Have your parents ever said to you: I do all this for your own good!
Have you ever said to your child: I do all this for your own good!
In the face of children, we always want to do our best to let him grow up to be the best he can be, but what is most important for children? I believe that this Douban 8.8 point "Rainbow Shines" will bring you inspiration and thinking.
Stills from "Rainbow Shines"
The film tells the story of an 8-year-old boy, Thomas, who has been living in an orphanage since the death of his grandmother, who is a bit stuttering, lonely, sensitive, and timid. The heroine Mel adopted him, took him into the beautiful island, and with respect, love and tolerance, let Thomas unload his defenses and become cheerful, confident, and brave, all because of love.
8-year-old Thomas was bathed in the glow of a rainbow
This is a healing film with the theme of family affection, through beautiful scenery, moving music, and warm pictures, we can see: love can be transmitted, the ability of love can be transmitted, and the unconditional love of parents is a powerful weapon for children to face life.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >01 She is like a rainbow, bringing boys into the rainbow world</h1>
The film opens with a gray orphanage, all wearing gray uniforms, the sky is gray, and only Thomas's chairs and colored pens are colored. This out of place little boy, in a trance, saw a colored figure, he thought it was an illusion, but in fact, it was the person who could bring him color--Mel, his adoptive mother.
Wanted to bring Color to Thomas Mel
For the first 10 minutes of the film, Thomas doesn't speak. Since the death of his dependent grandmother, Thomas has never felt love again.
The book "Neglected Children" points out that as children, they are like small computers, receiving feedback from the environment, storing it in memory, combining various kinds of feedback, and developing a set of cognitions about their skills, talents, flaws, and deficiencies.
Before meeting Mel, Thomas was a neglected child, and the environment gave him little kindness in his feedback, and he formed the perception that remaining silent was the least hurtful way to do it. It was Mel who opened Thomas's closed heart with tolerance and patience, giving his life a little more color.
rainbow
Edward Tronik, a scholar of infant studies at Harvard University, once demonstrated an experiment with a "no expression" face.
3 minutes before the experiment, the mother interacted normally with the baby, smiling, soft-spoken, and the baby was very happy, smiling and dancing from time to time. After 3 minutes, the mother turned her face and changed her expressionless face to face the child. Seeing his mother's expression, the baby immediately froze, and he tried to make his mother respond to him with various actions, but his mother was still expressionless. He began to look anxiously at his mother, putting his hand in his mouth and sucking to ease his uneasiness. After waiting for a long time, he found that his mother was still expressionless, and the baby completely collapsed and cried loudly.
Expressionless experiments tell us that even babies can sense the emotions of adults. What made Thomas let down his guard was Mel's warm smile and Mel's whispered introduction.
Emoticon interaction
Most families are much luckier than mother and son. They only have the fate of mother and child when the child is 8 years old, and most of us have an emotional foundation. However, how many parents repeat the expressionless experiment with their favorite children every day, so that children can slowly close their open hearts.
In order for the child to be able to do things according to his own ideas, parents first be gentle and reasonable, the child has not changed, he threatens to warn, the child is still delaying, immediately change his face, yell, throw the next sentence: Whatever you want! I don't care about you anymore! Children cry and parents are indifferent. Slowly, the children no longer share their joys and sorrows with us, leaving a back shadow, each of them sad. If you don't want an ending like this, the moment is the best chance to change. Learn Mel's smile, emotions, and language to make your child feel your love.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >02 She is like a friend, accompanying the boy to retrieve his lost childhood</h1>
Thomas's childhood was missing, he had no unbridled joy, no intimate companionship, no greater space for him to explore, and all his life was only in a "prison" like an orphanage. Mel takes him to a green, colorful island, and through constant encouragement and guidance, Thomas tries many new projects: jumping mud pits, digging bird eggs, making friends, feeding animals, sharing secrets...
When Thomas laughs like a child, it brings us a lot of warmth. It's all thanks to Mel, who accompanies him like a friend, encourages him, guides him, and eventually Thomas regains his lost childhood. When the rainbow appeared in the sky, and also in the hearts of Thomas and Mel, the childhood that was shrouded in gray was finally painted with color and color.
Herzen said that "childhood" plus two or three years of youth is the most abundant, the most beautiful, the most important part of life, and almost the most important part: it unconsciously determines the whole future.
