Stills from the movie Miss Potter
In the TV series "I Really Love You", Xiao Yan said:
"Woman, how to choose is wrong. Choose a family, they will say that you are not motivated, rely on men sooner or later yellow-faced mother. If you pursue a career, they will say that strong women are doomed to be unhappy, and it is better to do a good job than to marry well! ”
Say that every woman's heart can be.
But being born as a woman, do we really have to be depressed in such a dilemma?
Of course not.
Throughout the history of human development, although women still have many helplessness in social and family life, they have to admit that women's rights and interests are gradually improving. Especially now, women are getting more and more job opportunities, and their performance in the workplace is getting better and better, and some people even say that "her time" is coming.
This article wants to combine the movie "Miss Potter" to talk about how women live their lives well.
Women who are mothers should know a rabbit called "Peter", even if they did not read it when they were young, but now in order to tell their children picture books, they will also know "The Story of Peter Rabbit".
In fact, what is more exciting than "Peter Rabbit" is the life of its author, Miss Potter.
A woman, if she can spend this life like her, is worth it.
Women, if they can do these 3 points, whether married or not, will live well.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" >01 has its own hobbies and spiritual pursuits</h1>
Potter lived in England at the end of the 19th and early 20th centuries, when a woman's destiny was to marry and run a family life. In potter's mom's words, "Planning dinners, attending social events, and putting up with a man who doesn't know what to expect on time."
It was in this environment that Potter was fortunate to find his own hobbies and spiritual pursuits, perhaps inheriting his father's talent for painting, Potter loved painting incomparably, and the rabbits she painted at a young age were already exquisite.
But Potter's parents always believed that painting could not become a career, and women would eventually have to marry. Potter's father, when he was young, was also forced by the family's repression to give up painting and study law.
Potter, 32, is still unmarried, and the "pressure" she is under is certainly much greater than the girls who are now called "leftover women".
But Potter is very determined, and he is really not willing to settle for those blind dates arranged by his mother. In fact, when Potter was 10 years old, she clearly told her parents that she could not get married, "I have my little animals, and it is enough to have them with me."
People, the most afraid is boredom.
And getting married and having children will make a woman busy all her life, busy with her husband and children, but never herself. Is it really because you are busy and lose yourself? In fact, many women who do not have spiritual pursuits, even if they are not busy with their husbands and children, do not have themselves, at that time, but feel empty, feel that time is difficult, and can only seek low-level fun.
It is not that marriage is a cage, but that many women do not have a spiritual pursuit and love of their own.
When it comes to spiritual pursuit, it seems to be very large, very empty, far away from us, and even some so-called "pragmatists" will call it "pretense".
But even the most ordinary woman also needs spiritual pursuit, otherwise how can square dance be so popular?
However, the spiritual pursuit advocated here still hopes to be "advanced" and detached from the physical and psychological "low-level fun".
A woman, once she has such a spiritual pursuit as Potter, has a love like her love of painting, whether she is married or not, she will have herself, and she will not care about the eyes of the people around her and suffer from gains and losses, affecting her own mood. She will live her life well and feel incomparably fulfilled in this pursuit.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="54" >02 has money</h1>
I just want to summarize this with the word "rich".
We can say that Potter was lucky that her books were selling well and that she was very rich. But don't forget, she also went to see publishers with her manuscripts in her arms at the beginning, and she also ran into walls everywhere.
Although Potter was born into a wealthy family, she did not have the idea of "monetizing" her paintings at first, but she got this result. With this strong financial support, Potter is invincible in the "struggle" with her parents, she can live on her own, she bought a farm in the countryside and lived her own life.
In fact, in the process of changing children into adults, the first authority to defeat is "parents", and some writers have said: "Sooner or later there will be a war between children and parents, parents win is tragedy, children win is success." ”
Potter did not want to get married, and his parents forced him to get married. Potter meets norman, a true love, and his parents reject his identity as a publisher and prevent Potter from marrying him. But Potter had a career in painting, and the opposition of her parents had a very limited ability to "interfere" with her life.
As early as the end of 1923, Lu Xun pointed out in his speech "What Happens After Nala Left". Women's emancipation should be fought "fiercely" for economic rights, and "if the economic system is reformed, then of course the above is complete nonsense".
Women, whether married or not, cannot give up this "economic right". Because now that we have this right, Potter can paint, we can do so much, and they collectively call it — work.
Tang Jing said in "The First Half of My Life": "The ring is beautiful, I can buy it myself." ”
When we have this security, life will never get bad.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="55" >03 follow the fate, but take the initiative to seize happiness</h1>
In life, some girls really don't have the "problems" of the so-called "leftover women", but why are they left? In fact, many of them are only at that stage of marriageable age, hindsight, with the mentality of following fate, left and right, etc., and there have been "opportunities", but they have quietly slipped away.
The 32-year-old Potter and his "Peter Rabbit" met the person who appreciated them the most, Norman, in order to let the readers see the colorful Peter rabbit, and in order to satisfy Porter, Norman invited Porter to the factory to personally check the printing, in that era such behavior was "shocking", no lady would enter the workshop.
What is love?
First, let's see how it happens.
Ancient and modern, Chinese and foreign, in all kinds of literary works, good love is like Porter Norman began, although the word has been used badly, but it has to be said that - like-minded, have the same emotions, each other can get Peter's "point", Peter can appreciate each other's "light".
After being impressed with Norman, Potter hesitates, she does not want to give up her "unmarriedism", but a good friend's advice finally allows Potter to open his heart and embrace love.
Even when opposed by his parents, Potter was extremely determined and firmly took happiness into his own hands.
But the disease took nomo's young life, and Potter's thoughts were gray and his thoughts became ill. Although they are not yet married, a lover is a lover.
In life, there are always such things that we can't control, just like Potter met Nomo and lost him in an instant, this kind of accident, our little individual can't control.
After Nomo's death, it was the "little animals" who redeemed Potter.
Potter came to the countryside, in front of the vast amount of time, the beautiful idyllic scenery, slowly healed Potter.
It wasn't until the age of 47, when Potter met William, a rural lawyer in the process of protecting the Lake District, and the common pursuit brought them together, that Potter opened his heart again. But her parents still disagreed, feeling that a small local legal adviser was not worthy of their daughter.
Eventually, Potter and William entered the halls of marriage.
Potter's two feelings came with fate, but each time it was inseparable from Potter's own persistence and efforts.
I think this is the best attitude for women to face feelings: have a self, be self-reliant, not in a hurry, not blindly demanding, but when love comes, they can cling to it.