I attended my own funeral

I had a dream last night that I was dead.

Like all the old people who died in the village, the family also held a funeral for me, many people who knew and did not know each other gathered together, very noisy, I participated in my own funeral the whole time, as if the dead person was not me, I was just the one who came to send off, I personally gave myself a grave, I jumped into the pit, carefully smoothed every corner with my hands, threw out the protruding mud blocks, or stepped flat, and then I saw people hanging my coffin with a rope and putting it into this small pit, and the coffin had my name written on it, Marked as my physical place, I began to stop people, hoping that they would not put down, I cried loudly, crying so loudly that I cried out so loudly that I cried out so loudly that people did not seem to hear it, still put the coffin down, but did not fill it with yellow soil, and returned to the village, I saw people around the table rejoicing, eating and drinking, it seemed that this was not a funeral, like a festive day, I cried tired, drifted home, saw my mother lying on the bed resting, I kept talking to her, she did not respond, I actually cried again, There is no feeling of nostalgia, but I hope that people will finish eating, can fill my coffin with loess as soon as possible, give me the last decency, however, did not wait for this, I cried and woke up, woke up, the mood is extremely heavy, I don't know what happened, will I have such a dream, is it difficult to be the memory of the past life? In my past life, was my affection so indifferent?

There are thousands of knots in the heart. I prayed too much to be disappointed, and I couldn't forgive my childhood. Time, can't you dilute all sorrow?