01.
There is a fragment of the novel that is impressive: the male protagonist used to do something that made the heroine's grandfather feel painful, and after this incident, the male and female protagonists went to different paths.
Many years later, the male protagonist and the female protagonist met by chance, and the male protagonist asked the female protagonist, "About me, does the old man have any expression?" ”
The heroine replied:
He said he couldn't see in you the calm and humble demeanor of your father.
He said that your experience is too shallow, the city government is not deep, and even worried that you will be depressed after you really enter life, because your sharp style is too easy to hit.
Did you really do that later? ”
The man replied, "That's right..."
The question arises: Why can a weather-beaten elderly person judge what a teenage youth will face in the future by just one side?
02.
There is also a novel written by Mr. Lin Yutang, "Jinghua Smoke Cloud", in which my favorite person is Mulan, Mulan this girl has done a lot of interesting things, the most interesting is that she advocates to give her husband Sun Yana concubines.
To know that in the conventional concept, no woman is willing to give a concubine to her husband, and modern readers are even more blunt and difficult to accept.
I understand Mulan's approach, if I am a Middle Eastern woman, my husband can marry several wives, I don't mind him marrying at all.
So one has to ask, is there anything in common between these two stories put together? Of course!
The male protagonist in the first story has a vision of "how should the world be..." in his heart, and the set of ideas that guide his behavior will inevitably hit a wall when it touches reality.
What he does comes from his subjective wishes, but not necessarily in accordance with the law.
Many people have hit a wall and know how to turn back, but some people have to hit the wall and break their heads and bleed. It takes years, decades, or even a lifetime as a price.
One day they suddenly woke up, unable to regret it, but the mental strength was like time, a huge consumable.
After that they easily fell into nihilism, easily became depressed, and collapsed. This is the root of the old man's judgment of what young people will face when they grow up.
Mulan does not have the ideal of "how the world should be..." She knows how the world is", not "how it should be".
She knew that the world at that time was inferior to men and women, knew that Sunya liked to look at beautiful women, and knew that Sunya hated the officialdom. She does things that please her husband, and what makes her smarter than the average woman is that she keeps her pleasure at the same time.
Why do some readers fall into the condemnation of "Mulan does not love Sunya at all"?
Secular love is the right exercised by the strong against the weak, not by the weak against the strong. This is the rule.
You can love a cat, give it food, take care of it, stroke its belly, it scratches you and you are not annoyed, it gets angry with you and coaxes it.
But how do you love a tiger? Do you dare to touch its belly? It's angry can you coax it back? Can you pick it up? You can't, you can't love species that are stronger than you, more dangerous than you.
In the final analysis, this invisible rule affects us all the time, and those who obey it will be happier, and those who do not obey will only demand it, and may never find a way out.
03.
Compare people to a river. The river has its own flow, its own direction, its own scenery along the way, and its own laws of operation.
Why do girls often ask boys why they ignore her when they are in love? Hence the loss of soul.
In fact, it is because the boy has his own calm river, and the water flows endlessly forward.
The girl did not realize that she had to dig her own river, but kept cutting off the boy's water flow and interfering with the boy. Boys are angry because of this, and girls are mad.
Girls think that boys don't love her, why should they be involved in love or not? Love seems to be a pit, and anything can be buried in it.
Women have been vassals of men for many years, men know the importance of digging their own rivers, and women always want to go along with men without digging their own rivers.
The problem is that times have changed, and everyone has to find their own river, occasionally intersecting, which can also be regarded as a kind of intimacy.
The first story ends with a wonderful debate about "If it is not the sun, then what exactly has had a decisive impact on human civilization?" ”
The heroine replied, "It's the river." "The river has all its laws. And the female protagonist has an insight one step earlier than the male protagonist.
Everything is like a river.
We have heard a lot of truths and read many stories since we were young, and if we copy them as dogmas, they will become carving boats and seeking swords.
The real law will change with the change of reality, just as a boat travels across the right bank of a river and then across the left bank of a river, just as yesterday's river weather was a rainy day, and today's weather is sunny. We cannot observe the same dogma without regard to the situation of the river.
We can only obey it and change it when we can.