Recently I heard a concept called alpha male. In mammalian populations such as orangutans and wolves, there will always be one of the strongest male dominant groups, which is called alpha male leaders. These alpha males are the first to eat and enjoy absolute priority and control over the resource boundaries of the entire population. When you look at the animal world, you should often see that the lions who go up the prairie to catch buffalo are often females, and then these female lions will bring food to the group for the males and lion cubs to eat. These male lions often put their efforts into competing for the position of leader of the group. I have also seen a case in a previous BBC documentary where scientists filmed a male orangutan challenging an old alpha orangutan who could not beat a new challenger, but four or five female orangutans around him went up to help, and the challenger ended in failure. Subsequently, the scientist explained that the females and cubs in the group will also choose, but this does not mean that alpha can become weaker, once he is weak to a certain extent, no matter how deep the feelings are, it is useless. In fact, the lower limit of this weakness is very high, and in the case of equality and slight inferiority, it is possible for other females in the group to choose the male who has been dominating them.
Alpha males may not necessarily be personally responsible for the usual food, but must be the top predators of the group, although usually female lions go hunting, but this does not mean that male lions will not hunt, on the contrary, the success rate of male lions is better, and the muscle content of male lions is higher.
Our human history is only a few thousand years, but this species has evolved over millions, tens of millions of years, is it possible that the human race even now still has the gene of worship of alpha males in its genes? Now there is a concept called alpha male, I first heard about it in an international emotional counseling firm, their main client is men who can't find a girlfriend, so they will talk about how you are now a loser how to become a human quality male with alpha male leadership temperament. I was shocked when I learned about it. Some of china's emotional consulting companies that teach how to make girlfriends are basically how to do display surfaces on WeChat, which is actually to deceive women in the end, to create people in the WeChat circle of friends, to create their own is a very powerful look. The display includes a wide range of aspects, including shooting angle problems, doing some high-end activities in the circle of friends or directly posting some things that do not belong to themselves. No wonder so many women say she's been PUA. Many foreign emotional counseling companies will not teach men who come to counsel how to cheat on girls, but teach them how to socialize and not to cower, and socialization and management are an important feature of alpha men. Some of them will also directly tell you how to become an alpha male, basically talking about girlfriends is no problem, it is good for their entire life. Because a man can't find a girlfriend in society for a reason, most of the emotional counseling companies will not be because they are poor to find a girlfriend, most of them are nothing more than playing with boys when they were young, resulting in emotional problems later, when they meet girls, they are red in the face, we normal people should be very young when there is a stage only to play with the same sex, the back will not be like this, will learn the gentleness and carefulness of women and other characteristics. A real alpha male is a leader temperament and ability, including socializing with women, that is to say, if you practice a muscle in the gym every day, but you can't communicate with women, usually after exercising, you will stay at home to watch anime, and your energy throughout the day is focused on fitness, in fact, the overall willpower is not strong, nor is it very manly, let alone alpha.
Before there was a human society, we could refer to animals such as orangutans and wolves to know what the alpha male leader of the group was like. What about in human society? To know that the general social range of animals is just a few, more do not know, generally a group of more than a dozen or twenty people. But people have slowly had hundreds of thousands of people, and human society is complex, how can it be considered an alpha male in such an environment? I don't know if you've heard of the Neanderthals don't you? They are a dozen people and a race, in fact, we imagine that our ancestors should have socialized like that before, and the human society that came later did not set up at the beginning to organize thousands, or even millions of people. Now that the social society has changed, what kind of position does the alpha man become from a group leader of a dozen people? After human history broke through the social range of other mammals with a maximum of a dozen, there was a human society, and there were also very large groups, not an alpha male dominating several females and cubs, there were many other adult males, I think, like the Yanhuang Emperor must be an alpha male. After a period of human history, Caesar and Alexander the Great in the West, and Qin Shi Huang, Cao Cao, and Liu Bang in the East should also be alpha males. And there are eight billion people in modern society, how to redefine alpha men? It's impossible that the leaders of the countries are the alpha men, right?
Over the years, I have been to some places, I have also seen some people, some men with the rapid growth of China's economy to make a lot of money, but the family and love relationship is a mess, the gender concept is also that men should spend money on girls, to chase girls, in short, they or follow the trend or really have the mind to make money to get some money, but the idea is actually quite silky. There are also some men, who may have a hand in women, very gentle, but not bloody, not strong in willpower, and often the economic conditions are not good. To sum up, these hidden habits or characteristics are what alpha men should have in contemporary society, women look for husbands to find this, male friends can learn to develop in this direction.
First, higher social status.
