Some time ago, when talking about "Zheng Shuang's surrogacy", I talked about it,
What a difficult process it is for a woman to conceive a new life.
Pregnant in October, you will experience various reactions such as morning sickness, waist and abdominal pain, and your internal organs will be squeezed and deformed as the fetus grows.
Once childbirth, whether it is a vaginal birth or a caesarean section, it will bring the mother's body an incomparable tearing pain.
Not to mention the postpartum period, there will be countless sequelae waiting.
Procreation, which should be a sacred word.
The emergence of surrogacy has made it a product of money.
Therefore, most of those who support surrogacy probably do not have the opportunity to feel this "fertility pain".
It just so happens that there is a new film recently.
Let us see and hear once, her pain and screams —
Fragments of a Woman
Another Oscar hit.
The heroine of this film, Vanessa Kirby, is the seeded player of this year's Oscar queen.
Most viewers should be familiar with her.
The princess in the British drama "The Crown" and the white widow in "Mission Impossible 6" are all sexy and beautiful beings.
But this time, she no longer showed beauty.
Off camera, she roared, screamed, cried bitterly, collapsed, and was indifferent.
Is a woman full of emotions and fragmented.
The film opens with a thirty-minute long birth sequence.
Martha and her husband, Sean, are ready for a new life at home.
On the night of the pot, they called Barbara, the doctor who had made an appointment before.
Coincidentally, someone was delivering another pregnant woman and didn't have time to come over.
Only another midwife can be replaced temporarily.
Production is imminent, such a sudden situation, obviously let the couple faintly uneasy.
Fortunately, the midwife who came also looked familiar and professional, and Martha was at ease to enter the formal production stage.
As we all know, the pain of childbirth is not sudden.
We follow Martha's response and can feel her pain changes directly.
At first, it was a regular labor pain.
Her brow furrowed slightly, and she moaned occasionally, but turned her head to be amused by Sean's jokes again.
Soon the amniotic fluid broke, the contractions accelerated, the pain intensified, and various vomiting reactions followed.
Martha was visibly a little anxious, sometimes lying on the yoga ball and sometimes standing up.
Later, the vicious expression and the tightly locked brow can no longer bear the invasion of pain.
Martha screamed fiercely and had to take a big breath at the midwife's arrangement.
Production encountered resistance, and the child refused to go down.
The scene began to change, from the living room to the bathroom to the bedroom.
Martha's feelings are also in a transitional period, sometimes decadent and calm, sometimes extremely intense.
Finally, in the final stage of exertion, Martha had to arch her body and use all her strength under severe pain.
The green tendons of the neck and forehead were highlighted by the force, and the eyes were red as if they were about to protrude.
At this time, she could not care about any shame, and began to curse, scream, and vomit, desperately trying to end this pain quickly.
This section, whether it is the performance of the heroine or the director's camera, is called wonderful.
Calm progression, fast conversion.
The 20-minute long shot is fully narrated to tell us about the change of rhythm and the slight hint of the emergence during this childbirth.
And the picture at the end of the basin is even more straightforward and raw.
Let a mother endure all the pain in childbirth, as far as the audience can see, straight to the heart.
Finally, with a few small cries, the baby came out.
It's a girl.
Martha hugged her excitedly, bowed her head and kissed, feeling the temperature and smell of the newborn.
The midwife had just breathed a sigh of relief, but the next second, she panicked when she couldn't hear the baby's crying.
The child's face was already blue.
By the time the ambulance arrived, it was too late.
In the half-hour plot, we witness a desperate production journey from the pain of tearing to the joy of new life to the loss.
We also know that this "fertility pain" is far from over.
The picture turns, and the time comes to a month later.
Dressed in big red, Martha suddenly appeared in a gray street, returning to work and life.
For the loss of a new life, everyone in this family is exuding sadness and pain in their own way.
Husbands are accustomed to showing their wounds to outsiders and seeking venting and comfort.
He yelled at the doctor and cried and pleaded with his wife.
After seeking fruitlessness, he began to numb himself with alcohol, smoke, and sexual desire, and used anger to evade responsibility.
