The first person in Chinese-style management: Zeng Shiqiang
The full text of the | is 2900 words, and it takes 7 minutes to read in depth, benefiting | for life
Complaining seems to be one of the most common emotional reactions we have when we complain about an incident.
For example, when we encounter some bad things, we like to say, Oh my God, you are really unfair!
In addition to complaining about the sky, the next thing is Youren. To be a special person is to push the fault to others. Thinking that it is all someone else's fault is the situation in which others have harmed you until now.
In fact, complaining about things is the worst reaction, it is very unfavorable to yourself, it will not only make your interpersonal relationships bad, but also hinder you from making progress, making you worse and worse.
So, how did the bad habit of "complaining about the world" come about, and how should it be adjusted and corrected?
1
If you slowly reflect on yourself, you will realize that many of the practices you do when you grow up are actually because you were stimulated like this when you were a child.
For example, some children like to eat fingers, because they are scolded as soon as they eat their fingers from an early age, and as a result, after adulthood, when they encounter tension, they will still be unable to control eating fingers.
Some children like to tear paper, because adults always tell him not to tear paper, always suppress him, he is more interested.
"To" is the same as "don't", no different.
You have always stressed "don't", but the child is very impressed, and he will unconsciously turn it into "want".
So don't tell the child, don't do this, don't do that, don't tell him, want to do this, want that.
Both will make a deep impression on the child and eventually affect his life.
We learn fear from a young age, and we are denied because my mother says this doesn't work, that doesn't work.
You are repressed a lot, and then you rely on your parents, because only by relying on your parents and listening to them, you will not be beaten, which is an abnormal phenomenon.
We slowly escape from reality and fantasize about a very good world, the advantage is that we are creative, the disadvantage is unrealistic.
Have you ever seen that the biggest problem of many people is complaining.
He's here, he starts complaining about here, you transfer him to another place, he starts complaining about that place again.
This kind of person is 100 dissatisfied everywhere, seeing who is 100 angry, how can his life be good?
We slowly learned to use language to protect ourselves, and we began to find many reasons for ourselves.
Chinese are experts in reason.
A man breaks the cup, breaks it, you ask him, why break? He replied that the cup was too slippery with oil, otherwise I wouldn't have broken it.
We will definitely find reasons to prevaricate and deceive ourselves.
Why do children find reasons? Most of them are caused by the mother.
Once the child breaks something, the mother shouts, damn it breaks again! The child thinks, why should I be damned if I break the glass? Yesterday Mom also broke one, why not damn it?
He didn't dare to ask, so he began to suppress himself, so he created an idea: one day I will know when I grow up. This is a terrible idea.
Children rebel when they grow up, and disobey when they grow up, which is why they are too obedient when they are young.
Children use reasons to make up a lot of lies from an early age, all of which are caused by the wrong education of their parents.
Originally the child broke the glass, the mother told him, break it, the mother also broke, we pay attention not to be scratched by the glass, just clean it up. If you react this way, the child is normal.
You start by making a fuss, as if a child has done something terrible, and he starts to accumulate a lot of emotions.
When I grew up, I saw that I found a reason for everything, and I was unlucky all my life.
2
These perverse emotional legacies that we have accumulated since childhood often linger.
So when you grow up, you either complain about God or complain about others, always thinking of pushing responsibilities or mistakes out.
Does it work, or does it make us better? It doesn't actually work, but we use it a lot, so what to do?
Here to share a very specific method for your reference.
For example, when I was a leader and held a review meeting, I rarely said that this was wrong or that was wrong, because it was useless, it would only make everyone very uncomfortable.
I will definitely say that you are not wrong in this matter, it is my fault, I did not have any concerns at the beginning, I was very thoughtful, in the process I found out, did not propose a way in time.
I'll admit I'm wrong, and then I'll see how people react.
If people say it's your fault, I should review it even more. Why is everyone saying it's my fault?
Either I have a problem with my leadership, or I usually really don't care about them too much, causing them to be unanimously dissatisfied with me, or it is really my fault.
But this is mostly not the case, and when I take the blame on me, everyone is more brave to come out and take it.
This person said that this has nothing to do with you, it is my fault, and that person also said that it has nothing to do with you, it is my fault, and all the faults come out.
Then I said, since each of us shares a part, it doesn't really matter, we should really remember this mistake and never make it again.
That's fine.
Chinese has his own effective approach, but not the Western one. Westerners are you must first admit that it is your fault, as soon as you say this, who dares to admit it? As soon as you admit it, it's over.
It is you who force everyone not to admit it, not to Chinese to die and not admit mistakes.
We often do things that don't work because you can't adjust yourself.
The most important thing is to cultivate reasonable thinking ability, and not to let yourself live under the influence of the outside world and the shadow of childhood.
Most people are like this. Man is an animal of habit, there is nothing wrong with that, but habits are to be changed, and changing habits begins with changing ideas.
As soon as the concept changes, the habit changes, and as soon as the habit changes, the emotion changes, and then all the effects are different.