Whether it is a primitive tribe of humans or an organization like a wolf pack, there are hierarchies, including alpha males, beta males, females, and cubs. Although human society is not a crowd now, but honestly human society also has a certain structure, although the president and the sweeper are as glorious, but let's discuss it here is still a little utilitarian, otherwise it can't be discussed. This kind of human social structure exists everywhere, in school, work, family, circle of friends, every alpha man knows that this structure is real, they will keenly identify this structure, so alpha men tend to try to climb up the social class. In real life, we will actually see some men focusing on their careers and improving their cognitive level, the so-called chasing girls does not exist in their eyes, but women often bring their love to life.
Second, don't prove yourself to anyone.
Some men deliberately behave very aggressively, afraid that others will not know that they are tough guys, but they are often not very respected, and their social status is not very high. In fact, many of the big guys in the world are very gentle. On the contrary, alpha men do not deliberately compete with other men, they are often calm, careful, reliable, will fight for the happiness and safety of the people they care about, alpha men are not interested in showing off their strength to others or anything, because they have nothing to prove. I am the strongest, confident in my own worth from the inside out.
Third, very strong leadership.
In life, no one will put a crown on you and say you are the leader. Leadership is more about yourself and other people around you subconsciously recognizing that you are the leader, they may not know this themselves, but from your behavior, outsiders can see it at a glance. Alpha man does not need others to recognize whether he is a leader, they do not need to wait for others to make decisions, they do not need others to tell him what to do, he himself subconsciously will naturally become a leader in a group of people, if there is a decision to do, they will do, if there is a problem to be solved, they will solve. They will take the initiative to take responsibility, because this is self-evident in everyone's subconscious, if the leader of a project team is on a business trip, a young guy is an alpha man, he will take the initiative to take the task in the group of this month as his responsibility, and in the future he will be more respected than the so-called old employees in the group. In real life, no one in his circle will call him a leader, no one will call him an alpha man, but there are things that often they stand up and act.
Fourth, win respect with actions.
Since there are alpha men in the world, there will be beta men, and there are beta wolves in the wolf pack, who often do not have strong willpower, leadership and cognitive level, and the beta wolf in the wolf pack is not the strongest. Alpha men tend to use actions to earn respect, while beta men fantasize about getting respect that they never act. Beta men want everyone to look at themselves like alpha men, but the eyes of the masses are bright, they have never tried to improve their social status, to win respect, all day long know that it is too difficult to call. And alpha men will never open their mouths to ask for the respect of others, they will use their own practical actions to prove their value, and the key moments are often more stable. So how do you win the respect of others? You can set yourself up for yourself, let others think you are successful, enthusiastic, ambitious, you can also make others think you are kind, generous, and helpful. But like I said before, this is no different from cheating, and to win the respect of others, you have to set a goal for yourself and then work hard to achieve that goal. The latter is a very hardcore and difficult path, but this is often the path that alpha men will choose, and once you do that, you can get respect and recognition without having to socialize to others.
Fifth, emotional control is very strong.
Whether it is a film and television drama or the real world, I don't know if you have found that there are always people like Zhang Fei who can't control emotions, and there are people like Liu Bei who can control emotions. Except for some whose personalities are not very good, alpha men almost never shout. Alpha men rarely raise their voices or lose control of their emotions, but in fact, alpha men are able to remain calm and think almost cold-bloodedly when others are panicked. Even in the most frustrating times, they can control their emotions. When others lose the ability to think calmly due to fear, anger, excitement, and timidity, the alpha man is not in danger and makes the right decisions. This is one of the reasons why people rely on alpha men to lead and protect them. You can always trust that an alpha man can stay calm in any situation, even if all the other people around him are emotionally controlled. Alpha men are careful and patient, and they don't shout out words that they regret without thinking.
Sixth, confidently reject others.
Alpha men are not afraid to reject others, and most people will feel embarrassed or guilty about rejecting others, but alpha men can be very confident in deciding what they want to do or not want to do. If they want to do it, they say yes and then do it confidently and passionately. If they don't want to do it, they won't hesitate to refuse. Alpha Man respects himself very much and does not compromise with what he really needs and wants. This doesn't mean alpha men are self-centered or selfish, it's just that they don't put themselves in an uncomfortable position just for the pleasure of others. In other words, if you don't want to do something, just say no, don't force yourself to say sorry, you have the right to refuse. You don't need to apologize, you don't need to make up a story you're busy with, or even feel guilty. You have the right to accept or reject every request given to you by someone else, and Alpha Man knows this better than anyone.
Seventh, self-reliance.
