What you get is a fluke, and what you lose is life.
Author: Insight Starry
Yu Guangzhong once said: "Shanghai is Zhang Ailing's, while Beijing is Lin Haiyin's." ”
When people reach middle age, Lin Haiyin has not forgotten the twenty-five years spent in the south of Beijing.
With nostalgia for the past, Lin Haiyin wrote the autobiographical novel "Old Things in Seongnam".
A copy of "Old Things in seongnam" has accompanied countless people through their childhood.
Now that I am no longer young, I understand that "Old Things in seongnam" is actually a growth fable full of sorrows and joys.
The three experiences of Hideko's childhood are revealing to us a heartfelt truth about life:
All maturity begins with loss.
Some of the past is preserved by "loss".
In the Hui'an Pavilion at the front of the hutong, there lived a madwoman.
Everyone hated her, and the children were afraid of her, but Hideko was full of curiosity about her.
Once, When Hideko came home and passed in front of the Hui'an Pavilion, she looked up and saw the madwoman smiling at her.
The madwoman's name is Xiuzhen, and she takes Hideko to the room.
Her behavior is very strange: first holding an unfinished dress on Hideko's body left and right, then holding a rope around Hideko's neck, and calling the doll "Little Guizi" on the New Year painting.
Eiko later learns that Xiao Guizi is Xiuzhen's child.
Six years ago, Xiuzhen's lover said that he would come back to his hometown to sell the land and marry her, but he never came back after leaving.
Not long after, Xiuzhen found out that she was pregnant. When the child is born, the parents throw the child under the city root of Qi Hua Gate.
Under the double blow of losing her lover and child, Xiuzhen went crazy.
Only Hideko can see her vulnerability and difficulty.
Hideko affectionately calls Hideyoshi the Third Aunt, and Hideyoshi sees the shadow of her child in Hideko.
In the courtyard of the Hoi An Pavilion, Hideyoshi gently combs Hideko's hair and dyes her nails, and Hideko listens quietly to Hideyoshi's thoughts about her lover's children.
Seeing Xiuzhen collapse and cry, Hideko's tears couldn't help but fall.
In Hideyoshi's story, Hideko tastes loss.
By chance, Hideko discovers that her partner Yu'er's life is very similar to Thato's lost child. The blue birthmark on the back of Yu'er's neck also proves that she is Xiao Guizi, the daughter of Xiuzhen.
Eiko makes a bold decision, and she takes Yu'er to find Xiuzhen.
Looking at the recognition of the bitter mother and daughter in front of her, Hideko experienced for the first time the joy of losing and regaining.
But soon, the parting came again.
The first time Eiko saw it, Xiuzhen did things so quickly.
Xiuzhen hurriedly packed up her luggage and took Yu'er to catch the car.
They walked too quickly, and as soon as they left the alley, Hideko couldn't catch up with them.
Looking at their backs, Hideko could only gently shout their names.
Xiuzhen waved her hand back and told Ying Zi to go home, saying that she would write a letter to her when she arrived in Tianjin.
In the dark street, Hideko was afraid and reluctant.
Finally, her nose was sore and she couldn't help but cry.
As the old saying goes, there is no feast under the heavens.
There are always some people who have not had time to say goodbye and are lost in life.
I have seen such a question: What is the first kind of suffering I taste on the road of life?
Many of the answers summed up, nothing more than two words, lost.
At the moment of parting, I always hold the reluctance firmly in my hand, and I always look at the fading back and collapse and cry.
But as Tagore said: If you weep because you have lost the sun, then you will also lose the stars.
The people and things that were deeply loved in the past were actually remembered in their hearts at the moment of loss.
Some of the past in life is retained by "loss".
Some feelings are fulfilled by "loss".
After Xiuzhen took Yu'er away, Hideko fell seriously ill.
The parents thought that Hideko was frightened by the female madman, so they decided to move to a new home.
One summer, a woman came to Yingzi's family, and everyone called her Aunt Lan.
Aunt Lan was originally the aunt of the Shi family, and the Shi family said that Aunt Lan was driven out.
But Aunt Lan denied it, saying that she had taken the initiative to divorce her husband.
Aunt Lan was also a bitter person, she was sold by her mother when she was three years old, and now she comes out of the Shi family without even a relative.
After Aunt Lan stayed at Ying Zi's house, Ying Zi liked this beautiful and lively woman.
But Ying Zi never expected that his father had a special affection for Aunt Lan.
One day, Hideko saw her father grab Aunt Lan's hand that had finished burning the cigarette.
Father said, "You are a cinnabar hand, but blessed are you!" ”
Recalling that her father had taken extra care of Aunt Lan recently, plus the vinegar in her mother's words, Hideko felt very uneasy.
By chance, hearing Aunt Lan mention Uncle Dexian, a college student in the south room next door, Hideko came up with an idea.
