Text/Blue Dream
Figure/Source network
In this case, if a friend can reach out to you and provide appropriate help, then although we cannot solve the problem in front of us perfectly, our body will be full of strength to achieve the final victory.
This is the meaning of friends - when the wind and waves are calm, accompany us to watch the flowers blossom and fall, and give us the strength to live when there is something.
It is for this reason that countless great men have told us to value living in harmony with others and, if necessary, to turn them into our friends.
The truth is true, the problem is that friends are good and bad.
If we treat everyone equally, then we will definitely be bullied by bad friends, and eventually affect our own growth.
Therefore, before making friends, we must first figure out the difference between good friends and bad friends.
Countless examples tell us that no matter how well-connected a friend has these three qualities, he must break off contact as soon as possible, otherwise he will be hurt by himself.
Can't see you well
In this world, not any friend wants you to be good.
In psychology, there is a term called the "crab effect."
People who often catch crabs know that if you put a crab in the basket, it will be able to climb up quickly, which should be due to its strong legs. For crabs, although the basket is tall, it is not difficult to climb because it has a "ladder".
However, if you put a bunch of crabs in the basket, you will find that they are not easy to climb out. The first people who learned the truth were surprised. In his opinion, the power of the crab itself can not be underestimated, and now with the help of other partners, it should be climbed out in a very short time.
Why are they all in the basket?
The reason is simple, because there will be competition between the various crabs. For the crab, it can't climb out of the basket, so it can't let other partners climb out of the basket, so whenever a crab is about to climb out of the basket, other crabs will pull it down hard.
This is true of every crab. Therefore, although they have the strength to climb out of the basket, because of this incorrect psychology, few crabs can climb out.
I believe that anyone who sees this scene will think that the crab's approach is too stupid. They could have run out of the basket in a very short time, but because of their bad psychology, they eventually became the food on the human table together.
The problem is that the affairs of life have always been "the authorities are confused, and the bystanders are clear."
Many people can see the stupidity of the crab, but they do not know that their approach is no different from the crab - in the face of peers who are better than themselves, instead of learning from their peers, they always want to find out the mistakes of the other party, so as to prove themselves right.
As everyone knows, this is a very stupid approach. This will not only harm your friends, but also yourself.
Just think, if he can calm down and learn from his peers, then on the one hand, the friendship between the two will be more stable, on the other hand, he will gain a lot.
The problem is that not everyone can do it.
Therefore, whether in real life or in film and television works, we often see people who do not look good to others. After learning that the friend was appreciated by the superior, instead of thinking of helping the friend, he reported to the leader behind his back to prevent the friend from getting better results.
It is sad to be friends with such people. Either become the object of his frame-up; or forever become someone inferior to him.
Mr. Qian Zhongshu once discussed his own views on this kind of person in his book "Siege of the City": the viciousness of some people, like the grit in rice or the unclean thorns in bone fish fillets, will give people an unexpected pain.
For such a person, you cannot follow it, otherwise you will not be able to progress; you cannot accept it, otherwise you will become the object of his murder, so the best way is to stay away.
I don't know how to be grateful
As the saying goes: the grace of dripping water will repay the spring.
Without him, because others helped us in our most difficult time, so in order to show gratitude, we should give each other more spring water, in order to consolidate the emotional foundation of the two people.
Doing so, both for the sake of the other party and for oneself, is expressed in a more popular term, that is, "win-win".
But that's not what anyone thinks. In the eyes of some people, how much you give is a matter of course, but as long as you infringe on his interests slightly, you should not, so they just do the opposite, with resentment in return.
For example, the lover in "Red Sorghum".
Jiu'er felt that she was more similar to her own background, so he cared about her very much and did not regard her as a squire at all.
For such a kind of grace of knowing, Lian'er also thought about repaying the spring, but in the end, he did not resist the jealousy in his heart, so he secretly gave Jiu'er a trip.
In this regard, Jiu'er was heartbroken, but in the end she could not bear to hurt her. Who knows that she is not only not grateful, but also intensified.
Jiu'er also tried to show her the way, but found that any truth would not work in front of Lian'er. Indeed, for ungrateful people, learning to be grateful is a ridiculous thing.
Therefore, the best way to do this is to stay away.
People who squeeze you again and again
Some people, in the process of getting along with others, have never paid their hearts, but they ask others to repeatedly fulfill their wishes.
Your money should be given to me, who made you so rich? Your time should be given to me, who made you so capable? Your house should be given to you, who made you have that much house?
Such logic simply brings "I am weak and I am reasonable" to the extreme. For example, Su Mu's younger brother in "All Is Good".
I get married, you should give me money; I have children, you should give me money; children eat formula, you should give me money...
Because of her parents' preference for sons and daughters, Su Mu is very eager for the warmth of the family, so she has repeatedly fulfilled her brother's wishes, hoping that in this way, she can let her family pay more attention to herself.
Unfortunately, she took the initiative to be disappointed, because for those who repeatedly squeezed others, there was never the word "return" in the personal dictionary.
If it were not for Su Mingyu's momentum being strong enough, it is possible that after Su Mu left, the Su family would still be the object of Su Mu's brother's oppression.
Friends with good relationships, if they have the characteristics of "can't see you well", "don't understand gratitude", and "repeatedly suppress you", then break off contact early, so the genes of selfishness and jealousy have been carved into their bone marrow, no matter how much you pay for him, he will not be grateful, but will naturally enjoy your efforts.
Such a friend, after you encounter difficulties, will not reach out to you, but will fall into the well, so the best way is to stay away, the farther away the better.
END.