From ancient times to the present, marriage has always been a topic that a person cannot avoid in his life.
Whether you choose or refuse, at the right age you will always hear something related to this, meet some people related to this, even if you personally do not take the initiative to understand, family, friends and family and even the passers-by around them will almost always talk about marriage.
What kind of person to find to accompany them for a lifetime, and how to maintain the marriage, this has become a place of concern.
Bi Shumin, a national first-class writer and psychologist, once expounded her views for people through an article entitled "Men who can't wash dishes are not good husbands": People who go to wash dishes after dinner are the most worth cherishing.
There are definitely many people who do not think that washing dishes is a very simple thing how to affect the harmonious relationship between husband and wife, in fact, more people still have such a view.
Dishwashing is not just an insignificant branch of housework, it is the wife's job, what is there to tangle?
With the development of the times, the idea of equality between men and women has gradually penetrated the hearts of the people, but in the relationship between husband and wife, some divisions of labor still have some "reasonable" and "own work".
It is the existence of such a view that makes many husband and wife relationships go from being like glue at the beginning to being inseparable.
This also makes many people confused and ask, "Why do we go to different ends because of a dishwashing"?
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="2" >01 A game of ideals and reality</h1>
Some people say that marriage is of great significance to women, in ancient times, women had to accept the orders of their parents, and the words of the matchmaker must follow the three virtues and four virtues, there is no freedom, but it is only an appendage of men.
Nowadays, women's status has gradually improved, they are on an equal footing with men, they can also be independent in the workplace, they are financially independent, and they can even work harder than some men, and it is not a problem to earn money to support their families.
Their pursuit of love is gradually rising, and they want to find a partner who really loves themselves.
Before marriage, they enjoyed the beauty brought by love, imagining and sketching a happy future.
However, after marriage, their lives have changed a lot from before, whether it is physical or mental, there is a lot of pressure, both to earn money to support the family, but also to be beautiful.
However, all these efforts are not worth showing off in the eyes of most family members, who still believe that men are the economic pillar of the family, and do not pay attention to women for a long time so that they cannot find their own life value.
What follows is the decline in happiness value, their pursuit of the future is overwhelmed by the triviality of the whole day, responsible for the family's three meals a day, housework hygiene, but also to accept the urging of their parents and elders, the husband's incomprehension and so on.
These have pushed them to no respite, and they have begun to doubt their original decision, is it bad to live alone? Why choose marriage? What does marriage bring to itself? And what have you lost?
Marriage brings about an increase in age, iteration of troubles, constant quarrels, and gradually rising above the topic of whether it is necessary for the marriage between each other to continue.
Obviously, this kind of married life is not what people want, the beautiful ideal life will eventually be defeated by reality, the wife who was once understanding and gentle and generous is no longer there, and the husband who loves him has disappeared.
The two look at each other with disappointment, but the result of all this is actually due to the daily life of pots and pans, and women are also the treasures in their parents' hearts when they have not entered the stage of marriage.
After becoming a wife, their identity changes, what they need is the spiritual support and love of their lovers, so that their married life can be happy and long-lasting.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="5" >02 Washing dishes is a bridge to enhance the relationship between husband and wife</h1>
Washing dishes, which may seem trivial, is indeed the key to affecting the harmonious relationship between husband and wife, and even determines whether the family can have a stable and happy relationship.
Washing dishes is a matter within the responsibility of wives, and they naturally have to take the initiative to take on various affairs of the family, especially housework, which is the most basic obligation and responsibility of a wife.
Of course, this is not a single male concept, it can be said that it is the view of most men, so people will automatically ignore these efforts in the long run.
In women's minds, they don't think so, they think that since they have formed a family together, they should actively participate in housework.
Bi Shumin once used the story of a loving couple from marriage to divorce in a short period of time in an article to explain the role of dishwashing in marriage.
This young couple walked together because of love and met into the palace of marriage, but the two people had differences on the matter of washing dishes.
Neither of them likes to wash dishes, and in order to deal with this problem, they have reached a consensus that new bowls are used for every meal, although they said that they received dishes from friends and relatives when they got married, but these bowls are always useful.
