What it's like to be lonely, I'm often at a loss for words. I longed for solitude, but I enjoyed the hustle and bustle. In the vast world, among all sentient beings, I have been looking for my own sky, even if it does not exist, even if it does not belong to me, but I never stop my steps.
I was always in a race against time, and I used to fantasize that at the age of thirty I must be different, to be the woman in my mind who had a poetic and bookish spirit. So I kept running, trying to make progress, I took the time to brew, and I made work my whole life.
I thought I would be happy when I did that, but I found that it would only make me more and more lost. I couldn't find a single bit of value for me, and I was getting farther and farther away from myself in my eyes.
Everyone reaches a stage and there is always a change, and this change often affects his life. Just like many of my thirty-year-old friends around me, some people have chosen to start a business and their careers are thriving, and some people have chosen to go away and find a new way out. Alibaba Jack Ma chose to abdicate in his prime, and I chose to find my true hobby in advance at the age of 30.
I couldn't help myself from the sea of books, I think I love to read, and writing is my best catharsis. I never thought that one day I would aspire to be a writer, even if that road is still very far away from me, but the heart that loves writing has not faded.
I have met many friends because of writing, but what impressed me deeply was this friend Li Yudong, whom I liked but respected.
When it comes to Li Yudong, he is definitely a very good writer. He is a native of Taiyuan, Shanxi, who has loved writing since he was a child, and since he was a child, he has grown up in the sea of books, entered the ocean of literature, read a lot of books, and later studied sociology and political science abroad.
After returning to China, Li Yudong chose the literature he loved the most, and he wrote many masterpieces successively, such as "Human Dog Barking" and "Out of Focus" that made him famous in China, and he also became a best-selling author after 85.
I met Li Yudong through the introduction of a friend, and I entered his circle of friends and have often communicated with him since then. We have gone from being unfamiliar at the beginning to talking about everything now, and the process from strange to familiar is evocative.
I have a lot of friends, from writing white to excellent writers, contracted authors, friends at every stage, I don't know why my friends like me, maybe because I am sincere or because I work hard, maybe because we all have a common hobby.
I have never treated every friend, no matter how good he is or how little he writes, I have never despised or ridiculed him. I like equal communication, I like to know everything, I like to communicate endlessly, and I prefer to chat happily with my friends.
When many people chat with Li Yudong, they always like the title of teacher or predecessor, but I don't like it, I respect his excellence, but I want to communicate with him on the same level, we can answer with teachers and students for learning, and what I prefer in life is to communicate in a relaxed way.
Li Yudong has always been rigorous in his approach to literature and talks about history, and he does not like people to expound a problem simply through the understanding of books or out of the social and historical environment. There have been several times when he has debated with his group partners over this, and I have been worried about the quarrel on the side, and I have always hung my heart.
Whenever that happened, Li Yudong was angry, and his heart might be smiling bitterly, just like a person who wants to rely on his own strength to wake up those who are still sleeping, but finally finds that he is powerless.
He took good care of my thoughts, so even if he was angry, he would pay attention to the scale and never get into trouble. Afterwards I will always communicate with him privately, he will always tell me his own views, and then I always echo it, while thinking, height is the most unsolvable problem, that is an upgrade of a person's ideological level, you can't get everyone to reach that height, so the height is not cold.
I don't know if he will be lonely, some people say that everyone who loves writing and reading has a lonely heart, so he chooses to travel in the sea of books and find happiness in the world of words.
I am lonely myself, but I also enjoy being alone. As it is said in Norwegian Woods, everyone is sick but normal.
I often wonder whether such an excellent writer, when he was young and vigorous, who had shook Han Han and experienced flowers and applause that many of his peers had never experienced, would he become another person, a self he did not know.
But later, I found that he did not become another person, he was still him, or Li Yudong, who loved the motherland and cared about the public. His articles are always thought-provoking, going straight to the depths of the soul, like a heavy hammer smashing into people's hearts, so that we can learn to pain, learn to appreciate those hard years, and taste the taste of life.
When his "Dancer on the Corpse" was released, I was deeply shocked when I saw the first one, his style was clean and clean, and the style of personal emotion and history in the text made me love. I can't help but marvel that this is the real writer, and I can't find a single inappropriate point in the text.
The successive blows that this series of articles encountered after the release of the Jane Book used to annoy him. He couldn't figure out why such a positive energy article that could evoke national pride and mission would be blocked by the system, but there are many things in this world that we can't figure out, and what we should face is ultimately to face.
He was like a Saint Seiya fighting alone, not seeing him give up. I remember saying that a good writer and a good work must have a sense of mission and responsibility. Works with a high degree must reflect the characteristics and depth of the times. Then he is the good writer, and he is always concerned about the situation in the world, the national conditions in China, and the ideological life of the general public.
Compared with many writers now, Li Yudong is definitely a leader. His work and personal heights have been at the forefront of the times. When many people write about love, he cares about the country, and when many people write personal learning experiences, he is shouting for the soldiers who have sacrificed their blood and buried their bones.
His state of mind and temperament are like Lu Xun, the same unaccustomed to many things, the same cynicism, the same literati style, the difference is that he is Li Yudong, the li Yudong who has a young soul but longs for more strength.
In such a season of autumn breeze, his life has entered the first turning point of his life. He still has a long way to go, and I believe he will become more and more excellent. And I will still go my way, even if it should be looking up, I will let the height of looking up be lowered, he will hope that I have always been behind him, give support and encouragement, in every lonely time, look back, there are many indomitable people looking up, waiting for him to grow.
Responsible editor| Xiaobai
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