Zhang Jiajia wrote in "There is a Commissary in the Clouds":
"The comfortable relationship between people is that you can not speak at all times, and you can talk at any time."
Not feeling embarrassed by a moment of silence, nor being noisy because you keep talking, is the highest state of making friends.
The interaction between people is indispensable to speech.
People who are not tired of talking can stay tireless for a long time and never get tired of looking at each other.
No matter who you associate, if you want to be stable for a long time, in the end, it is a little, appreciation.
The appreciation mentioned here is not only the attachment brought about by money and the admiration attracted by status, but also the good feelings from the inner world.
With someone who appreciates you, no matter how you look at others, in his eyes, you are shining.
Since cooperating in "Finding the Dragon", Chen Kun and Shu Qi have become very good friends.
Not only do we not forget to celebrate each other's birthdays every year, but we also often make dinner together.
Once a reporter interviewed, talking about Shu Qi, Chen Kun gushed endlessly:
"Shu Qi's dedication surprised me, she has claustrophobia, there is a fear of heights, but when filming, facing hanging Weah, facing the confined space, she can always overcome it again and again."
For Shu Qi, Chen Kun's appreciation is overflowing with words.
Chen Kun yu Shu Qi's words, the advantages are innumerable, good acting skills, good character, real and unpretentious...
They are two people who can appreciate each other, and they both reach their respective peaks in the field of acting.
No one needs to bend down to look down, and no one needs to look up to please.
You think I'm good, and I don't think you're bad, the best relationship, nothing is better than this.
Only when they are evenly matched will the relationship be stable.
Appreciate each other's tacit understanding, will not give up.
In interpersonal communication, we will encounter such a phenomenon:
Some people see each other at first, but after deep friendship, they find that the other party is not what they imagined, so they quickly shoot and scatter.
The reason is that people always show the best side when they first start.
And whether two people can get along for a long time depends on the three views, personality, emotional intelligence...
Self-media person @ Xiaowu once told such a story:
While working at his last company, he met a very talkative colleague, Ye Zi.
On weekends, they often meet to eat, go shopping, and play billiards together.
As they got along, Xiao Wu found that this friend was good to everyone else, but there was a problem that gradually made him unbearable.
For example:
Xiao Wu usually drives to work, after Ye Zi knows, every day he takes a detour to rub his car, once or twice Xiao Wu is more accepting, but every day, Xiao Wu is a little dissatisfied.
Every time they eat together, they are always used to automatically erasing zero, everyone is 98, he always rounds the default 95; they all come to eat, why bargain with their colleagues.
Another time, Xiao Wu went back to his hometown to deal with some family affairs, and after he returned, Ye Zi had to inquire about the reason for his return.
Obviously, Xiao Wu didn't want to say it, but he had to get to the bottom of it.
Such a sense of no boundary, this matter completely angered Xiao Wu, and later every time Ye Zi came to him, he always used the excuse to shirk it.
The reason is that he feels that he has not been respected in this relationship.
After this incident, Xiao Wu came to a conclusion:
The right thing to do at the beginning is not really a good fit, and the long-term comfort of getting along is really a good friend.
Respect is a kind of common sense, how you treat others, others will treat you.
As Kant said:
"I respect any independent soul, and while there are some that I don't approve of, I can understand as much as I can."
Only when people feel respected can they truly build comfortable relationships.
Only by being with people who know how to respect can we get along well and have a pleasant atmosphere.
The world comes and goes, and you'll meet a lot of people, but there are very few people who really understand you.
Because I understand you, I have a tacit understanding.
In front of him, you don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing, and you don't have to speculate about the special meaning of the words.
With him, he not only understands your desires and stops, but also understands your unspoken meaning.
With such a person, it is comfortable, comfortable, and free-spirited, even if it is silent, it is also a peace of mind.
The TV series "Do you know it or not, it should be green fat red thin" told such a story:
Minglan was originally in love with xiao gongye and even thought of marrying into the He family.
The little grandfather also made a vow at the minglan mother's tablet: in this life, the car will enter, and non-Minglan will not marry.
But as simple as a little grandfather, in the face of the mendi divide and the battle in the compound, he finally chose to compromise with reality.
Rather than saying that the little grandfather was weak, it was better for the prince of the family to be like him, who had been dressed in gold and jade since he was a child, and it was difficult to understand Minglan's situation as a concubine of the Wupin official.
In contrast, Second Uncle Gu is the more suitable candidate for Minglan.
Second Uncle Gu has a similar life to Minglan, he also has no mother and father since he was a child, is suppressed and excluded by his stepmother, and is estranged from his father and is not valued.
These experiences have made him the one who knows Minglan better.
He understood the stronger mentality in Minglan's heart, and he never cared to become anyone's concubine, and the only big lady he wanted to hire was Minglan.
Not only did he save Minglan in the turmoil, but he also firmly sided with Minglan in every compound struggle.
He is a truly capable, responsible, and well-rounded man who can protect her.
The person who understands you is like this, he can not only see your sunny side, but also through the surface optimism, see the shade under the sun.
Such a person is a medicine to cure you.
Su Ling said:
People who understand you will love you the way you need.
The person who doesn't understand you will love you in the way he needs.
Knowing that you are cold and warm, understanding your sorrows and joys, and appearing just right when needed, this may be the best way for a person to love you.
Adult love is not to say a lot of love words, but to do a lot of things that move you, and it is also to understand the heart you want to say and stop.
When you meet a person who is not tired of talking, you must cherish it.
Not everyone can give you such a feeling, which means that you have met a soul with three views and a good character.
Liao Yimei said:
"In this life of a person, it is not rare to encounter love and sex, but it is rare to meet understanding."
With someone like that, you just said a point and he understands the whole thing you want to say.
Between people, without all words, it is suitable to take out the table and say.
When you meet such a person, he sees through your vulnerability under the strong, sees through your sadness under the sun, and understands your desire to rest, which is your luck.
With them, chat a little to understand, a thorough talk, communication costs will be greatly reduced, do not have to waste too much time, emotions, energy.
The rest of life is short, and interacting with people who are not tired of talking is what makes the rest of your life happy.
Click [Watching] and encourage you.
Author | Su Shanshu will not be reasonable, but will only tell stories.
Image | Visual China