After the last bowl was used up, they were faced with a mountain of dishes and slagged into distress, and the couple began to quarrel.
The husband complained that the wife did not fulfill the responsibility of a wife, and the wife was also very aggrieved and responded: "The bowl is not consumed by me alone, why should I wash it?" ”。
The two did not give in to each other from the initial quarrel to the breaking of all the dishes, walked into the Civil Affairs Bureau, exchanged for divorce papers, and have since parted ways.
This story seems to be extreme, but it is indeed a problem in many families, do not underestimate the small matter of washing dishes, it is more of a symbol in the family.
It is not so much about washing dishes to keep the environment clean, but rather about using this to ensure the stability of the marriage, and the party who wants to have a stable marriage should take the initiative to take on more housework.
In fact, washing dishes is a very simple and easy thing, it will not take up too much of your time, but it is because of this small action that it will bring different spiritual comfort to the other party.
Let the other party feel the psychological feeling of being cared for and warm, and promote the relationship between husband and wife, this is the meaning of washing dishes, and it is also the meaning of family.
Home is a place where we toil all day to seek relaxation and comfort, and the husband's act of taking the initiative to wash the dishes after a meal is in the eyes of the wife the partner's response to his love.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="20" >03 Love does not naturally need to go in both directions</h1>
There is no unprovoked love in the world, and there is no reason to hate, love and hate are hidden in the bits and pieces of life.
Some people say that it is easy for people to become so dependent on each other's efforts that they should do so as each other, and they should always do so.
If you think that way, it is wrong, so that what you get is not the eternity of love, but the separation of you, a knife and a knife.
Men show meticulous care in the pursuit of women, and after marriage women believe that this is the task of their husbands, and should continue to take care of their own food, clothing and living for a lifetime.
The idea of having such a thought indicates that she is wrong, and no one has an obligation to take care of you for a lifetime.
After all, love is the choice and payment between two parties, and the payment of one party is bound to be discouraged without the response of the other party, and the rift in feelings is getting farther and farther between each other.
At the beginning of love, both parties will try to show their perfect side in front of their lovers, and life after marriage gradually exposes their original shortcomings, and men also begin to complain that their wives are lazy and sloppy, and do not tidy up the housework.
And the wife's heart is also full of grievances, she also returned home after a busy day to take the initiative to cook and wash, but in exchange for her husband's complaints.
The result of mutual rejection is inevitably quarrel, and quarrels herald the rupture and end of each other's feelings.
Love is always hidden in the bits and pieces of daily life, and some people have said that a person's performance in the kitchen can more or less show a person's attitude towards the family.
There are many people in this world who accompany you to eat, but there are very few people who are willing to wash dishes, washing dishes is a small thing, but day after day, repeated actions are no longer just a test of a person's will, but more reflect the atmosphere of a family, a husband's attitude towards his wife.
Imagine a picture of a wife alone in the kitchen while the husband is comfortably lying on the couch brushing his phone or sniffing melon seeds while watching TV.
Another picture is of the husband actively participating in the dishwashing, chatting with his wife, and time passing through simple words.
The two families obviously have different atmospheres, the former's wife from the beginning to take the initiative to take on the housework of the family to later become an invisible task to complete, this change is bound to affect the relationship between the two.
In the latter, their feelings have become more intimate in a bowl and a dish, a word.
If a person does not have love, it is difficult for him to fully devote himself to the family, and he will not be willing to pay in the face of daily trivialities.
Abandoning the traditional concept of thought, housework is not the task of a single person, it needs to be undertaken by both husband and wife, and taking the initiative to undertake housework is an important manifestation of attaching importance to loving the family.
Housework, no matter how big or small, can see each other's attitude towards the family, just like Bi Shumin wrote in the article, the two are not willing to take on housework when they return home after a tiring day's work.
In fact, two people can take the initiative to take on certain housework together, rather than prevaricating with each other.
Home is a haven, a place where we seek warmth after a tiring day, but this one harbor needs two people to build together.
In such a fast-paced life, everyone is toiling and running.
It is a rare fortune to meet a person who is willing to return home to take the initiative to wash dishes after being busy, and it must be cherished and cherished this simple and plain beauty.