I hope that I can help me with some ideas from you and help solve my current emotional entanglements, and I will be very grateful.
I, now 48 years old, she, now 45 years old, the two of us are secondary school classmates, in 2015, that is, five years ago, we met by chance, we had feelings for each other, I had an extramarital affair with her for nearly two years, and I have met several times in the past three years, without skin contact.
At that time, I was in Chengdu, she worked in another municipal city, the two places were nearly an hour's drive apart, and from time to time they got together, and the feelings were still OK, of course, they could not do without my man's sweet words. At the beginning of 2017, due to my job change, I was transferred to another city farther away from her to work, and it took about a day to take a car and less time to meet.
My type of work has changed, the work pressure has increased, with the change of time and space, so I have less time to care for her, and the phone contact is relatively small, and the passion of the two people before has changed and become indifferent to me.
Her enthusiasm has not diminished, resulting in weChat and telephone fights between the two sides at any time, until now, the families of both sides are not clear, only two female classmates know about this matter, these two classmates and our two have a better relationship.
What kind of person is she? From childhood family conditions are superior, living in the city, pampered and habitually raised, did not suffer any hardships, did not suffer any setbacks, face thinking is particularly serious, the big family also get along harmoniously, since getting along with me, she feels that she found a person who is good to her, the spirit has sustenance, when she cheated on her husband is also because of the contradiction with her husband, now her husband and wife although not divorced, feel that the relationship is very general.
She has a cleanliness fetish since childhood, I often say that she is obsessive-compulsive cleanliness, even the hotel bed she will not sit, she is a person who never wants to go to the hospital after being sick, starting last year, she said that because of my changes, she was lukewarm and lukewarm, inconsistent, feeling that she did not love her, she already had mild depression, at any time I thought of death, I explained to her, I said that time and space have changed, coupled with the pressure of work, this does not mean that I do not love you.
She is very demanding of me, a very wayward and very irrational person, demanding that I must put her first in everything, call at any time must be answered, even if I am inconvenient at home, I will continue to beat her if I do not answer, I will be crazy to scold.
I am currently separated from my wife, the relationship is very good, I do not want this matter to let the families of both sides know, if the family knows, it will make their respective partners have a shadow, it may be the rupture of the two families, resulting in adverse consequences.
She didn't understand this at all, said it was time to answer her phone, and put her in what position? Do you still look at my wife's face when you take a phone call? I said that now after all, I still have a family, and you don't want to get a divorce, she said, what did you say when you contacted me at that time, and now you are worried about your wife every day? I said do you want to get divorced? But she didn't say this, just said that if she got divorced one day, asked me if I was married to her, I said I didn't want to go to that step, I also clearly told her, my wife is ugly, I will not divorce, but I don't want to hurt her, my wife is very good to me, kind, good heart, straight. She was even more unhappy when she heard this, and she couldn't accept my statement at all.
Since I arrived at the new unit, usually for a word, or a phone call is not right, will cause an uproar, the phone WeChat often cursed me and my family, at any time threatened that she was going to jump into the river and jump off the building, said that she herself thought of death every day, she blocked my WeChat at any time, and then unraveled, repeatedly so many times, scolded me inconsistently, betrayed her feelings for me, said that I cheated on her, she had no face in front of her classmates, she could not look up, no courage and confidence to live.
I said so what do you want me to do now? But I will not divorce, at any time also threatened to let my wife know about this matter, to find my unit leader, all kinds of threats, all kinds of looking for death, telephone WeChat scolded me for nearly three years, if you talk to her well, coax her a few words, she is slightly happier in her heart, but every few days it is not that thing; I am afraid that she is too deep, really when she divorces her husband, what to do, my family also has a contradiction What to do? I don't want to get to that point.
She would occasionally buy me some clothes to send before, I told her not to buy, afraid that the more she paid, I was a little bit bad to her in the case of her heart was unbalanced, I in order to repay her, but also bought her a watch of equal value, etc., this time she said to buy me clothes, I said no, she said I drew a line with her, and began to quarrel, all kinds of threats came again, pushing the original feelings to the edge, I think I even divorced, I will not look for people like her. Which one can stand it?
She said that this life is an enemy, to retaliate against me, let me not be at peace, at any time at eleven or twelve o'clock in the evening to call, because her WeChat phone has been cursing me and my family, I have no way only these two days I put her WeChat and phone blocked, she is even more crazy, knowing that black or gave me dozens of phone calls, with his husband's phone, family's phone, colleague's phone, called hundreds, I refused to answer, today she called a classmate to bring me a call, said must immediately return a phone with her, otherwise I want to be at my own risk, She also checked the phone numbers of my unit and my home to make a big deal out of it, and I really had a headache.
Want to cut her off, if the WeChat phone is blocked, she will have to look for death, to borrow a phone crazy, find a classmate to write, make my face light, today I unravel her WeChat, she screenshotted, in the morning has been looking for my home, unit phone, want to find things. He also said that he had lost face in front of his classmates and could not live.
I think it is not related to her cleanliness obsessive-compulsive disorder or mild depression, I let her go to the doctor when she is sick, she also insisted that she has no problem, and will not go to the hospital, saying that I have hurt her, I think as a forty-something person, how can there be a vigorous love like the plot of the people of many years ago or in the TV?
In view of the above situation, please ask the teacher: how can I break this relationship with her well, no longer be harassed and threatened by her, and I don't want her to feel so uncomfortable one day. She has been harassing me for several years, and I really can't stand her torture and threats, I hope you give me a high trick, if you can use it, if you can get together and disperse, I will thank you!
Men play extramarital affairs such as drug addiction, the first infection of drugs feel fresh, stimulating, there will be a kind of shaky pleasure, once addicted, the ring is not, not quit is not, wait until one day the drug addiction completely eroded the body to the end of the disease, and then want to quit it is more difficult, cheating men such as also, Xiao San is also like this, the only difference between them and the cheating man is that they know that this man can not give himself the future but still want to come to a fish dead net, this is not that she is too deeply in love with too real, in the final analysis is still a "greed" The words made her not willing to give up.
There really is no unbroken extramarital affair in this world, and there is no little three that can't be shaken off! If you have played with the middle school female classmate for two years, you now want to break this evil relationship with her, as long as your heart really makes up your mind and dares to put it into action, it is completely okay, and in your letter, you use most of the pen and ink to denounce her is not and shortcomings, every word reveals your disdain and disgust after playing with her, but you have not reviewed the shameful feelings between you and her, you are the real initiator; you have not felt guilty about the harm you and her secret affair brought to your wife and children. You say that you are like a victim, in fact, you are just a scumbag who steals people behind his wife's back, and the scum is so official-sounding, for you such a "negative scumbag", all the retaliation against you by Xiao San is a kind of retribution, deserved!
If you knew that, why did you do it in the first place? When you and her first bed, you should think of today's ending, you not only did not stop the horse in time, but also slipped farther and farther on the moral scale, do not use the banner of "separation between the two places" to find reasons for your stealing, do not excuse her and her husband's bad feelings, you are a good person, as long as you cross the thunder pool, you are destined to plant mines in your respective marriages, blow up your dog men and women, but your animal behavior will also invisibly hurt several innocent children, and now you are beginning to annoy her. And she doesn't seem to give up easily, in addition to her unwillingness, she has more hatred for you, this hatred is more than your "negative heart" your "scum", she does not retaliate against you to retaliate against whom?! Thinking about what you have done in the past two years, shouldn't you pay for your own filth and shamelessness?!