Last year today Abba left us forever. Abba will never answer me again. Abba (20)

　　Abba (20)

September 22.

At 6:47 in the morning, the mobile phone vibrated, and I subconsciously picked up in my dream, and the anxious voice of My Mother came from the mobile phone: Quiet, come quickly! Abba can't do it!

Oh, my God! My heart trembled uncontrollably, and my whole being was shaking. Calm, calm! After getting dressed and carrying a bag, I rushed out the door, stopped a passing battery car at the entrance of the community, and drove me to the community hospital.

Rushing to the ward, my brother had arrived, and Abba was unconscious.

At 4:00 a.m., Mom helped Abba get up and urinate, Mom praised him, and Abba smiled at Mom. At 6 o'clock, I asked Abba to get up and call him shouldn't, thinking that he still wanted to sleep, and his mother went to prepare breakfast first. At 6:30 still can't wake up Mu Mom quickly looked for a doctor, the doctor came to measure the blood pressure, 245! Suspected intracranial hemorrhage, hung up salt water for Abba, and Mom dialed 120.

Soon 120 arrived, at 7:25 to the central hospital emergency room, respiratory failure pupil dilated, fortunately there is a heartbeat, immediately rescued, life indicators slowly returned...

At one point, we thought that if we had been rescued and stabilized, we could be transferred to the general ward.

The CT results completely shattered our illusions. Abba's brain stem was bleeding extensively, and the doctor clearly told him that he would never wake up again, never go back...

Stay by his side, watching the indicators on the monitoring screen suddenly up and down, touching his hand cold and cold, I shouted at him, while touching and rubbing, his hand slowly warmed up, I went to touch the other hand, the two hands kept changing. Stubbornly thinking, maybe he can sense it, maybe he can give him some strength to overcome the disease...

September 26.

Abba has not woken up since he was unconscious in his sleep in the early morning of the 22nd, went into the emergency room for rescue, and entered the ICU in the evening.

At 3:21 a.m. on September 26, 2020, Abba left us forever in our company and protection. He died on December 31, 2012 at the age of 8

1933-12-12～2020-09-26

The last three stanzas, written and deleted, deleted and written. All the veins are so clear, so clear that every breath, every punctuation mark. But it was extremely difficult to write. How to write, all the pain of the heart! Full screen of paste!

Just 15 days after I came back, Abba was gone.

Was he waiting for me all the time? He is a person who is more sympathetic to us, and he never wants us to be sad and suffer, so if he does not hold out until I come back to take care of him, he will worry about his daughter being sad and regret for life; and if I take care of him for too long, he will feel sorry for his daughter suffering, and he can't bear to drag his daughter and drag his mother, so he chose this time to leave? But Abba, have you ever thought that if you leave suddenly without a word, how can we bear it?

When Abba died in the early morning of the 26th, it suddenly rained lightly, the sky was dark, and only the lights from the hospital building were revealed. I went back and forth from the ICU inpatient building to the emergency room to go through the formalities, my face could not tell whether it was rain or tears, and I had only one thought in my heart: Is Abba gone? Is this true?

To this day, I still wonder about this question.

A friend once said to me: Maybe it's good over there, otherwise, why don't anyone who goes back?

He also told me that treasure does not necessarily have to have a form of existence. Put it in your heart, it is the best and most permanent treasure.

Today, looking back on his words again, I think his words were right.

The sister next door said to me: Don't be sad, they have a companion.

Yes.

Abba is buried in the land of the Green Mountains ---- Xiangyang Team for which he dedicated his most beautiful years. There are mountains and waters that he is familiar with, and there are many old colleagues and old friends to accompany him, and he will not be alone. In Abba's world, in that heaven, he was healthy and happy. He didn't leave me, he was always there, all the time.

In my heart.

Abba, you've been gone for 33 days.

I sat in the tea garden, facing the Sunshine Team. I want to be close to you in this way and talk to you.

Abba, you must be well over there, you must change the way you live, live wantonly, live with grace. Be nice to yourself, be selfish, and don't worry so much. You definitely hope that we all live well, smooth and healthy, you can rest assured, we will, I will take good care of My Mother, cherish every day.

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(End)