Source: China News Service WeChat public account
I work as a funeral planner in a funeral home
Author: Du Yan Xu Jing
Can you accept, on a voluntary basis, that you will hold a farewell ceremony before your death, or even participate directly in the planning?
"Friends and family get together, talk about the past, talk about life and death, talk about the days when there is no 'me' in the future." I can say my wish list, and even the current "me" talks to the dying 'me' and tells my loved ones. ”
Two years ago, Jin Middle School, a funeral planner at Beijing's Babaoshan Funeral Home, planned a "farewell party before death."
Two years have passed, and everything is vividly remembered.
Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home Funeral Planner Jin Middle School. Photo by Tomita
The talk of "death" is no longer a secret
"All along, due to many factors, Chinese is secretive about death, but change is happening little by little." In this regard, Jin Middle School was deeply touched.
Before entering the funeral industry, Jin Middle School worked as a technician at a state-owned enterprise in Beijing for nearly a decade. During this period, his friend's father died unexpectedly, and his good friend was grieving and unable to help himself, Jin Middle School assisted in contacting the funeral home with various funeral matters, from the overall arrangement of the funeral, to the playback of a piece of music, the placement of a flower, and so on.
Friends told Jin Middle School afterwards that their heads were blank for those days, and in addition to grief or grief, Jin Middle School was the one who led the way.
Listening to the narration of friends, recalling the care and empathy of the staff who always listened patiently and tried to meet the requirements during the contact process, Jin Middle School germinated the idea of understanding the funeral industry in depth from that time.
In 2006, he entered Babaoshan Funeral Home and became a funeral industry practitioner.
Although he had the support of his wife and parents, in the first few years, he was reluctant to mention his new career to his classmates, relatives, and friends, "more because he was afraid of causing taboos from others on the occasion of the party and the occasion of the joy." ”
"Now that everyone around me knows my profession, people sometimes have small discussions about life and death." Jin Middle School said that with the development of society, people's concepts are gradually changing, and the talk of "death" is no longer secretive.
Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home Funeral Planner Jin Middle School. Photo by Tomita
Treat yourself as a temporary relative of the deceased
"To be born, to do things is to be ritualized; to die, to be buried is to be ceremonial, and to be sacrificed is to be ritualized." In the work, in the face of the grieving relatives of the deceased, in the three to five days of planning the funeral, Jin Middle School regarded itself as their temporary relatives, coordinated matters in communication with the families of the deceased, and more calmed and channeled emotions.
When the emotions of the deceased's family erupted, Jin Middle School patiently listened and gave a peaceful response. When confronted with conflicts between the families of the deceased, he urged "temporary contradictions to be put aside, so that relatives can leave quietly and smoothly." ”
The reporter followed him to the farewell hall, where a funeral was about to be held the next day, and he carefully inspected the wreaths, the knots made, the flowers and so on.
He told reporters that each funeral will be based on the life of the deceased, a personalized plan. For example, if the deceased is a scholar, the flowers in front of the portrait will take the shape of a book; the deceased will be a musician or music lover, and the flowers in front of the portrait will display musical scores, and so on.
In the farewell hall with the theme of plum, orchid, bamboo and chrysanthemum, a large screen is set up in the middle. He introduced that personalized content will be used on the big screen to show the deceased's voice and smile before death.
"Without violating management regulations, the needs of the deceased's family can be met." Jin Middle School said that sometimes even a small detail of perfecting the funeral came up with a step ahead of the family, such as adding to the audio the original voice of the deceased who often hummed songs before he died, and paying homage to the deceased to complete the last wish.
With such intentions, Jin Middle School has been like a day for 15 years, and so far he has participated in planning nearly 10,000 funerals.
Among them, there are funerals of babies several months old, and funerals of centenarians over the age of 100. At the funeral, there are parents who miss their children endlessly, and there are also young fathers who "come to the end of their lives" after fighting with the disease and want to say "I love you" to their parents out loud...
