I climbed into college along my own path in life. There was a whole bunch of young people like me. When we first entered the school, we had a lot of energy, very little money, a lot of ideas, and very little experience. We drank a lot of beer on the roof, stayed up all night playing cards, made harassing phone calls to the girls' dormitory, sang rock and roll in the toilet... We're too lazy to do anything, and in fact, we're too lazy to let us do anything. We're just a bunch of jerks who seem happy but sometimes sad.
Later we all went online, so the school forums became messy. I met her in this moment. She said she was pretty, I said I was handsome. She said she was the main player on the tennis team, and I said I was the captain of the school team. She said she would lead the dance at the school ball, and I said I would ride my wolf to drag racing,... Later, she said we should meet. It's tiring to talk like this. I agreed, and I rode my wolf about in the back garden of the school.
That night, I was wearing Dad's coat and riding Mom's broken car on the lawn. The setting sun reflected an empty pale yellow above me, and then I saw a pretty girl in a long white dress coming up. I was the only one on the lawn. She looked at me puzzled and asked, Have you ever seen a man who looks like David Beckham ride a motorcycle racing? I said I didn't see it, but you might be describing me. I'm waiting for a netizen. Is that you?
She was disappointed and stared at me almost desperately for half a day before saying, you lied to me, but what I said was true.
I said sorry, I really don't want to lie, my nickname is handsome, in fact, the boys on the floor of our dormitory are called handsome, which is more of an incentive. I'm indeed the varsity captain, but I'm the cheerleader; I name my bike the Wolf because it's bad enough, and I often race before class, but not for excitement, but for being late.
After listening to my explanation, her face did not improve, thinking that her mouth was full of lies. I suppose she must have really wanted to scold me, so she said sincerely, you can go if you want, or you can ring the pager and run away with dignity. I don't blame you, and I don't feel too guilty.
She laughed and said it wasn't enough. Now that we're here, let's find a better place to talk. I said don't force it. She said no, it doesn't matter anyway. I thought there was open water nearby. She said let's go.
The water is surrounded by greenery and is very elegant. Even better, no one. I sat down happily and soon realized something was wrong. It turned out that a new toilet was built next to the water bar, and the smell was very strong. No wonder there are no customers.
We drank water next to that simple toilet, surrounded by people coming and going. She said bitterly that this is a good place for you to choose. I smiled awkwardly, it wasn't bad. Easy access to the toilet.
She bit her lip and finally said, "I want to... You're an asshole. ”
Finally, my essence was revealed and things became clear at once. I said with relief, "Yes, yes, there is a kind of person in the world who, whatever he does or does not do, is an asshole." People looked at him and inexplicably felt hateful. The good and the totally bad become great men, and the rest become assholes, like me..."
Is it? She smiled sinisterly and said, I want to see how asshole you are.
"This may require long-term observation."
"Oh, you're quite clever."
I didn't expect to see her very often. I'm not sure if there's some conspiracy, but I think I should give her a little thanks, like giving her a gift, and then I think I can give her a goldfish.
When I gave her a goldfish tank, she was pleasantly surprised and said, "It's so pretty." How did you come up with the idea to give me this? ”
"Because it's cheap, it only sells for ten dollars."
She looked at me and smiled and said, "What an asshole... Oh, why did this fish turn over and die? She tossed the fish and shouted suddenly.
"It's a backstroke fish, that's how it swims."
"Really? Backstroke fish? She stared curiously at the fish and said, "It's ugly and weird, with a big belly and gluttony... How about calling it 'bastard'? She seemed satisfied with the decision and said to me.
"Okay..." I said, "the other one is so pretty, just call it your name, right?" ”
"Haha....." She replied without smiling. Bastard" was swimming bored in the fish tank. It's ugly, but no one has ever seen it.
Because of the goldfish, because she wants to know how jerk I am, we often stay together. I think we're even going to fall in love. She asked me to go to the lotus pond at school to discuss why I was an asshole. That pond is a good place. God knows what we'll be discussing there.
When I got there, she was wearing that long white dress and looking ecstatically at the lotus flowers in the water. The skirt fluttered gently, the long hair naturally hung down, and the face was slightly red like a lotus bud. She was really as beautiful as a lotus. I watched it for a while, and then I felt like I was really wishful thinking. How could she have taken a fancy to me? Just a little frustrated. When she saw me, she waved and said, "Wait, I'll go over there and get the book and disappear into a grove by the pool."
Suddenly I heard a scream and the thudding sound of something falling into the water. I immediately realized that she had fallen into the water and plunged into the pool without undressing... Then I heard a scream, but it came from the shore.
I climbed up to meet her surprised gaze, like a soaked chicken, embarrassed. "I just want to know how deep this pool is," I said with a laugh.
She stared at me for a moment, and her eyes lit up and she said, "You think I fell into it, don't you?"
I couldn't think of anything to say, so I had to smile.
"Do you know how deep the water is now?"
"... Estimates lower than me, higher than you. ”
I was beaten by her and it hurt. Because I'm an asshole, I should be beaten.
Then, under the wind-calm sky, all the days passed briskly. It was as if we were unstoppable on the road to the front line. She always liked to look at the stars, because she said the stars recorded her wishes, so she must have had a lot of wishes.
"I want to... Living in the steppes of Tibet, you can see high snowy mountains and green land every day..." She looked up at the brightest stars and said. Yes, since you want to go there, you can definitely go there. Why not?
After all, we will understand how far the sky is, how many great forces can easily destroy everything in it, so we are actually very fragile, and there may be only a limit to what we can do.
One night the following year, the dormitory building where she lived caught fire and burned wildly. She ran away early, but she went back to get something, so she never came out again. When cleaning up the scene, it was said that there was a broken goldfish tank next to her, which contained burned-out belly backstroke fish.
She actually liked the "bastard", so the price she paid was her life.
I forget what I did in those days. It seems that nothing has been done, but it seems that I have woken up from a confused dream and seen a lot of things. I didn't go to see her because she must have been burned like a backstroke fish in her belly, and in my heart she would always be beautiful. I don't have time to be sad because I have a lot of things to do, like going to the Tibet she longs for.
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