooded and ruthless Wei Lai was actually a victim of family education.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="44" > Violent Family: Double Physical and Mental Harm</h1>
In ancient China, there was a saying called "filial piety under the stick", but if you look at this sentence now, you will find that this sentence does not make any sense. The use of violent means against underage children is in fact ineffective, and it will also cause double psychological and physical harm to children.
In the eyes of parents, scolding children is innocuous and can also play a role in disciplining children, but there are many tragedies in reality that can tell us that violent education should be completely resisted, coupled with some parents who do not pay attention to the way when they start, causing excessive physical harm to their children, and this kind of pain parents cannot empathize with.
Some parents beat their children to educate their children, while others beat their children purely to vent their anger. The cognition formed by children in childhood is immutable, especially after being beaten by their parents many times, they will doubt themselves and doubt whether their parents really love themselves, and in the long run, the child's psychological burden will become heavier, and eventually form a mental illness.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="45" > family splits: complex family relationships create gaps in love</h1>
In our society, there is a common phenomenon that many couples, even if their feelings have been exhausted, have entered a state of wanting to look at each other and hate each other, they will not easily end this marriage relationship that has no feelings because of the existence of children, in order to be able to give their children a complete growth environment.
However, in such a family, the probability of quarrels is very high, the husband and wife will always quarrel because of a little trivial matter, how can the children who grow up in such a family environment be healthy?
For parents who only care about quarrels, all a child can do is hide, in a small corner, to find a little sense of security, and the only person who is the most hurt by these quarrels is the child.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
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The First Psychological Writer Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：K. M. R. Rosenzweig. Translated by Zhang Houcan. Handbook of international psychology. Shanghai: East China Normal University Press, 2002
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