Text/ Plain face to the sky
Recently, TVB's new drama "Baby Is Bigger Than the Sky" is being broadcast, and the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the play has aroused the attention of netizens.
The heroine, Kang Yayou, is a full-time wife, and her daughter is two years old. She has a strict personality, loves to be clean, works in an orderly manner, and is very strict with the education of her children. And the mother-in-law Jin Meihuan is just the opposite of her, and she likes to be casual in life.
The mother-in-law does not pay attention to things, a rag, wipes her face after wiping herself, and then wipes the child's mouth, and then wipes the floor. In terms of parenting, the daughter-in-law pays attention to science, the mother-in-law does not care whether the subject is unscientific, and romance novels can also be used as children's bedtime reading.
Therefore, the two people's lives from time to time rub out "sparks".
Once this drama was broadcast, it triggered a heated discussion among netizens about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Someone said, "What a reality!" Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not easy! ”
Some people also said: "Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is difficult to get along!" ”
Although netizens have expressed their opinions, everyone has a consensus: the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is indeed a reality that every family cannot escape.
In life, it is not uncommon for couples who were originally in love with each other to break up their feelings because of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Therefore, if you want a stable marriage and a harmonious family, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must be valued.
A good mother-in-law relationship needs to do the following 3 points.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="157">01</h1>
The best mentality for a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: lower expectations
When colleague Xiaoli is in love, she often praises her mother-in-law in front of people, is careful and considerate to her, always buys things for her, and she and her mother-in-law are like mother and daughter. She even said: "They all say that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not easy to get along with, how can it be so difficult!" ”
However, less than half a year after marriage, in Xiaoli's mouth, she often heard various complaints about her mother-in-law.
She said that she has always regarded her mother-in-law as a mother-in-law, and no matter what she does, she will think of her mother-in-law. Go to the supermarket to buy what you like to eat, and you will also buy some for your mother-in-law. When washing clothes, I will also ask my mother-in-law what is there to wash, and I will wash it by the way.
However, she did not get the corresponding return from her mother-in-law for such a contribution.
When the mother-in-law cooks, she often cooks what her husband loves to eat. She was pregnant, she had severe morning sickness, and her mother-in-law did not show much concern.
Xiao Li's words revealed that her relationship with her mother-in-law was not as good as she expected.
In fact, the mother-in-law is not a mother, do not expect her to pay attention to you and love you everywhere like a mother.
Lai Peixia once said of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: "When a caring daughter-in-law recognizes her true identity, she may feel a brief loneliness at first. But this kind of discovery can actually free yourself from the illusion, easily match it, and no longer compete for favors. If you have to measure your mother-in-law by your mother's standards, it will undoubtedly make you more frustrated and depressed. ”
The mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law are originally two people who have no emotional basis and blood relations, and they have an intimate connection because of the same man.
The most direct statement is that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are just social relations.
Mother-in-law should not expect the daughter-in-law to be as considerate of herself as the daughter, and the daughter-in-law should not desire the mother-in-law to tolerate herself everywhere like her own mother.
The best state of mind for a harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to lower expectations of each other.
Lowering expectations of each other can reduce a lot of unnecessary sadness and feelings of loss. In this way, we will be more comfortable with each other and the relationship will be more harmonious.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="161">02</h1>
The most comfortable way to get along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: to maintain a sense of boundaries
The sense of boundaries is an indispensable red line for people to get along with each other. No matter how good the relationship is, it must not cross the line.
In intimate relationships, people often unconsciously break through that red line and participate too much in or even interfere in the affairs and lives of others, thus triggering contradictions.
In the variety show "Mother-in-law and Mother", Lin Zhiying took his wife Chen Ruoyi to accompany Mother Lin to spend Mother's Day.
Chen Ruoyi, who is sensible, bought gifts and flowers for her mother-in-law in advance, and as a result, she was given a lesson by her mother-in-law as soon as she entered the door.
Chen Ruoyi wore a pair of porous jeans, and her mother-in-law asked: "Why didn't you zipper well?" ”
Chen Ruoyi replied that it was designed in this way, the mother-in-law asked her to change a dress, Chen Ruoyi said that she did not bring formal clothes, the mother-in-law listened or did not forgive: "Come to our house or do not wear this shorts, not polite!" ”
Across the screen, I felt Chen Ruoyi's embarrassment.