We need to cultivate some more sound, more realistic ideas to replace our previous ideas.
For example, when encountering problems, do not think about pushing out at the first time, but first ask for yourself.
3
It is more effective and convenient to ask oneself than to complain about oneself.
The greatest thing about Zeng Zi is to often reflect on himself, otherwise what is great about Zeng Zi?
He didn't do anything official, and he didn't have any money, but he was remarkable, reflecting on himself and reviewing himself every day.
Introspection is not to regret, there is nothing to regret, everything that has happened is a good thing.
It's not about playing, some of it is good and it becomes good; some of it is bad, it is bound to be bad, because it is your heart that determines everything.
If you think about it as a good thing, you can learn some lessons and adjust it into something good; if you see it as a bad thing, it will continue to be bad, because you have been thinking in a bad direction.
For example, people borrow you 100,000 yuan to do business, and as a result, his business has collapsed, and the money is not repaid, what do you do? It's useless for you to scold him, it's useless for you to sue him, it's useless for you to hit him.
You tell yourself that this is a lesson, fortunately it is 100,000 yuan, if it is 1 million, then I am finished today, fortunately I did not have a loan to lend him that year, otherwise I would not be able to eat and go away.
You accept the lesson and you have to change later, but you are fine.
It is better to find someone to be angry than to seek rationality, and it is better to complain about people than to seek rationality.
We have slowly come to some conclusions, that is, if a person wants to become better and better, he must always review himself, often adjust himself, and often change himself.
The purpose is only two words, that is, "reasonable". Reasonable is good, once it is excessive, it is not right.
But we often overdo it, or we don't. So we summarize it into one word, which is very familiar to everyone, which is called "degree".
Everything is a matter of "degree", not whether it will be, whether there is or not, whether it is good or not, that "degree" is reasonable and you can do it.
Of course, the grasp of "degrees" is not so simple.
It is hypocritical that you are too polite to people, it is pride that you are rude to people; it is flattering to you to be too kind to people, and it is prejudiced that you are not good to people.
If you do it too quickly, people will suspect that you have benefited; If you do it too slowly, people will suspect that you are unwilling.
You have to perform everywhere, others think that you are a very weak person, afraid that others will not know your existence; you do not show anything, people think that you are too afraid of death, you do not even dare to do this, do you live to do it?
Everything is right, but nothing is right, how to pinch it just right, this is the kung fu of life cultivation.
In short, in the face of things, it is easy for us to complain about others, shirk responsibility, and find someone to face the crime, which is called white gloves.
Since ancient times, people will, not now, push the responsibility to others, who would not?
But we have to think back, is this effect good or bad?
The answer is that there are no good results, so we have to change, otherwise there will never be growth.
It is better to seek others than to seek oneself, push responsibility, scold others, beat people, and the final sequelae you have to bear.
The most reliable person under the heavens is himself, and others are unreliable.
Even parents, who love their children the most, but when the parents are old and powerless, there is still no way.
Therefore, the most reliable thing for people is themselves, reflect on themselves, change themselves, master the reasonable "degree" by themselves, and change the bad habit of complaining about the world when they encounter it.
Then, you will continue to grow and live more and more freely.
Contents of this article: A compilation of Professor Zeng's writings
#pgc-card .pgc-card-href { text-decoration: none; outline: none; display: block; width: 100%; height: 100%; } #pgc-card .pgc-card-href:hover { text-decoration: none; } /*pc 样式*/ .pgc-card { box-sizing: border-box; height: 164px; border: 1px solid #e8e8e8; position: relative; padding: 20px 94px 12px 180px; overflow: hidden; } .pgc-card::after { content: " "; display: block; border-left: 1px solid #e8e8e8; height: 120px; position: absolute; right: 76px; top: 20px; } .pgc-cover { position: absolute; width: 162px; height: 162px; top: 0; left: 0; background-size: cover; } .pgc-content { overflow: hidden; position: relative; top: 50%; -webkit-transform: translateY(-50%); transform: translateY(-50%); } .pgc-content-title { font-size: 18px; color: #222; line-height: 1; font-weight: bold; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap; } .pgc-content-desc { font-size: 14px; color: #444; overflow: hidden; text-overflow: ellipsis; padding-top: 9px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 1.2em; display: -webkit-inline-box; -webkit-line-clamp: 2; -webkit-box-orient: vertical; } .pgc-content-price { font-size: 22px; color: #f85959; padding-top: 18px; line-height: 1em; } .pgc-card-buy { width: 75px; position: absolute; right: 0; top: 50px; color: #406599; font-size: 14px; text-align: center; } .pgc-buy-text { padding-top: 10px; } .pgc-icon-buy { height: 23px; width: 20px; display: inline-block; background: url(https://lf1-cdn-tos.bytescm.com/obj/cdn-static-resource/pgc/v2/pgc_tpl/static/image/commodity_buy_f2b4d1a.png); }
Don't let emotions drag your life down ¥39.8 Purchase