"There is no rehearsal for life, and there is no rehearsal for funerals." Jin Middle School said that Chinese is more subtle, and always feels that many things still have time to do, many words still have time to say, but sometimes they can't wait to touch death. And what I can do is only in the last kilometer of life, express respect and love for the deceased, and hope that a funeral without regrets will comfort the living people, and people will have fewer regrets and live better.
During the Qingming Festival, people worship their ancestors at the Laoshan Columbarium in Babaoshan, Beijing. Photo by Tomita
Technology has changed the way of sacrifice, and it has not changed the reverence for life
Death is a part of life, a state of nature that everyone must face. In recent years, funeral institutions in Beijing, including Babaoshan Funeral Home, have held open days to allow more people to enter funeral institutions, approach the funeral industry, and even enter the community, introduce the funeral policy of benefiting the people, promote the integration of green and scientific and technological elements of funeral styles, funerals, sacrifice methods, and also carry out life education.
At this year's open day, Babaoshan Funeral Home launched a demonstration of the theme of "Flowers Blooming and Epidemic Dispersion, Ceremony and Cloud Combination", integrating traditional culture into modern technology, expanding the spatial artistic conception, dynamic 3D high-definition scenes, customized 5D landscapes with high-tech screen projection, and leading the relatives and friends of the deceased to remember their ancestors and worship their ancestors through drama-based and scene-based expression.
In the view of Jin Middle School, these break the existing spatial shackles and facilitate modern people to remember and pay tribute, but what remains unchanged is the inheritance, sense of ceremony and solemnity of the memorial, and what remains unchanged is the reverence, gaze and philosophy of life.
Jin Middle School repeated the "farewell party before death" in his mind again and again, hoping to explore life education and promote life culture in every funeral he hosted, so that people can reflect and sort out their lives at the end of their lives.
Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home hosts a public open house. Photo by Tomita
Switching careers into the funeral industry: say goodbye to decency
A funeral and a sacrifice is a respect and respect for the deceased, a rest for the deceased, and a comfort for the living.
Today, at the Babaoshan Funeral Home, Dong Ziyi, who was demobilized from the army in April 2009, is already a gold medal emcee, with a funeral planner in the studio.
Dong Ziyi first dealt with Death fifteen years ago, when he was serving in the army. In the early winter of 2006, Dong Ziyi was patrolling the mountains of Huludao, Liaoning Province, when he found a white package containing a breathless baby. He was distressed by the child, so he asked the company commander to bury the baby. Dong Ziyi buried the baby well, and he was a little reluctant.
"When this child dies, he must leave some traces." He found a stone, carved a date, and stood at the head of the child's grave. It is precisely for this reason that after demobilization, Dong Ziyi resolutely chose Babaoshan Funeral Home.
"I think that's what it's already doomed. Subconsciously, I felt that I should choose this profession. Dong Ziyi said, "After that time, I changed my view of death. A decent goodbye to the world is a very important thing. ”
Beijing Babaoshan Funeral Home launched water-soluble sacrifices. Photo by Tomita
Over the years, he has studied humbly, studied hard, and strived to improve the level of service, he treated the deceased and his family members like his relatives, and with sincere and patient quality service, he presided over 2,000 farewell meetings, received 100,000 family members and guests of the deceased, and never made any service business errors.
It is worth mentioning that more and more Chinese people are paying attention to death education and changing their views on funerals. Fan Mingxin, a former flight attendant, Han Yaru, a former preschool teacher, and Guan Tian Xintong, a newly demobilized lady... They are young, have joined the funeral industry, in their work and strive to achieve "sadness over his sadness, pain in his pain, nostalgia for his remembrance, happiness for his happiness", giving the deceased family the best understanding, support and help, so that the industry has more hope and color.
At present, Jin Middle School, Dong Ziyi and colleagues are thinking and exploring: how to extend the services of the funeral industry forward, and whether it is possible to plan the farewell ceremony "ahead" under the premise that people are willing, and even let the parties directly participate in the planning? Can it help people who are dying to fulfill their long-cherished wishes in life?