Alpha men rarely go to others for help. There's nothing inherently wrong with asking someone else for help, but alpha men prefer to solve problems on their own. If there is an obstacle that they need to overcome, they will quietly work, grow, and improve themselves until they can solve the problem. Because for alphas, this process is the most precious, they want to grow, they want to become stronger, smarter, more capable, even if the price is to experience failure many times in the process. Alpha wolves tend to be lone wolves. Alpha men are also lonely sometimes, especially when they are in trouble and want to solve problems on their own. In this way, they can help others overcome the same difficulties later. Every achievement makes an alpha man a better leader, and every success makes them more confident and trusting in their abilities. So don't be too surprised if you're around an alpha man who is having trouble and doesn't need help, because alpha men are facing difficulties alone.
Eighth, stick to your preferences.
Beta men tend to take other people's opinions too seriously, but alpha men don't care what others think. Instead, alpha males focus their attention on their own personal preferences and opinions. If an alpha man likes something, he doesn't need to be recognized by others. They don't pay attention to trends, things that are all the rage, and some so-called norms, because they have their own ideas and decide what they like, rather than what the outside world says about what is a trend and what they should chase. In general, alpha men are very confident in their own preferences, and it is this confidence that allows an alpha man to innovate and define what is the trend, while others tend to follow the trend defined by others.
Ninth, look forward to success, whether for yourself or for the people around you.
Alpha men are high-standard people, they work hard and are fully committed to their work, so they are used to completing tasks perfectly and excellently. So this often makes them unconsciously have such high standards and strict requirements for others, and they hope that others will meet their own standards. They take for granted their ability to solve problems on the road to success and assume that others can do the same. Therefore, you can actually know that many great CEOs will always be helpless to their subordinates, for example, Amazon's founder and former CEO Bezos is often ridiculed as a "tyrant", "how can such a small thing be undecided", "who is the CEO of this company!" ”。 But in reality, most people simply can't think, work, and persevere like alpha male leaders, who are generally responsive, have strong willpower and leadership, and these qualities allow them to reach heights in their careers that others can't reach. So, if you have a very Versailles person around you, people may really take success for granted, of course, alpha men have high requirements for the people around them, and they have higher requirements for themselves.
Tenth, trust your instincts.
One of the things Alpha Men relies on most on the road to success is his instincts and intuition. Alpha Man has a very strong and accurate intuition to guide him through difficult times or to succeed in an unfamiliar situation. Alpha men are generally very good at independent thinking, and they know at a very early age to trust their intuition and instincts, which is why alpha men can survive and even grow up in a high-pressure environment. They may not be the smartest in terms of INTELLIGENCE, but they are definitely the most responsive, adaptable, and most important key players. Ordinary people are not able to fully trust their intuition, once they want to believe in themselves, they will always feel that something is not suitable, in the end, this is actually to give the fate to others, and the alpha man will never give the fate to others. Trusting your instincts may not always lead to good results, but alpha men will definitely be confident in their decisions, which is actually confidence in themselves. They take responsibility for their choices and devote themselves to that decision.
Also take Bezos as an example, when everyone thinks that Amazon's vigorous development of cloud computing is unreasonable, Bezos is under great pressure to still believe in his decision, and finally established his position as the world's richest man.
Eleventh, communication goes straight and straight.
When socializing, most people hide their true opinions because of doubts and insecurities, but alpha men are not afraid to say what they really think. Sometimes, alpha men are even so uncomfortable that they say things that people don't hear often, which may hit some people's social comfort zone, but in the same way, they don't hide their true thoughts just to please others. And this way of speaking is also in line with their daily life, alpha men need direct and effective communication in life, where there is time and energy to turn corners, their way of communicating will sometimes be tense, but also exciting.
Twelfth, a high degree of self-discipline.
Alpha men are highly disciplined in their careers and lives. Some people say that life is a bag, some people will put all kinds of addictions in it, some people will put mediocrity in it, and alpha men put passion and challenges in it, and alpha men will obviously make more contributions to society than ordinary people. Ordinary people will be very surprised to see what alpha man can do every day after getting up, and may think in their hearts: how can he be so disciplined. Alpha men are a group of ambitious people who want to improve themselves in all aspects. Sometimes this can backfire and make life very stressful and tiring, but most of the time self-discipline is good.
I have seen a movie called "Smelling Women" before, the protagonist Al Pacino said at the end: In many stages of my life, there are some roads for me to choose, I always know which way is right, but I always choose the wrong one, do you know why? Because that road is too TM difficult. In fact, many qualities we really know are right, but not everyone has the willpower to develop those qualities, fortunately, modern society is more open and inclusive, and not many people believe in social Darwin, everyone has personality and dignity. But for people who want to achieve extraordinary success, some of the above qualities can be used as a reference.