She deliberately said in front of Aunt Lan that Uncle Dexian was a great new youth.
Then, Ying Zi pretended to send a message to Uncle Dexian, saying that Aunt Lan praised him for his learning.
After coming and going, Uncle Dexian and Aunt Lan gradually became acquainted.
On the afternoon of July 15, Hideko told Uncle Dexian that she and Aunt Lan were waiting for him under the Building of the Beijing Press.
On the frolicking street, Ying Zi, Aunt Lan and Uncle Dexian walked slowly, and Aunt Lan and Uncle Dexian talked lowly. As soon as Aunt Lan was amused, she covered her mouth with a handkerchief.
Ying Zi became the bridge between Aunt Lan and Uncle Dexian.
In the end, my father learned that Aunt Lan was leaving Beijing with Uncle Dexian.
At the farewell banquet, everyone wished Aunt Lan and Uncle Dexian a smooth journey, and only the father poured himself into a red face.
He raised his glass, made a big brother look, and drunkenly said:
"I'm the one who is most willing to help my friends, and I like to be a perfect friend the most, don't I?" Dexian, you should treat her well. ”
The day Aunt Lan left, Hideko wanted to cry and laugh, while her father only shook his head at the distant smoke.
In "Seongnam Old Things", Hideko realized the principle of life that many adults did not understand.
When I first tasted the taste of parting, I only felt bitter and unbearable, and I could not reconcile.
But as long as you look forward, you know that the end of one fate means the beginning of another fate.
Hideko loses her amiable elders, but fosters a good relationship. The father lost his inner throbbing, but let the family be fulfilled.
Life is a journey of possession and loss.
If you find parting too difficult, you need to believe enough:
All the loss will eventually return in another way.
Some growth, to "lose" ripening.
The seasons are like a stream, hurrying by.
In the blink of an eye, Hideko is about to graduate from elementary school.
Yingzi, who was reluctant to practice words well in the past, also grew up to be a big child who received a graduation certificate and a thank-you speech on behalf of her classmates in the auditorium.
But the most regrettable thing is that my father was not able to come to Hideko's graduation ceremony.
Her father hurt Hideko the most since she was a child, and as long as Hideko was uncomfortable, her father would hold her and sleep.
His father would teach Hideko the truth with his face stretched, and he would also be happy for Hideko's progress.
The day before the graduation ceremony, Hideko said that if her father was not on stage, she would be afraid on stage.
Lying on the hospital bed, her father said something to her:
"Hideko, don't be afraid, no matter how difficult it is, as long as you do it hard, you will break through."
The next day, wearing the oleander planted by her father and listening to the melodious song, Hideko couldn't help but cry.
When the graduation ceremony was over, the cook Lao Gao suddenly received a call from Hideko's mother, asking Hideko to rush to the hospital.
At this time, Eiko seemed to have changed into a person, and she calmly said, "I know what is going on, I will go." ”
Walking through the courtyard and looking at the weeping oleander, Hideko meditated in her heart:
"Daddy's flowers have fallen, and I'm no longer a child."
In this life, each of us has been a yingzi who shed tears on the stage.
On the one hand, he longs to become an adult on his own, but on the other hand, he is afraid to face the mixed world alone.
I have asked many friends: When did you find yourself growing up and becoming sensible?
Everyone's answers are different, but without exception, they can't escape the ripening of the years.
The chase of time has made the parents' sideburns white, and their shoulders are no longer firm.
Once there is no hope, life forces us to grow into a tree and live our hopes.
After experiencing loss after loss, we finally understand how to say goodbye.
I remember a sentence said by the writer Cao Youfang:
"The so-called growth is to accept any situation that occurs in life, even if it is unfortunate or bad, to face it, to solve it, to minimize the harm." 」
Let go of hope, and even if it is difficult to live in the future, you must carry it alone.
Throw away the disappointment, as long as you endure the pain of loss, you will be able to taste infinite sweetness in the future.
People live a lifetime, encounters are accidents, and parting is the norm. All maturity begins with loss.
As the "Seongnam Old Story" movie interlude sings:
Outside the long pavilion, beside the ancient road, the grass is green.
Ask the jun when to come here, and when he comes, don't linger.
The end of the sky, the corner of the earth, the knowledge of the half-scattered.
Life is rare to be together, only to be separated.
Life is a process of constant loss and continuous gain.
In this process of repeated gains and losses, we eventually move towards maturity step by step.
What is lost cannot be forgotten, then cherish the bottom of your heart.
What is lost cannot be recovered, then let it go.
In the story of time, the meaning of each loss is telling us to cherish the present.
Give it a thumbs up, may you spend the rest of your life without ecstasy, without losing sorrow. Gather more and hug each other, parting less to look back.