Martha's mother, on the other hand, was busy taking the midwife to court.
I want to use the so-called justice to relieve the guilt in my daughter's heart, let her forget the pain, and face life.
And Martha, on the surface she is so calm, can not see a ripple.
Calmly let people leave her office; calmly listen to her mother's friends say no itchy and painless comfort to her; calmly watch her husband angrily scold the doctor who stated the cause of her daughter's death.
But wounds are everywhere.
Physically, the fear of leaking urine still needs to wear adult diapers to go out, and there are also embarrassing situations that face sudden leakage of milk and wet clothes.
More seriously, it is psychological.
It looks silent, but the heart is already full of Cangyi;
It seems to be back to normal, but in fact it has been separated from life.
The color of the nails that fell off, the kitchen that was untied, the balloons that had fallen out, the green plants that had fallen out... All the detail shots verify this.
She closed herself up completely, exuding a strong sense of alienation.
Martha wants to treat the wound in her own way, but the people outside will only blindly persuade.
Unable to feel her pain, much less able to understand her grief.
As a result, all kinds of contradictions arose.
Wife and husband's.
Martha and Sean both come from different social classes.
One is a bridge builder, and the other is an elite with his own independent office.
Martha's mother never agreed with the son-in-law, but her daughter insisted.
The reason for perseverance is, of course, because of love, and it is this man who brings her spiritual support and stability.
During childbirth, you can see that Sean takes meticulous care, snuggles with heartache, and constantly encourages.
It just happened.
For the death of their daughter, the two have a completely different way of dealing with it.
One vents as loud as possible and wants to get out as soon as possible.
One plunges into one's own inner world and withdraws from the outside world.
Such differences do not only come from personality, but also from the different feelings of men and women about childbearing.
Like Sean's memories of his daughter, they came only from the body that had been warm for a few seconds in his arms, and the cold corpse in the morgue, and the baby room they had carefully prepared.
So he would react so much to Martha's act of donating her body and cleaning up the room.
Martha is different.
The daughter who has been in love with her for ten months is a fragment of her body that brings her both physical and psychological pain.
She immerses herself in herself, savoring the pain while trying to maintain her identity and memory as a mother.
But at this time, Shaun only cares about his own feelings and cannot understand his wife's calm or even indifference.
So alcoholism, infidelity, domestic violence.
The spiritual support collapsed in this change, and the two eventually broke up.
Another layer of contradiction comes from mother and daughter.
In the relationship with Martha, the mother has always been in the dominant position.
Martha has also been trying to resist, marrying Sean and giving birth at home, all of which are her struggles against her mother.
The same goes for the loss of a child.
The mother still wants her own way to get her daughter out of her grief, raise her head, and face life again.
Like all mothers, she had a face that she always cherished and the classic quote that always blurted out, "You won't listen to me like this."
It's not that I don't love my children, it's just that this love is too strong.
Therefore, the mother and daughter were once out of harmony.
The movie is called "Fragments of a Woman", and such fragments have multiple meanings.
It is a fragmented identity, a mother who has lost her child, a wife who is not understood, and a daughter who has been manipulated.
It is also a fragmented emotion, scattered into countless pieces of sadness, reluctance and self-blame.
How will Martha piece together this broken identity, a little bit away from the broken emotions?
At the end of the film, she announces that she dropped the charge against the midwife, saying that it was not her fault for deliberately causing it.
Even if you punish her, you can't get your daughter's life back.
Instead of passing on her anger and self-blame, as her mother had asked, she maintained rational and gentle empathy.
At this time, she may still be sad, still broken, but she has learned to live with loss.
This coexistence is also another kind of rebirth.
Just like in the movie, she has been holding it in her hand and occasionally sniffing the occasional chewed apple.
The smell of apples was her only feeling for her daughter after she was born.
So, she put her nostalgia for her daughter on the apple.
The apple seeds are collected, germinated, and finally grown into apple trees, bearing new fruits.
Martha also has a new family and a new child.
But that loss will not go away.
The child who left is still a fragment,
Like this apple tree, she will always be perfumed and accompanied by Martha's life forever.