Some netizens directly shouted: "The matter of wearing clothes is also managed, this mother-in-law is too no sense of boundaries!" ”
Indeed it is.
The contradiction in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mainly that there is no sense of boundaries, and I myself have a deep understanding that my mother-in-law has to intervene in the affairs of my family, which makes me very painful.
My newly purchased house decoration belongs to the simple European style, the kitchen is open, but the mother-in-law said that she did not agree with anything, and had to use a sliding door to separate the kitchen and the living room. As a result, I was overwhelmed and my heart was blocked when I saw the sliding door.
I am busy at work, many times, it is a weekend cleaning, usually I simply clean up. However, my mother-in-law has the keys to my house and often comes to my house during the day without greeting.
Go into the bedroom, study, kitchen to clean up, sometimes, in my own home, I don't know where what I need is.
I angrily told my husband not to let my mother-in-law do this, but he thought I was not satisfied.
Bi Shumin said: "Keeping a distance close is the most appropriate way to communicate. ”
The same is true of the mother-in-law relationship.
The mother-in-law should put herself in the right position, distinguish between her own home and her son's family, not interfere in the affairs of her son's family, and do things in a measured manner.
The most comfortable way to get along between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: maintain a sense of boundaries.
Care for each other but not too warmly, respect each other but not too indifferent.
Both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law must guard their own boundaries, so that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can get along most comfortably.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="164">03</h1>
The most harmonious medicine between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law: mutual acceptance
Some netizens asked: "Why is it difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to blend together?" ”
The most praised answer: "The most fundamental reason is that we do not accept each other." ”
Deeply.
In the mother-in-law' place, the son is his own heart and liver baby, and he is the closest to himself. After marriage, a strange woman came to the family, took away her son's love, and also commanded her son to do this and that, and the mother-in-law unconsciously regarded her daughter-in-law as an imaginary enemy.
This kind of psychology led her to take a magnifying glass to see her daughter-in-law's various words and deeds, and to nitpick.
After watching a video, a woman said live that she and her husband divorced because of a bad relationship with her mother-in-law.
She loves to dress up, her mother-in-law says that she is ostentatious, married and restless, causing her husband to be suspicious of her; she orders a takeaway, and her mother-in-law says that she can't calculate, and she doesn't know how to save...
No matter what she did, the mother-in-law could always find her fault.
In fact, this is why the mother-in-law did not accept her, so it was not pleasing to her everywhere.
And the attitude of the mother-in-law makes her also refuse to accept the mother-in-law, as long as it is the mother-in-law's business, she is against the husband's management, and the relationship is more and more stale.
Therefore, the most harmonious medicine for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is mutual acceptance.
Because of mutual acceptance, there will be tolerance and understanding between each other.
In this regard, Cheng Lisha and her mother-in-law are good examples.
Cheng Lisha has some little princess temper, loves temperament, loves to do, Guo Xiaodong sometimes can't accept it, and the two people quarrel.
Cheng Lisha would call her mother-in-law, who would stand by her side without asking why, telling her son: "You are wrong, Cheng Lisha is right." ”
My mother-in-law said that only if it is good for the daughter-in-law, our little family is good!
The mother-in-law's heart-warming approach, Cheng Lisha also sensibly treated her mother-in-law kindly.
The mother-in-law was used to living in the countryside and did not want to come to the city, so Cheng Lisha accompanied Guo Xiaodong to the countryside for the New Year, and her nose was frozen and she never complained.
Baby Anne said: "Before, it was not easy for me to forgive others, let alone let go of myself. Nowadays, everyone, I can see their faint flickering brilliance, and from this reflection on myself, there is nothing unacceptable. ”
The human heart is made of flesh, and sincerity is exchanged for sincerity. Consider the problem from the perspective of the other party, accept and understand more, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will naturally be harmonious and harmonious.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="165">04</h1>
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, from the love of the same person, and become a family without blood, the relationship between the two people is not intolerable.
In the process of getting along, do what you should do, reduce your expectations of each other, keep your boundaries, accept each other's differences, and it is not so difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along.
Home is the harbor of love, family is the dependence of each other, and getting along harmoniously is the best love for the family.
Feng Zikai once said: "If you love, life is lovely everywhere." If you hate, you can hate everywhere in life. If you are grateful, you can be grateful everywhere. ”
If you have love in your heart, there is no problem that cannot be solved.
Responsible Editor x Circle Rolling Duty Editor x Screw Clockwork Bird