01
Emotionally, most women will have such a confusion in their hearts, is he not in love with me, is he wanting to break up?
The reason for this confusion is mainly because their boyfriends or husbands behave very strangely, completely different from before, and make them scratch their heads.
For example, he recently came home suddenly and very late, asked why he went, and replied that he was working overtime in the company, and he was busy lately. Or maybe he always plays with his mobile phone at home, talks to him, and doesn't give a reaction for half a day. There is also a message to him, not replying for a long time, and his attitude towards himself is very cold.
But this is not what he used to look like, once how sticky he was, he was not willing to separate at all times, and he would go home immediately after work, and when he got home, he couldn't see his girlfriend and was in a hurry, and he usually said anything he would show a very interested look, and it was impossible not to reply to the message for half a day, and the attitude was cold.
It is precisely because of these various performances that the woman's heart will be very bottomless and unconfident about this relationship, and she feels that the other party no longer loves herself, is he having a new object outside? There are also some women who foolishly feel that they have done something wrong, very self-blame, until one day suddenly found that he had made a new girlfriend, only to suddenly realize.
Women will be confused, obviously they don't love me anymore, or they have new people, why don't they want to break up with me? Obviously, as long as he said to break up, I would definitely not pestering him, and would immediately turn around and leave.
In fact, most men are not good at talking about breaking up, so they often use the way they think is appropriate to force each other to break up.
02
Why aren't men good at breaking up? Because breaking up will bring pain and sadness to the other party.
It is not that they are afraid of each other's sadness, because the sadness of breaking up is actually far less than the harm caused by cold violence and empathy, but they are not willing to be the bad person who said breakup.
Yes, in their view, the person who takes the initiative to mention the breakup is the bad guy, and they feel that if they mention the breakup, they will be scolded by the scumbag, and they will be told by the people around him that he will always be chaotic and abandoned.
They will not be stupid to bear the name of the scumbag, so what to do? Their solution is to find a way to let women mention the breakup, and they will never be the one who mentions the breakup, and they will not mention it.
And the way they forced their girlfriends to break up was actually quite clumsy, that is, to tell each other with practical actions, I don't love you anymore, I don't like you anymore.
One of the most obvious and straightforward behaviors is cold violence. Men are good at using cold violence, especially in the face of a woman who has no longer loved.
The most common form of cold violence is to stop accompanying you. Every time you say let him accompany, he always says that he doesn't have time, and then find a place to hide, so that you don't know, but what they are busy with, will not let you know, they will appear to be very busy, creating the illusion of working overtime in the company, in fact, may be playing games, drinking with their brothers, or going fishing in the river.
Then it's just ignoring you, you message him, he doesn't reply, or just replies very perfunctorily "eh", "Oh", "okay", "got it", and one more sentence is not willing to say.
This will make the other party accumulate a lot of resentment in their hearts, but they don't know where to vent, because he is not completely ignoring you, he is also reasonable, but he will not talk to you more.
When you face each other, he will ignore you, not communicate with you, what you say to him, he seems to be unable to hear, the eyes are scattered, and the person is absent.
Also, they will create some contradictions in life, find some trivial things to argue with you, and even do things that make you angry, see how you breathe, and then they will slam the door, turn off the phone, and don't show up for a few days.
This is very typical cold violence, cold to you, do not talk to you, ignore you, let you feel his coldness towards you, so as to doubt whether he does not love you, they do this, is to provoke you, let you be angry with him, disappointed, sad, so that you can achieve the purpose of you taking the initiative to break up.
03
The process of cold violence is actually a huge mental torture for women, because women encounter problems in their feelings, often tend to solve them through communication, but men directly close the valve of communication, so that they are full of resentment.
Moreover, because she originally had a lot of expectations for this relationship, and often accompanied by nostalgia for the good old days, unwilling to believe that he did not love himself, the final result was blind reflection on herself, was she doing something wrong, was it not doing well enough?
In fact, women have not done anything wrong, there is no place to do not do well enough, the reason for his coldness, but just do not love, it is as simple as that, they can't say break up, think it will hurt you, so use this way to force you to mention the breakup, so it is not his fault.
Secondly, this is also a place where they are shrewd, they don't want to completely tear their faces with women, because they still regard women as a way out for themselves, in case one day they think that she is still the best, so that they can turn back.
Offensive can be attacked, retreat can be defended, which is why they are not willing to say break up and are not willing to be bad people.
Seeing this, I hope that girls will understand that it does not matter whether they are willing to be bad or not, because their cold violence is bad enough, which shows that they do not actually have a mature way to deal with emotions, continue to be together, and will only be hurt more in the future.
Once they use cold violence against you, it shows that the other party does not love you, and the person who does not love himself must stand up, do not have to wait until they come to mention the breakup, the girl can also be the person who takes the initiative to break up, at least this can show that you are cooler than the other party, you can honestly face your feelings, and he can't.
Remember, be sure to take the initiative in your own hands, don't worry about whether he loves or not, when you feel that you don't love, that is, don't love, don't give the other party the opportunity to hurt yourself again.
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Article illustration | Stills from "The Sixth Sense of Life and Death"