Wen | Li Beichen
"At sixteen, you're a complete loser. You are willing to be a loser, not as unwilling and unhappy as you are now. ”
Mid-Autumn Festival, casually talk about the moon, and other things.
You may feel that the moon always revolves around the earth in a stable cycle, which is an almost eternal existence, even if it is cloudy and cloudy, it will always hang in the sky.
However, there is no "forever" in this universe, and astronomers will tell you that the Moon is moving away from the Earth at a rate of 3.8 centimeters per year, and that in a few billion years, the Moon could leave Earth's orbit and begin a new life in a new orbit in the solar system.
Even the moon has to say goodbye to the past, let alone mortals.
I haven't lost sleep for a long time, and I haven't slept last night, probably because the moonlight is flickering, and a fierce thought suddenly emerges. For the first time in a long time, I thought of my girlfriend in college.
In our rotten school, where the ratio of boys and girls is seriously imbalanced, some people falsely praise her as a "school flower", and you can imagine how much effort I spent in order to chase her.
In fact, there is no, it is nothing more than crazy writing articles for her. After all, I had nothing but words.
And only in the text can I dare to say such a riotous thing as "when we graduate and rent a house, we must have a good visit to IKEA".
I didn't write day and night, I didn't have the heart and lungs to write, I didn't have the shame to write. Put it this way, now I can make a living from words, and I'm doing well, thanks to the proud, rejecting, cold face she presented to me when I first met her.
Fortunately, the text had a temperature, and I melted the frost on her face line by line, word by word.
That was 13 years ago.
Later we didn't get together. As for the reason, it has happened tens of millions of times in this world, and it is nothing more than "I had nothing at that time."
I never saw her again after I graduated, and I don't know if her indomitable face has been blurred by life.
There is no point in nostalgic for the past, and talking about her today, I suddenly realized that she and I would enjoy the same moon today.
It's just that the bright moon is thousands of miles, sending not acacia, but a sentence, "I can't look at IKEA things anymore, I hope you are too."
This can be turned into memories, friends.
And I happen to hear the saying: "Just at that time" is my story, your story, and the story of everyone throughout the ages.
It's just that this kind of story can make people lose sleep.
When my insomnia was at its worst last year, I was alone in the Hexi Corridor for half a month.
Passing through the Zhangye Great Buddha Temple, I heard the locals say that there was only one main hall here more than a decade ago, and now the archway and side hall have been built, and face recognition has been added. In the whole monastery, only the great Buddha has never changed, sleeping here for thousands of years, always expressionless, not sad or happy, quietly watching human beings pretend.
The moon is not like this. Hanging there, not sad or happy, looking down on the tragic and joyful dramas in the world.
Is the world rotten?
I think so.
How to say it, the pursuit of "sixpence" is certainly not a bad thing, and the realization of class transition is even more a good thing. I mean, in order to temporarily detach from the days of being trapped, would you dare to make a fool of yourself again and look up at the face full of rejection in your youth?
Do you dare to stop folding five buckets of rice to the waist disc protrusion?
Do you dare to say "no" to this aesthetically unambiguous world again?
Frost has a poem that makes it very clear: "There are two roads in the forest, and you can only walk one forever, missing the other." ”
Coinciding with the Mid-Autumn Festival, the Moon is empty. On this perfect night, the moon uses its consummation to reflect your regrets.
Are you afraid of regret? I'm afraid.
Finally, i would like to send you a paragraph as a Mid-Autumn Festival gift.
In the novel "Late Silence", two high school friends reunite many years later, and one of them says to the other:
"Your appearance has changed. Your smile still has traces of the past, as if you are dissatisfied and indifferent to everything. But this smile is too thin. You're just laughing, just looking around, your eyes empty. You don't seem to find yourself depressed at all. There was light in your eyes in the past, but now it is extinguished. In the past, no matter what you wanted, as long as you wanted, take out a childish spirit to do it to the best, and simply don't do it when you don't want to. Because of this, you lived hard at that time. At sixteen, you are a total loser. You are willing to be a loser, not as unwilling and unhappy as you are now. ”
I wish you a happy Mid-Autumn Festival.
Happy growing up.
Author: Li Beichen, independent contributor. WeChat public account of the same name: Li Beichen