In real life, many children's fullness, beauty, and part of themselves are slowly being stripped away, and the rainbow of childhood colors is becoming less and less, and the pressure is increasing. Life revolves around learning, and everything is aligned with the score. Except for homework, classes, and practicing skills, nothing else seems to matter.
A little girl running with colorful balloons
There is a saying: a happy childhood heals a lifetime of pain, and an unhappy childhood must be healed with a lifetime. Wang Zengqi, who was praised by Mr. Shen Congwen as "China's last pure literati", had a rough life, was beaten as a rightist, exiled, and experienced criticism, but he had the ability to find some fun and enjoy life in the most difficult days. The reason is that he had a colorful childhood, his father took him to fly kites, taught him musical instruments, accompanied him to paint, tossed with him, passed the grades, perfectly interpreted what a colorful childhood is, and he used this happy childhood to heal decades of pain.
A little boy who catches butterflies
Childhood is not only about age, but also about constant exploration and the joy of satisfying curiosity. There is not a single person who is rich and peaceful and happy at heart who is not full of curiosity. I hope that parents and friends will no longer only look at the grades, the most important thing is to let the children enjoy the joy of learning, keep curious, the world is so big, do not let one desk take away the color of childhood.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" >03 She is like a bridge, sending children into the power plant of love</h1>
Mel said: Thomas is a gift from Heaven to us
As an important member of the family, her husband Eric's attitude determined Thomas's whereabouts. Mel knew that Eric was a hot and cold person on the outside, and she was sure that Thomas was a kind child, and she predicted like a prophet that they were the gift of each other's lives. So she deliberately created opportunities for them to be alone, building a bridge between the two isolated islands to give them the opportunity to contact each other. It was this opportunity that allowed Eric to see Thomas's kindness and bravery, and also made Thomas feel Eric's warmth and softness.
This is so enlightening for Chinese mothers. For now, with the increase of age, the communication between father and son in most families is getting less and less, and the distance is getting farther and farther. The mother acted as a lubricant and a bridge, communicating at both ends, building a bridge and giving each other more links. No wonder some people say that a family is happy or unhappy, mainly depending on the hostess of the family. Women in happy families pass on love, and women in unhappy families pass on criticism and blame.
Kimberly Brian is the world's first child education expert to propose "emotionally guided education", she pointed out in "You are the best toy for children": the importance of emotional guidance has laid the foundation for the intimate relationship between children and their parents for a lifetime.
Mel uses a lot of emotional guidance techniques when communicating with Thomas, which is worth learning from every parent. She always pays attention to Thomas's state, smiles, carefully perceives Thomas's emotional changes and responds in time, and looks into his eyes when communicating with him to show attention. This greatly enhanced Thomas's self-confidence and the importance of himself. When Mel died, Thomas adamantly stated that the family needed him and Eric needed him. It can be said that it is Mel's way of loving that makes Thomas quickly fill his heart with love, quickly learn how to love others, immediately take responsibility, send the child to the power plant of love, and this love is fed back to Eric, helping the decadent Eric out of the smog and entering the colorful world again.
Thomas and Mel
This is a great contrast with the parent-child communication we see in life, in life, many parents only move their mouths when talking to their children, their eyes are staring at the mobile phone, their ears are unresponsive, and the content feedback is mostly perfunctory. What the child feels is not the importance, but the parents do not care about me at all, do not love me, and my only value to this family is to get a high score. Who has the ability to love others if he has no love in his heart?
The cup is full of overflow, and love is full of self-flow. Learn Mel, when the child is looking for you, put down the things in your hands, crouch down, look into his eyes, feel his emotions, and guide and help him speak out, so that emotions can be released, in order to better solve the problem. In this process, we are the partner of the child, we are the backing of the child, the child will not only feel the importance of himself, but also feel the full love of his parents for him. In this way, he will learn to deal with emotions and learn how to love others.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > written at the end:</h1>
Parents are the rainbow in their children's lives, don't let the children's sky be only monotonous gray because of homework, winning or losing, and uncertain future. When you let your child have responsibility, self-esteem, and the ability to love, he will give us unexpected gains, and may not become the richest man, but the ability and method of peace of mind and having happiness are not the most important things we should teach our children? I hope that every child can be treated with tenderness, and I hope that every parent can learn to express love.
As long as you want, you can use love to place the rainbow in your child's childhood, just like a painter with countless colors, who can paint a more wonderful future.
Welcome to @Fat Garden 191, feel the warmth and love together.
#新作者扶植计划 Phase II #