If you are fortunate enough to meet someone who is good to you, you must cherish it and don't lose it, because everyone treats others differently, and cherishes it...
01 There are worries about you hidden in the lessons
Recently, reading the Chinese writer Liu Yong's "Try Again and Succeed", there is a small story intriguing -
Once, Liu Yong wanted to go to a foreign country to give a speech and asked an old friend to drive to pick him up. The old friend promised to arrive early.
But on the day of the speech, the agreed time arrived, but there was no shadow of an old friend. Liu Yong called to inquire, the old friend said that at least it should be ten kinds, Liu Yong told the friend not to rush.
A few days later, he severely criticized his friend, telling him that he was not punctual and small, afraid that he would not seize the time at the beginning, and then desperately grabbed the time, speeding, overtaking...
"You'd rather tell him to be punctual and turn his face to him than let him lose his life for the sake of 'punctuality with you.'" Liu Yong said, "If he is late, tell him: don't worry! Don't worry! Anyway, it's late, don't rush, come safely! ”
As the saying goes, good medicine is good for the sick, and advice is good for the ear. In life, we have made mistakes and mistakes, and some people speak harshly, carry guns and sticks, and of course we are uncomfortable. At this time, it is also easiest to think that the other party is harsh and mean, domineering and so on.
If you think about it, "good medicine" can cure "diseases" and "advice" can change "deeds."
Since you can make yourself better and become a better version of yourself, does those so-called "faces" still matter? Therefore, when someone sends you criticism and advice, you must have the measurement of hearing and rejoicing and the courage to know that mistakes must be corrected, and you must be glad that you have encountered such a "straight tube". Because, their lessons hide their worries about you.
02 There is a worry about you hidden in the block
The two masters, Hu Shi and Luo Ergang, have been praised by scholars for more than 85 years since the relationship between the respected teachers and ai shengkai established in 1930.
When Luo Ergang was young, he worked in the archaeology department of Peking University, and his name is unknown. Because Professor Jiang Tingdi, director of the Department of Literary History at Tsinghua University, will be appointed ambassador to the Soviet Union, someone recommended Luo Ergang to take over and teach the subject of modern Chinese history.
However, surprisingly, Hu Shi did not let go of Rohr. Luo Ergang was puzzled and had an opinion on Hu Shi, and did not go to the Hu family for many days.
One day, Hu Shi saw Luo Ergang and said earnestly: "Ergang, you don't want to come to my house, it seems that you are really angry." But you must know that I will not let you go to Tsinghua for your sake. Modern Chinese history covers a wide range, and now that you have only studied the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom, how do you teach people? Mr. Jiang Tingdi is a professor, how did you get his hand when you first started teaching? If you can't stand at Tsinghua, can you still go back to Peking University? ”
So pushy, so meticulous. After listening to this explanation, Luo Ergang thoroughly understood the good intentions of his mentor. Where do you go to find such a master who thinks about you everywhere? Luo Ergang reflected on himself and became more grateful and loving to Hu Shi.
Confucius said, "The beauty of a gentleman as an adult is the evil of an adult; the villain is the opposite." According to this, those who fulfill your good deeds are "gentlemen", and those who destroy your good deeds are "villains". In fact, everything cannot be generalized. Some people don't obey your wishes and disrupt your plans, in fact, because they think more thoroughly and longer than you.
When someone "bad" your "good thing", you have to know whether there is a hidden plot behind it, so that you can regret it less recklessly. Because, their obstruction hides concern for you.
03 There is concern for you hidden in rejection
My neighbor is a newlywed couple, and his hostess usually lacks this and that, and always comes to my house to borrow. One day, when she borrowed ginger from her mother again, her mother did not lend it to her as cheerfully as usual, but refused.
"Isn't it just a few pieces of ginger, why don't you borrow it?" I asked my mother. The mother said: "It's not that I don't want to borrow, it's that I want her to know that living at home can't be mixed like this, and chai rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar tea, you have to prepare it yourself is the reason." ”
Indeed, the woman had come either to borrow some soy sauce, or to borrow a few garlic seeds, and even to borrow paper. At the beginning, my mother always gave generously, feeling that the neighbors were fate, and there was no need to distinguish so clearly and so carefully, including not paying it back.
"The other day, I heard two people arguing and saying that it was not interesting to be together." The mother said, "Can two people live a perfunctory life like this for a long time?" ”
Not long after, when the mother met the little couple again, she knocked on the side of the side and said, "Full is the day." Later, they would call them by the way when buying things, and they also began to learn cooking skills from their mothers.
Slowly, the relationship between the young couple and the mother got better and better, and said that if the mother had not refused, perhaps their marriage would have had problems.
Many times, you need others to help and help, but it is up to you to fundamentally change. You must know how to know yourself, know how to self-discipline, is the long-term solution. After all, if one gets used to dependence and begging, it will only get worse.
Some people don't save you and don't help you, it may indeed be because they are not righteous and generous, but some people want to give you a dose of "strong medicine" to let you get lost and retreat from the precipice. Therefore, when you are rejected, you must know how to think, to know that your head hits the south wall and you have to turn back, to know that the prodigal son does not change his head, and you must be glad that you have encountered such an "iron heart". Because, their rejection hides concern for you.
04 Conclusion
Life in the world, because of personality, intelligence and other reasons, there will always be such and such losses, there will always be such and such mistakes, if someone sings "against the stage" with you, do not only know angry, blame, resentment, but calmly think about why your wrong people want to teach you, stop you, reject you.
Perhaps, their lessons, obstacles, and rejections are meant to prompt you to reform, to remind you to seek revenge on yourself, to warn you of your rebirth...
Encountering such "straight tubes", "Cheng biting gold", and "iron intestines" is precisely the blessing you have cultivated in your previous life, and they make you take less risks, take fewer detours, and pay less costs.
The hardest thing in life is sincerity.
About the author: Lao Yang, a native of Hunan, works for his livelihood and writes for pleasure in Guangzhou.